17. Shannon
CHAPTER 17
SHANNON
I know a lot about my husband’s teammates. And I watch all of Max’s games, so I see them play frequently.
But until this afternoon, I don’t think I’ve ever studied another hockey player the way I’m watching Russell right now.
It’s impossible not to see him. He’s the biggest man on the ice. The slowest, too, most of the time, until someone gets within a foot of him, and then suddenly he’s in front of them, forechecking them so hard they go flying.
Over and over again.
The way he does it is a bit of magic, and even though they’re all familiar with his play, he manages to surprise them often.
There’s a lot more to what they’re doing today. The skills coach, Thea, has cameras set up around the rink to record them, and right now they’re taking a bit of a break between sessions by doing a little show and tell with favourite shots and moves. It’s an intense session to watch.
It’s all impressive. But my favourite part so far has been Russ being a beast on demand.
“They look great, don’t they?” Becca Kincaid bounces next to me. “But I think they always do. I even thought they looked great in the playoffs.”
When her fiancé had met the ire of fans and media alike head-on, taking the brunt of the blame for Hamilton’s quick exit in the first round.
“Hayden really does look great,” I reassure her. “He’s a talented player, and he’s just going to get better.”
She glances around. We’re alone right now in the stands of the community arena. Emery is skating with the guys, and Kiley, Harper, and Ani went in search of tea and coffee, because after a morning in the sun, the ice rink is extra cold for those of us not skating hard. I’m glad I grabbed Max’s black Highlanders hoodie and a winter beanie.
Becca lowers her voice. “Can I ask you about your opinion on this Ice League that is launching?”
Tension coils between my shoulder blades. “What have you heard?”
“Just what’s circulating online. Hayden says that Kieran told them to just ignore it.”
“That’s probably for a reason,” I say carefully. Maybe that’s why Max hasn’t brought it up to me, too, although it’s not like him to take advice from Kieran. “I try to keep out of the business side of things.”
“Okay.” She chews on her lower lip. “There’s just so much speculation about it online.”
“My best advice is to mute any accounts that get in your head. Staying offline is even better, but I could never.”
Her eyes light up. “Really? Because same. I’m an Insta addict.”
“I get it. Just curate what you see in the first place, that’s the only way I’ve ever been able to manage it without going crazy with the what-ifs. And stay grounded in stuff like this.” I gesture to the practice on the ice. “Look at how committed they are to this upcoming season as a team. Who cares about a rival league? Not the Hamilton Highlanders, that’s for sure.”
“Thank you.” Becca’s quiet for a minute, and in that moment Hayden skates hard for one of the cameras set up close to us, then when he finishes his drill, he veers off and gives her a happy wave. She laughs and waves back. “I think he’s going to want this camera set up for himself.”
“Put it on the Christmas list,” I say warmly.
“Put what on the Christmas list?” Ani asks, sliding into the seat beside me and handing over a takeout cup of tea.
“The camera set up.”
“Oooh, yeah.” Harper sits down next to Becca on the other side. “Good idea.”
“What was Kieran’s favourite present from you last year?” Becca asks her.
“Something personal in a TMI way.”
Kiley does a double-take. “Really? You didn’t tell me.”
“Because it’s TMI!”
“You need to tell us now.”
Harper turns an R-rated shade of red. “Butt plugs,” she mutters under her breath.
Ani leans toward, talking across us as she says in a stage whisper, “For you or for him?”
Becca squeak and covers her ears.
“No comment,” Harper says, her gaze snapping to the ice. But when we protest, she smiles. “For him to use on me. Like I was the gift.”
“Oh, that’s good. That’s very good.” And as one, all of my friends start to think about how they can give themselves to their husbands this Christmas.
Me? I’m immediately processing the awkwardness of what Max would do if I gave him a sex toy and the promise he could use it on me. I had to learn how to get myself off with my fingers because he’s so uncomfortable with the idea of a toy being “better” than him.
On the ice, Malik tries to hip check Russ and gets sprawled out on the ice for his efforts.
Russ shakes off the impact, then twirls his stick in the air before catching it and pointing it at the nearest camera.
Someone should turn that into a TikTok. He’s so easy and natural when he doesn’t think anyone other than his teammates will see the recording.
I’m glad Emery is on the ice with them, and not part of this conversation. There’s a one hundred percent chance that her contribution would be a perky confirmation that Russ loves her sex toys and they use them every chance they get.
When we get back to the cottage, Foster puts the team through a hard workout and some recovery therapy in the garage while Thea reviews the video from the ice time and cues it up in Russ’s viewing room.
As part of the good wife, good cheerleader role, I sit next to Max when she’s ready for them to watch what she’s cut for them.
I pat his thigh and bump his shoulder when it seems appropriate, although even after eight years of watching hockey, I’m never sure what is good or bad. When we break to have a pasta dinner Emery makes, he seems happy.
Seems being the operative word.
“Oh, before I forget,” he says casually once we’re all seated. “I found a pair of sunglasses on the dock at lunch. Who left a pair down there?”
Alarm prickles up my spine.
Russ doesn’t react at all .
His careful silence pushes on my guilt reflex more effectively than anything else has so far. I think that deep down, I’ve always known I’m capable of deceiving my husband. Anyone, really. It’s a skill I had to hone when I started spending time with incredibly wealthy men, because deception and denial are constants in their lives.
Max turns to me, sliding his arm over the back of my chair. “Shan? Was anyone swimming down there with you?”
“Wait, are they like, big? Oversized?” Emery interjects. She smiles brightly. “Might be mine.”
“We were tanning together,” I manage to say. “Before lunch.”
“I must have left them down there. Thanks, Max.”
“No problem,” he mutters, looking like there is still definitely a problem.
Emery glances my way briefly, her smile firmly in place, her gaze soft and warm. Delayed guilt roils in my belly.
“This sauce is incredible, ” Ani says, changing the subject.
Emery laughs. “You want to know where I learned how to make it? TikTok.”
Russ leans in. “Tell them about the hiccup cure.”
“Oooh yes.” She throws her head back, cackling. “Okay, so if you ever get the hiccups, just yell I am not a fish and throw your arms up in the air. They’ll go away.”
There’s a chorus of disbelieving reactions around the table. She leans over, snuggling into Russ as she looks up at him softly. “Tell them how it worked last night.”
He grins down at her.
Another visceral reaction slices through my chest, this one hotter and more deadly than the guilt.
“She crawled into bed, drunk as a skunk?—”
“I wasn’t drunk,” she corrects. “Happily tipsy.”
“Wakes me up?—”
“Apologized immediately .”
“And then scared the crap out of me with the fish thing.”
“You skipped the part where I told you how nice your friends are,” Emery says, triumphantly finishing their nauseatingly sweet little performance.
My thoughts right now aren’t nice at all.
I stab my fork into my pasta, hating how delicious it is. Hating that Emery saved the conversation, diverted my husband’s misplaced jealousy, and sparked this new wave of my own misplaced jealousy all at the same time.
I want to like her so, so much.
I do like her.
But in this moment, I hate her even more.
I hate how perfect she is for Russ. That my first assumption, that they weren’t suited to each other, wasn’t correct in the slightest.
And most of all, I hate that I read something into this afternoon that obviously didn’t exist.
“What else have you learned from TikTok?” Kiley asks.
“What haven’t I learned?” Emery taps her bottom lip with her index finger, thinking. “How to fold a bottom sheet easily, how to put a duvet cover on a king size duvet by yourself—a lot of them are bedding related—oh, and sleep related, too. Like hacks to fall asleep faster. There’s this thing called cognitive shuffling ? — ”
Max smirks. “TikTok dumbs everything down. I do cognitive shuffling but it’s not that simple.”
Emery frowns. “It’s not dumbing something down to make it easily understood. That takes a lot of skill, actually. I learned about cognitive shuffling in sixty seconds, and it works the way it was described. Seems pretty simple to me.”
“I’m sure.” Except his tone sounds utterly dismissive.
God. Damn. It.
I stand up as quietly as I can, wanting to just remove myself from the table without causing a scene.
I long for my bedroom at home, my lovely dressing room, and my oversized bathtub.
“Everything okay?” Russ asks.
“Everything’s great,” I say, not making eye contact.
As I head into the kitchen, I leave Emery and Max arguing over the specifics of how to do something called cognitive shuffling. He insists there’s a very detailed right way to do it, and she’s gleefully insisting it’s really just random word play with your eyes closed.
In the kitchen, I eat the last few bites of my dinner, then rinse the bowl and put it in the dishwasher.
Everyone else trails in a few minutes later. Russ’s gaze finds me as soon as he steps inside. I turn and give Emery and Kiley my full attention. They’re arguing about movies.
“We could watch Cutting Edge ,” Kiley says.
“Toe pick!” Harper says, twirling around in the circle. Kieran catches her, and she does a flourish with her arms to stick the landing.
“There’s even hockey in that for the boys,” Emery says sweetly.
Malik protests. “I like figure skating movies, too.”
“Who doesn’t?” Emery grabs the front of Russ’s shirt and tugs. “What cocktail goes perfectly with a broken love triangle?”
The three words are a stab to my chest. And again his gaze finds mine, over her head. This time, I can’t look away, and there’s a loud rush of blood through my ears as his brows pull tight.
What are we doing?
He removes Emery’s hands from his shirt and steps back.
Ani looks worried. “I’m not a big fan of love triangles.”
That makes two of us. Anxiety twists inside me.
“Wait, have you never seen Cutting Edge ?” Kiley shakes her head. “It’s really not a real love triangle. She's not meant to be with her fiancé. It's Titanic rules. It's a broken love triangle, which is my favourite.”
Emery nods vigorously. “Don't worry, she's not torn about the choice. And I wouldn’t be either. D.B. Sweeney or…whoever the guy in the suit is? No contest.”
I gasp, then clap my hand over my mouth.
Emery glances my way, her eyes twinkling. “Am I wrong?”
“Not wrong,” I have to admit, my head spinning.
She grins. “He reigned supreme as the hottest hockey player on the small screen until Shoresy came into my life.”
That reference to an irreverent Canadian hockey comedy shifts the entire conversation immediately.
“Shoresy!” Roan and Malik said at the same time. “Give your nuts a tug.”
Even the main character’s signature line is said in unison.
We’ve lost control of movie night.
“All right, show of hands. Who wants to watch Shoresy ?” Russ asks.
Emery protests, turning on him, and he just covers her mouth with his fingers. I feel that touch on my body, in the cold lake water, and I go still.
Nobody notices as all the guys put their hands up.
“And Cutting Edge ?” he asks, although we’ve already lost.
Still, the girls all put our hands up. My hand is shaking.
“Tomorrow,” Russ says. “Maybe while we’re skating?”