12. Keira
CHAPTER 12
KEIRA
“Why are you suddenly playing matchmaker?” I ask Clara as we sit at the kitchen table to eat our dinner. I’d actually cooked tonight—a rare occurrence in this household. I view myself more as an assembler of meals rather than a cook per se, other than my famous pumpkin pie, of course, which is a total labor of love. The fact that I roasted a chicken, complete with potatoes, pumpkin, and broccoli is no small feat.
“What’s a matchmaker?” Benny asks. “Oh, I know. It’s like that box of matches above the fireplace. Can you make those, Mommy?”
“That’s not what it is,” Hannah declares confidently, so much wiser at her eight years of age.
“What is it then, sweetie?” Clara asks her, no doubt stalling for time.
“It’s when someone can see that two people love each other and so they put them together so they will live happily ever after.” Hannah smiles at us all, satisfied with her surprisingly accurate and mature definition.
“Wow, sweetie. You’ve got that spot on,” Clara says as she lovingly smooths down her daughter’s hair. “I’ve got a couple of smart kids. Don’t I, Aunt Kiki?”
“You sure do,” I reply with a smile. “But that doesn’t answer my question.” I take a bite of roasted potato. It’s surprisingly good, considering I cooked it. Not as good as Mom’s, of course, but nothing I make is.
“Can’t you allow your poor sister a little entertainment from her sick bed?” Clara replies, pulling out the CFS card.
I shake my head. “Oh, no. You can’t pull the sick card on me, sis. You’re definitely matchmaking us.”
“Who? Who is mommy matchmaking you with? Who do you love?” Hannah demands.
I give Clara a look. “Your mom knows.”
“Who, Mommy?” Hannah asks.
“Just the perfect man for your aunt. They used to date in high school, and they were the cutest couple back then, and by the looks of things, at least one of them wants to be a cute couple once more, if a certain number on a jersey is anything to go by.”
Hannah looks at her mom blankly.
“Maybe we should take this conversation offline?” I suggest, and thankfully Clara agrees, and she drops the topic until it’s just her and me in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner.
“And?” she leads.
“And what?”
“You know exactly what. You and Dan. ”
I press my lips together as I wipe a tea towel across a cleaned dinner plate. “There is no me and Dan.”
“I know there isn’t right now, but there should be. Not only is he teaching Benny how to play hockey, but he came by here to give you his jersey with your birthdate on it . How much more obvious does he have to get?”
“He gave all of us his jersey.”
“Only because he wants you to wear it.”
“I would be a fool to pin my hopes on something like that. Most of the town will be wearing Dan’s jersey at the games. He’s the small-town guy made good in the NHL, after all. ‘Dan the Man.’”
She gives me a satisfied smile, so I busy myself with drying off another dinner plate. “You do realize you’ve just given away how you feel about the guy.”
Busted.
I turn to face her. “How I feel about him is completely irrelevant. He’s only here in town for six weeks, and then he’ll be gone.”
“And you can continue pining for him from a distance?”
“I don’t want to put myself on the line for someone who left for bigger and brighter things the first time ’round. I’m the girl he left behind, remember? I don’t want to feel like that again when he leaves in a few weeks. So, really, how I feel about him is completely irrelevant because it won’t stop him leaving. Again .”
She’s still got that annoying, satisfied smile on her face, like she knows something that I don’t know.
“What?” I ask in exasperation.
“Did you notice anything when you came home today?”
I pull my eyebrows together. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Think about it. You pulled your car into the driveway as usual. Then you got out of your car and walked up the steps to come through the front door. ”
“Where are you going with this? I don’t think I need a blow-by-blow of how I entered the house, riveting as it is.”
She throws her hand on her hips. “Are you purposely not getting this?”
“What’s there to get?”
“The step. It was broken this morning when you left, and now …”
I narrow my eyes at her. “What has the broken step got to do with Dan?”
“It seems I’m going to have to spell this out to you. Dan came over this afternoon when you were out.”
My heart rate jumps at the thought of Dan coming to my house again. “He did?”
Clara nods. “He brought a hammer and nails.”
“Why would he bring—” My mind finally catches up on what Clara is telling me. “Dan fixed the broken step?” I ask, my voice coming out all breathy.
Her knowing smile morphs into a broad grin. “He fixed the step.”
Clara looks out the kitchen window, and I hear the rumble of an engine. “Oh, and one other thing, sis. He’s coming back to take you out, right about now.”
“Wait, what?!” I squeal, my pulse banging against my ribs like a caged animal trying to escape. Dan fixed the step? And now he’s here to take me out?
“Did I not tell you?” Clara asks, her face bright.
“I might have remembered that if you had!” I reply, clutching a tea towel and plate in my hands. “Is it a date? As in a proper date? It’s a date, isn’t it? Clara?”
My sister is now beaming like the Cheshire cat. “It’s a date.” She places a hand on my shoulder. “Be careful. Okay, Keeks?”
“Be careful? Why?” I ask, confused, as I peer out the window at Dan, closing the door of his SUV and making his way toward the entrance to the house.
Dan. Here. Taking me on a date .
I might pass out.
“Because, Kiki, you might just get everything you ever wanted.”
I open my mouth to reply when there’s a knock at the door and I swear my heart almost gives out with the knowledge that Dan is standing on my doorstep—the fixed doorstep, thanks to him—waiting for me.
“Well? Are you going to answer the door?” Clara asks when I don’t move.
“The door. Right.” On shaking legs, I leave the kitchen, still clutching onto my tea towel and dinner plate as though they’re my safety blanket. I can see Dan’s bulk and his broad shoulders through the glass of the front door, and I suck in a deep breath, my hand on the doorknob before I turn it and pull the door open.
“Hey,” I murmur as I take him in. He’s wearing a grey sweater with a zip at the neck, open to show a white T-shirt underneath, which he’s paired with some dark dress pants and sneakers. He looks ridiculously handsome and oh-so hot and looking at him I finally understand the expression “he took my breath away.” Because that’s exactly what happens to me right now.
“Hi, Kiki,” he replies, looking nervous.
Dan Roberts is standing on my doorstep, looking nervous.
I feel like I’m in some kind of weird parallel universe.
“You fixed the step.”
His lips quirk into a soft smile. “I didn’t want you to fall and hurt yourself.”
Oh, my.
“That’s so kind of you. Thank you.”
“There’s no need to thank me,” he says quietly. “I did it because I wanted to.”
My breath is coming out ragged, and I’m resisting the urge to throw myself into his arms and tell him I love him right here and now. But I resist. When it comes to Dan, I’ve guarded my heart for so very long, it’s become a habit.
No matter how much I want to be with him.
“I’m going to thank you all the same,” I reply.
“In that case, you’re welcome. I was hoping to take you out tonight, if you’re free?”
I smile as a mélange of nerves, excitement, and anticipation swirl around me. “I’d like that.”
Footsteps thunder down the hallway, and an excited Benny almost bowls me over as he comes to a crashing halt, wrapping his arms around my waist.
He peers up at Dan. “Are you here to give me a lesson?” he asks hopefully.
Dan smiles down at him. “Sorry, buddy. Not tonight. Tonight, I’m taking your aunt out.”
Benny looks from Dan to me and back again. “Is that because of the matchmaking? And I don’t mean the ones above the fireplace. I mean the love matches.”
I stifle an embarrassed giggle as Dan gives me a questioning look. “There was talk of matchmaking at the dinner table tonight,” I explain.
“Got it,” Dan replies. “Is it okay if I hang out with your aunt tonight and we have our lesson after the first game?”
“Okay, I guess,” Benny replies, clearly expecting that when Dan is around, a lesson is on offer.
“I’ll go get my coat,” I tell him. “Why don’t you come in?”
“I’ll check in on that step while I wait.”
I grin. “You do that.” I rush down the hall and give Clara a hug, my eyes filling with tears. “You’re the best,” I tell her.
“You know it. Now go. Have a great night.”
I beam at her, the thought of being out on a date with Dan filling my body with spikes of electricity, my heart beating right out of my chest.
I throw on my jacket and check my appearance in the hallway mirror. Not exactly dressed for a date, but I get the feeling Dan won’t care about something like that.
A short and nervous drive later and he pulls into a parking space outside Falling for Books. All the stores on Main Street are dark with “closed” signs hanging in their windows, and I wonder why he’s brought me here.
“Are we meeting Emmy?” I ask as Dan unhooks his seatbelt.
“Not exactly,” is his elusive reply. He climbs out of the car, and I follow suit, standing on the sidewalk of the deserted Main Street.
To my surprise he pulls out a key and unlocks the front door of his sister’s bookstore. “After you,” he says, holding the door open, and confused, I step inside the darkened store.
“Come with me.” Dan takes my hand in his, the unexpected feel of skin against skin sending a delicious jolt through me, rendering my bones so they feel like liquid honey.
Wow . If I respond like this to a simple touch of his hand, how will I ever cope if he actually kisses me?
He leads me to the back of the store to the coffee shop, with the soft glow of lamps and the comforting presence of books surrounding us. One of the tables has been moved closer to the bookshelves, covered in a crisp white tablecloth, with a single unlit candle and a cardboard box labeled Maple Grounds sitting at the center. There are fairy lights hanging from the ceiling that I know weren’t there before, and as he clicks the light switch, they’re like little stars glowing around us.
“You did this?” I ask.
“I wanted to do something special for you, and I know how much books mean to you. The fact my sister runs this place made it a whole lot easier to manage.”
“Emmy’s the best.”
“She is,” he agrees.
I look around in wonder. Dan arranged all this with his sister … for me. If my brain had successfully squashed my greatest desire earlier this evening, it completely fails to have any impact wh atsoever now. Hope is pumping through my very veins, telling me I could be about to get everything I’ve ever wanted, just as Clara said.
“Why don’t you take a seat?” Dan asks as he pulls out one of the chairs from the table.
“All right.” I take a seat and watch as he lights the candle. It casts a soft glow over the table, amping up the romance that already feels through the roof.
“Would you like a drink? I got Emmy to teach me how to make your favorite coffee. Mocha, right?”
“You learned how to use the coffee machine for me?” I ask in astonishment. Astonishment and pure, unadulterated delight, that is.
He grins. “Is that so hard to believe?”
“It’s … no, it’s not. You always were kind.”
Kind and thoughtful and everything wonderful.
He holds my gaze, and all my nerves evaporate like steam into the atmosphere. Sure, I may have been secretly wishing he was mine all these years, but there’s nothing to be nervous about anymore.
This is Dan. I know him. I love him. There’s nothing more to know.
“How about that coffee?” he asks.
“I’d love a mocha. Thank you.”
“One mocha coming up,” he says as he makes his way around the counter.
I sit and watch him wield the machine, the occasional huff leaving his lips, his brows pulled together. He looks totally adorable, this huge sports pro working the machine, and I smile as I watch him.
“You sure you don’t need any help?” I ask.
“Nope,” he replies. “You’re my guest. I’ve got this.”
“Guests can help out, you know. I was a part-time barista at a Seattle coffeehouse during college.”
“I heard about that,” he says before he grinds the beans .
“You did?”
“Ask around and you find out pretty quick that folks around here have a grand total of zero secrets.”
I’ve managed to keep my feelings about you secret from the folks in Maple Falls , I think as he tamps down the coffee into the bulb as though he’s some kind of coffee expert.
But then Clara guessed it. And although Blair’s not from Maple Falls, she’s in town right now and she knows. And so does Ellie.
Hmm . Okay, so maybe I haven’t kept my feelings for Dan all that secret.
But right now, as I watch the man I’ve never gotten over, work the machine to make me my favorite coffee, that does not matter at all.
“You’ve been asking around about me?” I ask, embarrassed—but elated.
The skin around his eyes crinkles as his lips tilt in a smile. “Only Emmy and Troy and Kelly and a few others.”
I’m grinning so hard my face feels like it might crack. “I see.”
“I realized my Keira Johnson file was missing some vital details. It needed an update.”
“Details like I’m not married with kids?”
“Exactly.” His gaze lingers on mine for a beat before he seems to remember he’s in the middle of making coffee. “Time for the milk.” He furrows his brow in the most adorable way once more as he concentrates hard on steaming the milk, the familiar hissing and gurgling sounds filling the air.
Once done, he brings the coffee over to the table and places it carefully in front of me. “One mocha for my guest. Take a sip.”
“Thank you,” I reply. I lift the mug to my lips to taste it. “It’s good.”
He sits down opposite me at the little table. “Don’t sound so surprised.”
“I admit I am surprised. You’re a pro hockey player, not a barista. ”
He shrugs. “You know me. When I want something, I stop at nothing until I get it.”
The atmosphere between us shifts, his words hanging in the air. Am I the something he wants? Will he stop at nothing to get me?
Popping the box on the table open, he says, “I know how much you like the baked goods from Maple Grounds. You always had a sweet tooth.”
He offers me the box and I spy six cinnamon rolls, each looking utterly delicious. My mouth begins to water.
“This is so sweet of you.” I pick up one of the rolls. “How did you know I liked these so much?”
“You were clutching onto one when I saw you in the bleachers.”
I wince with embarrassment. “That was unbelievable. I can’t believe I did that.”
He smiles. “I thought it was cute.”
I offer him a shy look. “It was the first time we’d seen one another since we broke up all those years ago. It wasn’t exactly my finest moment.”
“Actually, I saw you a couple times on my visits home.”
“You did?”
“Yup. Once at the diner, just down the road from here. You were in a back booth. I was plucking up the courage to come over to talk to you, but I got distracted by some people wanting selfies. When I looked back, you were gone.”
Do I tell him I ran away? Heck, he caught me hiding in the bleachers. On the embarrassment scale, running away from him scores maybe a five out of ten, not the ten out of ten I scored for hiding.
“I snuck out the back,” I admit.
His brows ping up. “You did? Why?”
“Because you looked so happy and you had this big, glamorous career that came with fame and everything else, and here I was still living in our small town, not exactly living my best life.”
“You see, that’s where you’re wrong. I think you are leading your best life. You’re so enmeshed in this place, Kiki. You know everyone, they know and respect you, you’re part of the fabric of the community. Do you know how much I envy that?”
If only I hadn’t taken a sip of my coffee at that very moment, I might not have sprayed it all over the white tablecloth. “Oops,” I say as I dab at the splatters with the sleeve of my jacket.
“Forget about it,” Dan says, placing his hand over mine.
I look up into his eyes and feel a rush of warmth and peace. His gaze is steady, soft, and filled with an unspoken promise that somehow manages to reach deep into my soul.
With my chest tight, I ask, “Dan, what are we doing?”
His lips quirk. “Drinking coffee and eating cinnamon rolls, by the look of things.”
I can’t help but return his smile. “I think you know what I mean.”
“I do.” He takes a breath, lowering his eyes to our entwined hands before raising them back to mine. “I brought you here tonight because I know how much you love to read. This place is special to you, and I wanted to show you it’s one of the things I love about you.”
Love.
His mention of that four-letter word has my breath hitching in my throat.
“I know it’s been a long time since we’ve been together. A lifetime. But I wanted you to know that I’ve never forgotten about you. I’ve always held you here with me.” He places his hand over his chest. “The truth is, no one has ever compared to you, my kind, beautiful, smart Kiki.”
My heart expands to twice its size and I could not stop the grin from claiming my face for all the trees in Washington state.
“I thought you’d moved on. I was sure of it. It’s been so long. ”
“I know. Everyone told me I would find other loves, that you were just my first.”
“They told me that, too.”
“Kiki, my love, you’re it for me, but I’ve been too focused on my career, too blinded, too stupid to let you know. And right now, I’m totally putting myself out there, hoping against all odds that somehow you feel the same way about me.”
Tears spring to my eyes, my body shaking, barely believing the words that are leaving his mouth. This is what I’ve always wanted. Dan still in love with me. Dan wants to be with me.
“No one has ever compared to you, either,” I reply, my voice trembling.
In one swift move he rises from his chair and is beside me, pulling me to my feet. He holds me close against his muscular body, his large arms enveloping me.
I look up into his eyes moments before his lips come crashing against mine, holding me tight. I’m lost in him, the way it feels to be wrapped up by this big, strong man I’ve never been able to forget, all my fears and anxieties whisked away as our kiss deepens. He’s showing me how much he loves me. How much he wants me. And I can barely believe this is happening after wanting it for so, so long.
After we come up for air, he looks down at me, grinning. “I love you, Keira Johnson. With all my heart. I love you.”
“I love you too, Dan.”
“Why did we leave this so long?” he asks on a light laugh.
“I guess we were just a couple of idiots.”
He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist as he kisses me again. “You know I’m never letting you go ever again, right?”
I let out a giddy laugh. “You’d better not.”
“I promise,” he whispers, kissing me once more, and I melt into him, my Dan once more, the man I love.