7. Dan
CHAPTER 7
DAN
I tie up my skates, my wrist reminding me it’s still not right. I head out onto the ice, relishing the light wind in my hair as I glide around the rink. It’s not often I get to do this—and not at all lately, thanks to my injury. In fact, when I headed out onto the ice with Cooper and Scotty that day I saw Keira, it was the first time I’d skated since Coach informed me I was benched.
I’ve had a few physical therapy sessions with Jennifer, the team PT, since I’ve been back here, and she told me I’m definitely on the mend. She saw no harm in me giving Benny a few pointers on the ice. She’s even given me the green light to practice with the guys, just as long as I don’t do anything to hurt my wrist.
I’m taking it and skating with it. Pun intended.
Today is my first lesson with Benny, and I’m amped to see Keira again. I called her as I had promised, and she told me that her sister was fine with my teaching Benny, and that they could come for their first lesson today.
I was so happy—I punched the air and remained on a high for the rest of the day.
Usually when I’m out on the ice, an arena is full of my teammates. Big personalities and small, talking, skating, being told what to do by Coach. Not today. Practice was over hours ago, and the last of Ellie’s class have gone. It’s just me, my skates, and the ice, and as I move around the rink, stick in hand, I take a moment to enjoy it before seeing Keira again.
I could have kissed Ellie when she told me that Keira isn’t married, and Benny and Hannah are her sister’s kids. Of course I didn’t. There’s only one woman I want to kiss, and she’s the one who’s held my heart in her hands my entire adult life, only I’ve been too focused on my hockey career to admit it, even to myself.
Now that I’m sure she’s not married to another man, it’s not just the gliding across the smooth ice that has me feeling exhilarated. This could be it. This could be my chance with her. My chance to tell her how much she means to me, how I’ve never forgotten her. How I hope that somehow, if she’s willing, we could make this thing between us work once more.
My chests fills with warmth at the possibility.
Me and Kiki, together as one.
It seems so perfect, so possible . Sure, my career has always been super important to me, my driving force in life. But seeing Keira again has only served to remind me what I gave up all those years ago.
It was a mistake. A huge mistake. It’s one I regret making every day, especially since I’m confronted with her presence daily.
So, when I saw the opportunity to spend time with Keira by training Benny, I leapt at it. Part of me has always wanted to teach kids someday, to share my skills and passion for the game with the next generation. To inspire them. The fact that Benny also happens to be Keira’s nephew? Well, that just adds to the appeal, because let’s face it, when you messed up with the love of your life and you get a second chance, you grab it with both hands, and you do not let go.
This could be our rebound play, and I’m not going to let her slip through my fingers.
I need to make her mine again.
I pick up the pace on the ice, my legs finding their rhythm, propelling me faster. The wind whips past my face as I lean into each stride, my muscles working hard. The sensation of speed is intoxicating, a blend of control and wild freedom, and I can’t help but grin. I’ve had my first couple of practices with my team, which have gone as well as you could expect a bunch of guys from opposing teams thrown together could go; we’ve gotten the big media event done, showing the team off to the world; and now my time is finally my own. I’m free to pursue what—and who —I really want.
Keira.
Out of the corner of my eye, a couple of blurred figures captures my attention. I slow my pace, angling my feet to come to a stop beside them, ice shavings spraying.
She’s here.
“Hey, guys,” I say, my breath coming in short, heavy bursts.
Keira is standing at the side of the rink, holding Benny’s hand. Her nephew’s hand.
That fact still makes me want to punch the air.
She’s in the same red jacket from the other day, only this time she’s not hiding beneath its hood. Her blonde hair is tied up in a ponytail, her face makeup-free, in stark contrast to so many of the women I meet. She’s effortlessly beautiful in a natural, girl-next-door kind of way, and my chest squeezes, just as it does every time I lay eyes on her.
“Dan the Man!” Benny squeals excitedly. “I’m gonna be a hockey player just like you!”
“You sure are, Benny and The Jets,” I reply, using Keira’s term of endearment for him. “Put it here, dude.” I hold out my gloved right hand and he slaps it in a high five, leaping off the ground with impressive athleticism.
I turn my attention to his aunt. “It’s good to see you again, Aunt Kiki,” I say, teasing.
She smiles at me and it’s as though I’ve won the state lottery.
Man, I have got it so bad for this woman.
“She’s not your aunt!” Benny exclaims with a laugh.
“You’re right, Benny. My bad.”
“Thanks again for doing this,” she says. “Clara wanted me to let you know how grateful she is. How grateful we both are.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I want to do it,” I say, my gaze holding hers for a beat, or two, before she looks down.
I turn my attention to Benny. “I’ve got some skates for you to try on.”
“Cool!” Benny exclaims as I step off the ice and onto the floor, showing them where to find the skates.
Ordinarily, I tower over Kiki’s 5′6″ height, but in my skates, I feel like a giant next to her.
“No need. We brought a pair, so there’s no problem.” Keira holds up a pair of figure skates. “These were Hannah’s. She outgrew them. I know you said he needs hockey skates, but I didn’t want to put you out and I haven’t had the chance to get some second-hand ones. I figured these will do for now, at least.”
“I don’t like them. They’re girl skates,” Benny complains, his bottom lip pushed out in a pout.
“Honey, they still work just the same on the ice.” Keira offers them to him, but Benny crosses his arms and looks away.
“May I?” I ask, and Keira nods. Taking them in my hands, I say, “Benny’s got a point, but it’s less that they’re girl skates and more that they’re for figure skating. Remember I told you that hockey skates need to do different things? It’s why they have a stiff pad and a curved blade for quick turns. See?” I point at my own skates. “Figure skates have ankle support for jumps and spins, with a longer, flatter blade.”
“See, Aunt Kiki? I told you,” says Benny.
Keira’s face colors. “These are all we’ve got,” she says to me quietly, and although I know she’s embarrassed, I admit I love the intimacy in her soft, feminine voice.
“That’s why I got some hockey skates for him. We talked about this, and I thought you were okay with it?” I ask, hoping I haven’t overstepped the mark again.
This feels like a minefield.
“I remember.”
“If it’s a problem?—”
“No. It’s fine,” she replies, pulling her lips into a smile.
“I want the skates. Real hockey skates, not dumb figure-skating ones,” Benny says, and Keira’s eyes flash to mine.
“Only if it’s okay with Aunt Kiki,” I reply.
She pauses for a beat before she replies, “It’s okay. Thank you, Dan.”
I grin. “Do you want to try some on?” I ask Benny. “I’ve got a bunch of kids sizes because I didn’t know which to get.”
Keira finds the right size from my embarrassingly large selection, and then she helps him into a pair of lightly padded ski pants, so that when he inevitably falls on the ice, he’ll at least be cushioned.
“When do I get to wear the pads?” Benny asks as Keira ties up his laces.
“Benny’s always wanted to run before he can walk,” she says with a laugh.
“We’ll get to the gear soon enough. First, you gotta learn how to skate, buddy. Have you been on the ice before? ”
“Sure! I’m a pro,” Benny declares, his self-confidence making me smile.
“Just your regular free-for-all skating,” Keira qualifies. “I’ve brought him here a few times, usually around Christmas. Troy holds these sessions with Christmas tunes and a big tree over by the office. It’s really festive and fun. He can stand and move well enough. Right, Benny?”
“Right,” he replies.
“That sure sounds like a pro to me. Okay, buddy, let’s get out there, shall we?”
Benny throws his fists in the air. “Yeah!”
“But here’s a helmet. Safety first.” I slide a helmet onto his head before I slip my own helmet back on and clip it into place.
“This is so kind of you, Dan,” Keira says, and I notice how her gray-blue eyes look particularly iridescent today. “But you’ve got to let me pay you for the lesson. It’s the least I can do.”
I wave her words away. “I told you: I want to do this.”
“I insist, Dan. I can’t afford your NHL-level fees of course, but you’ve got to at least let me pay you something.”
I land on an idea. “Tell you what, you can buy me a hot chocolate after.”
She looks over at the counter where a member of staff is working the hot chocolate machine for a customer. Turning her gaze back at me, she shrugs. “That’ll be one big hot chocolate.”
I let out a laugh. “Sounds great to me. I always used to love the hot chocolates here after a game back in the day.”
I shared those hot chocolates with her. I wonder if she’s remembering that, too.
“Come on, Dan the Man,” Benny calls impatiently from the ice.
“Do you want to join us?” I ask her.
She holds her book up. “Heathcliff has almost got his revenge. ”
“Are you sure? If you didn’t bring any skates, you know I’ve got a bunch over here.” I gesture at the collection.
She looks like she might waver for a moment before she reaffirms her resolve. “You guys go have fun. I’m going to sit here and try to work out why Heathcliff is considered a romantic hero, because I’m not seeing it right now.”
“Okay.”
That’s one of the things I have always loved the most about Keira. She doesn’t take things at face value. She wants to understand. She investigates, wanting to know, wanting to learn. “A thirst for knowledge” is the way our twelfth grade English teacher, Mrs. Nelson, described it, and it would seem she’s not lost it, ten years on.
Although I could stand and talk to Keira all day, I’ve got a lesson to give to Benny, so I tear myself away from her and head out onto the ice, holding a kid-size hockey stick. When I reach Benny’s side, I hand it to him, watching as his eyes light up.
“For me?” he asks.
“For you. To keep.”
He holds it up in the air. “Look, Aunt Kiki! I got my own hockey stick!”
“You’re so lucky!” Keira calls back. “Did you thank Dan?”
“Thanks, Dan,” Benny says immediately.
“Shall I show you how to use it?”
“I already know,” he insists and proceeds to skate, holding his stick in front of him with one hand, about a foot above the ice.
Points for enthusiasm, but not so much for technique.
“How about I show you the proper grip? Both hands. Top hand controls, bottom hand guides.”
He grips it, his eyes wide with the novelty.
“Nice work, Benny. Now, why don’t you feel the puck with the stick?” I slide a puck from my pocket onto the ice in front of him .
He fumbles at first, his stick awkwardly chasing the puck like a cat after a laser pointer, barely making contact.
“The trick is to keep it close, like it’s attached to the end of your stick,” I advise him.
He nods, focused on the task. With a few more tries, he’s pushing the puck along, a little more confidently each time.
“Nice work! You’ll be deking out goalies in the NHL in no time,” I say.
“What’s deking?” he asks.
“It’s short for decoy and it means you trick an opposing player out of their position so you can get past them and score a goal.”
“I wanna do that,” he replies with a grin.
“Kid, we all wanna do that,” I tell him with a laugh. “Watch this.”
I drop another puck from my pocket onto the ice and push it around. I pull back to shoot for goal and as my stick makes contact with the puck, a jolt of hot, searing pain shoots up my left arm from my wrist.
“Ah!” I utter reflexively, dropping my stick to grip my wrist.
Benny looks at me in confusion. “I don’t think that’s how you do it,” he says, his brows pulled inward, making him look like a serious adult.
I can’t help but laugh despite the pain.
“Dan! Are you all right?” Keira calls from the sideline.
I turn to look at her and give her the thumbs up. “Just being dramatic.” I tell Benny to practice his moves and skate over to her.
“It’s your wrist, right? I heard you had an injury.”
“I was dumb. The PT told me not to overdo it, but I got carried away trying to show Benny how to shoot for a goal.”
“You’ve got to take care of yourself,” she says, and the concern in her voice fills my chest with a warm glow.
“I’ll try. ”
We share a smile, and it feels as though I am one step closer to my goal of making her mine once more.
“Dan! Look at me!” Benny calls out, and I turn to see him nudging the puck into the goal from a five-foot distance.
“Awesome work, Benny,” I say.
His smile says it all—this could be the beginning of something great for him, and I’m happy to come along for the ride.
“I’ll give him another ten minutes or so,” I say to Keira.
“As long as your wrist is okay?” Her brow is furrowed with worry, and I can’t help but smile.
“It’s fine, but thanks for checking.” My wrist gives a contrary throb, but right now, basking in Keira’s smile, I could not care less.
I try a few more moves with Benny before time’s up. Together, we skate back to the edge of the rink where Keira is waiting for us.
“You looked great out there, champ,” Keira says as Benny flops down beside her.
“It was so fun. Dan’s the best. He said I’m gonna make it to the NHL.”
“Keep up the great work you put in today and you’ll have a shot,” I reply.
“Well, how about we focus on one lesson at a time for now and then see how things go?” Keira suggests, clearly tempering her nephew’s lofty aspirations.
“Speaking of which, is the day after tomorrow for his next lesson okay with you? Same time?” I try to keep the eagerness from my voice. Fail.
“I don’t want to use up too much of your time.”
“You’re not. Trust me.”
“But what about practices and all the things you’ve got to do with the team? Publicity and such, and spending time with Emmy and your parents, not to mention Mimi? You must be super busy.”
“I’ve got a few things coming up, but practice is in the mornings, and other than spending time with my family, I’m as free as a bird.”
She shoots me an uncertain look. I get why. She feels indebted to me, her ex. But what she doesn’t know is that I’ll do anything to get close to her, and besides, teaching Benny has been a lot of fun. It feels good to give back to a kid from my hometown with the same dreams as I once had.
“What about your wrist? The last thing we want to do is set you back. The whole town is counting on you leading this team to victory.”
“Do you have any more arguments to throw at me for me not to teach your nephew?”
I can almost see the cogs in her brain turning over. “Look, Benny’s got a lot of promise. He picked the skills up pretty fast out there. Plus, he’s a great kid.”
She smiles, looking down at her nephew who has removed his skates, the love she has for him palpable. “He sure is.”
“So that’s set then. The day after tomorrow, same time.” She opens her mouth to say something, and I add, “I want to do this for him.”
And I want to be close to you.
“Thanks,” she replies.
“Now, how about that hot chocolate you promised me?”
Her lips lift into a smile that brightens her whole face. “One hot chocolate, coming up. Do you want one, too, Benny?”
“Hot chocolate!” he says, bouncing up and down on the spot.
She shakes her head in good humor at her nephew. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
We order our hot chocolates and sit in the bleachers to drink them. We ordered extra marshmallows, mainly for the delicious goo factor, and as Keira takes her first sip, she gets a marshmallow moustache. It takes all my strength not to lean in and kiss it right off, savoring the sweet taste of the marshmallow—and her.
I know it’s way too soon, but a man wants what a man wants. And this man wants the woman sitting next to me looking so sexy and adorable with a marshmallow moustache.
“This is nice. Like old times,” I say.
“It is,” she replies.
“Aunt Kiki’s got a mustache!” Benny teases, and her eyes wide with embarrassment; she quickly wipes her top lip.
“Personally, I thought it suited you,” I say and win a laugh from her.
“You could have told me.” She nudges me with her shoulder, and it strikes me that this is our first physical touch since we broke up. It’s a small thing, but I see it as a definite step in the right direction.
“How’s Mimi doing? Emmy told me she lives with her these days to help out.”
“We’re all super grateful to Emmy. Mimi’s arthritis is causing her some trouble, but you know Mimi: nothing much keeps her down.”
My grandmother is a force to be reckoned with. An indomitable spirit, she won’t let something as trifling as painful arthritis get in the way of living her life to the fullest. Having Emmy live with her has helped a lot, and I’m grateful to know my sister is keeping a close eye on her these days. We all are.
“She’s one of the reasons I grabbed the chance to come back here to play for the Ice Breakers. She’s not getting younger, and time with her is special.”
“I love Mimi. She sometimes comes to the farmers’ market on the weekends, and I see her chatting with the townsfolk, always with a smile on her face. Give her my best when you next see her?”
“Of course I will. You run the Maple Falls Farmers’ Market, right?”
Her face lights up with a fresh smile. “I do. I love it. The stall holders are great, and I get to enjoy live music each day as I do my job. Plus, I am given a bunch of fresh produce each weekend, which means Benny and Hannah have to eat their vegetables. ”
I chuckle. “I bet they’re super happy about that.”
“You know kids and vegetables.”
Benny is now pretending to hit an imaginary puck with his hockey stick against the carpet, giving a commentary on his seemingly endless ability to score goal after goal.
“Do you really think he’s got promise?” Keira asks.
“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t think it. No point getting the kid’s hopes up for no reason.”
“He’s wanted to be a hockey player since he came to his first game when he was only three. But hockey’s an expensive sport. I remember your family having to make sacrifices to allow you to pursue your dreams.”
“My dad worked as many extra shifts at the gas station, after his regular work day, as he could get,” I reply, remembering how incredible my parents were in their support of me and my chosen career path. Dad had his nine to five at the lumber mill, and while Mom was running me around to lessons and practices, he would pull shifts at the gas station over on 3rd Street. But he’d always manage to be at my games, come what may, with him and Mom in the bleachers, cheering me on.
Everyone knew it was a gamble. The stats say it all: fewer than five percent of high school hockey players make it into the NHL. I may be pointing out the obvious, but that’s over ninety-five percent who don’t. The odds sure were stacked against me. But my parents believed in me, and they did what they could to help me realize my dream.
That’s just the way they’re built. They supported all us kids with our chosen paths: me with hockey, Ethan with acting, and Emmy with her love of all things books.
Although I know I can never truly thank them for everything they did for me, I can show them in the small ways available to me now. I offered to buy them a new house at the wealthier end of town, a new-build with all the modern conveniences, but they wanted to stay in their home. So instead, I paid off their mortgage for them, a fact they thank me for repeatedly every time we see one another, no matter how many times I tell them they don’t need to thank me at all.
I take in Keira’s tight-lipped frown. “Is everything okay?” I ask.
She takes a deep breath. “I’m going to level with you, Dan. You’re super kind to offer Benny hockey gear, but one day he will grow out of those, and then we’ll have to buy new ones, and the pattern will repeat until he’s fully grown if he really wants to pursue hockey. As generous as you are, I think it’s only going to be hard for him when we can’t allow him to keep playing.”
“I know exactly what you’re talking about. But please, let me take care of it.”
She shakes her head. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that.”
I land on an idea. “This charity we’re here playing for is a kids’ charity. The Happy Horizons Ranch. Angel Davis runs it. I could see what she could do for Benny.”
And if they can’t help him, I’ll make it happen. I just won’t tell Keira.
“I don’t think they give money to kids wanting to play ice hockey,” she replies with a light laugh. “It’s a ranch where Angel and her team help kids learn outdoor and farming skills. That kind of thing.”
“Got it. I’ll work something out. Leave it to me?”
What’s the point of all the money I get for shooting a puck around on a rink if I can’t use it to help the people I love?
Okay, like . The people I like. Only, when it comes to Keira, it sure feels a whole lot more like love.
Ellie walks past, noticing us sitting on the bleachers together, and comes to a stop, smiling up at us. “It’s just like old times, you two here together.”
I steal a glance at Keira. She’s smiling, looking a little awkward—and a whole lot beautiful.
“We’re catching up over a hot chocolate, that’s all,” Keira replies. “Dan just gave Benny a private hockey lesson. ”
“So I hear.” She raises her brows at me as though she doesn’t know about it. “Is that a service you’re offering all the kids in Maple Falls now that you’re back, Dan?”
I know she’s teasing—and fishing. Definitely fishing.
“I’d be happy to,” I reply smoothly.
“Tell you what. I’ll keep it a secret, so you’re not mobbed by all the kids in town.” She throws us a wink. “Have fun, you two,” she says before she walks away.
I steal a look at Keira. Her cheeks are glowing, lighting up her beautiful face, and I allow myself the hope that maybe, over time, she’ll remember how good it was to be with me. And she’ll want me back, just as much as I want her.