14. Keira
CHAPTER 14
KEIRA
I’m in a totally loved-up daze with Dan. There’s no other way to put it.
Since that night in the bookstore when we confessed our feelings for one another—and made my life —we’ve seen each other as much as we can, which isn’t nearly as often as either of us would like, what with his practices, games, and captain responsibilities, and my job, the kids, and Clara.
But when we’re together, grabbing the small amount of free time we can get—it’s like a dream. It’s everything I never dared hope for. Everything I’ve wanted since that terrible day we broke up and Dan left town.
What can I say? Being with Dan is utterly perfect.
Well, not quite perfect perfect. That’s not possible, and I know I can’t expect everything to be totally amazing. That’s unrealistic. And it’s ninety-nine point five percent amazing. Really.
And that point five percent isn’t something I’m planning on talking to Dan about. Nope. There’s nothing I could do about it, anyway. It is what it is, as the saying goes.
But here’s the thing. Back in high school, Dan was always the popular one of us. Not that I ever liked to use labels, but he was the jock to my nerd. Total extrovert; captain of the super-successful ice hockey team; people would greet him with high fives, slaps on the back, and handshakes wherever we went. Girls would flirt with him. He was a star, even back then. People adored him. He shone.
It was a lot. Now, don’t get me wrong. I never begrudged him that attention. He’s the kind of person who attracts others, the type of person who draws people into his orbit. Heck, I was one of those people. But back then I could cope with it. Almost. It was restricted to our high school and our small town in the middle of nowhere.
Now, it’s a whole other ball game. Or puck game, more appropriately. It feels like it’s the whole country wanting to congratulate him, to be with him, to wear his jersey. To flirt with him.
Of course I get it. He’s a big deal around here. He’s our hometown hero. Blair told me her client, Cooper Montgomery, was surprised there wasn’t a statue of Dan in the town square, he’s so adored. He might have been saying it tongue in cheek, but it speaks volumes. These days that adoration goes way beyond our town. Those women who mobbed him at the arena after the first game were definitely more than fan-girling over him. There was something of the predator about them, like Dan was their prey and they weren’t going to stop until they had him in their clasp.
I saw it all.
I made out that it wasn’t a big deal and that I could cope with the attention he received, even though I could never compete with girls like that back in high school, and Dan never made me feel as though I had to. But I’ve got eyes. I know I’m not like them. I don’t have their confidence, their sex appeal, their shininess . I love living in my small town, knowing everyone, running the farmers’ market, stopping to chat to the locals about their hip replacements or gardens or what happened on their favorite TV show last night. I love hanging out at Falling for Books, sipping on a mocha, diving into the world of books.
I guess I love the quiet, simple things—and Dan’s world is anything but quiet and simple.
Along with the rest of the town, I went to the second game, cheering just as loudly as everyone else when each member of the team was announced to the team’s theme song of “Ice Ice Baby,” celebrating each goal they won, commiserating with the fans each time the Jacks smashed the puck into the net. I wore my Dan Roberts number 29 jersey along with the rest of the town, delighting when the final buzzer blared, the Ice Breakers victorious.
Dan celebrated by blowing me a kiss from the ice, and I blushed, knowing all eyes were on me, judging me as Dan’s girl, just the way they did back in high school.
I know I should be okay with it all. Dan loves me, something he shows me every single day.
But it’s one thing knowing something, and quite another to fully and wholeheartedly believe it.
“A penny for them?” Dan asks, and I look from the glass in my hand up into his soft and smiling eyes, the party celebrating the Ice Breakers narrow 4-3 win in full swing around us.
“It’s just work. I’ve leased a stall to a small olive oil producer, and they haven’t been paying their lease. ”
It’s a bald-faced lie. In my defense, I’m not exactly going to say I don’t feel good enough for you and I can never compete with your life , am I? Not here at the party, anyway.
Maybe not ever.
“Do you want my advice?” he asks as he pulls me to my feet.
“Sure thing.”
“Forget about work, and dance with me.” He grins before he pulls me against him, swaying to the music. He’s warm, big, and firm, and as I wrap my arms around him, I tell myself not to sweat the small stuff. It’s a point five percent doubt, which is a tiny fraction of a percent.
This man loves me, and I love him back.
That’s all that matters.
“You know you really do look extra beautiful tonight, Kiki,” he murmurs into my ear. It sends a shiver down my neck.
“Is it because I’m in your jersey?” I jest.
He swirls me around and dips me, grinning down at me. “That’s exactly why.”
I chortle. “Well, in that case you must think most of the people at this party are looking extra beautiful tonight.”
“Ah, but you see, they’re not you,” is his reply.
“And what’s so good about me?” I ask before I can stop myself. I sound like I’m fishing for a compliment.
He pulls me against him, holding me close. “Didn’t some famous person say, ‘let me count the ways’?”
I blink at him in disbelief. “You’re quoting Elizabeth Barrett Browning to me?”
He shrugs. “Maybe?”
I let out a laugh. “Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” As the word leaves my mouth, we both stop moving, the atmosphere around us suddenly shifting.
“What did you say?” he asks, his gaze burning into mine.
“I meant to say, who are you and what have you done with the guy … I’m … err, seeing at the moment.”
Don’t let anyone tell you I’m not super smooth .
“Not that.”
I swallow down a lump that’s forming in my throat. “Not seeing?” I ask weakly.
“The boyfriend part. I like hearing that.” Not that I thought it possible, but the intensity in his eyes ramps up a notch, and my pulse thuds like a giant’s footsteps.
“I guess then … that would make me your girlfriend,” I say, my voice trembling.
“My girlfriend,” he repeats, a smile teasing his deeply, deeply kissable lips. “Yeah. I like the sound of that. For now, anyway.”
Oh, my. Is he really insinuating what I think he’s insinuating? Because that would be beyond all things amazing. In a burst of euphoria, I loop my hands behind his neck, get up on my tippy toes, and press my lips against his, not caring we’re in the middle of a party, surrounded by people.
He responds by pulling me closer, his big hands spanning across my back, his kiss full of want for me, need for me. Love for me.
“Sealed with a kiss, girlfriend,” he murmurs.
“Break it up, you two. This is a family show,” a deep voice says, and I blink at Dan’s teammate, Dawson, who slaps Dan on the back, a broad grin on his face.
“Can’t a guy celebrate a big win with his girl?” Dan replies, and I swear, my heart doubles in size.
His girl.
“Your girl, huh?” Emmy asks, appearing at Dawson’s side. “Is there something you need to tell me, brother?”
“Like it isn’t obvious,” Dawson says on a laugh. “The guy blows a kiss to her from the ice every time he so much as makes contact with the puck.”
Emmy points between us. “He’s right. If you’re trying to fly under the radar, you failed. Big time.”
“You look like a big heart-shaped blob on a radar,” Dawson says .
“A heart-shaped blob?” Dan asks, shaking his head. “Where do you come up with these things?”
Dawson shrugs. “I’ve got a reference book with great one-liners.”
Both Dan and I turn to Emmy.
“Why are you looking at me?” she asks.
“You’re the one with the bookstore,” I reply.
Emmy laughs. “I would never sell a book with one-liners describing a couple as a heart-shaped blob on a radar.”
“You should definitely stock a book like that. They would fly off the shelves,” Dan tells her.
“I’ll look into it,” Emmy replies, clearly not intending to ever get a book with one-liners that describe people as heart-shaped blobs. “Right now, I need the ladies.’ Wanna come with me, Keira?” she asks, but she doesn’t wait for a reply, instead taking me by the hand and leading me across the room.
I glance back at Dan. He is watching us with a goofy grin on his handsome face, and I feel a surge of happiness fill my blood stream.
Dan and I official. We are girlfriend and boyfriend once more.
Talk about life turning out in the most unexpected—and most hoped for—way.
Once safely inside the ladies,’ Emmy leans against the basin, her arms crossed. “You and my brother, huh? Talk about déjà vu. This is giving me total high school vibes.”
I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face if I wanted to.
“I guess it does.”
Her face breaks into a smile. “I cannot tell you how happy I am. I mean, everyone knows you guys have been seeing each other, but I didn’t know how serious you were.”
“I guess I’ve never forgotten him, and it turns out, he’s never forgotten me, either.”
“I know he’s my brother, so it’s kind of weird to think of him being in a romantic relationship and all that, but the fact it’s with you. Well, that makes me so happy. ”
“It makes me happy, too,” I reply, and she pulls me in for a hug.
“I’ve had a lot of soda, so I need to use the facilities,” she says as she gestures toward the stalls.
“Go right ahead.” I turn to look in the mirror and push my hair back from my face. Knowing I was going to be looked at when Dan inevitably blew me a kiss at the game tonight, Clara helped me apply some makeup. I’ve got mascara, eyeliner, and even managed some lip gloss—although that was well and truly kissed off by a certain Ice Breakers captain only moments ago.
“Who knows? You might be joining the family before too long,” Emmy calls out from one of the stalls.
I try not to let my heart leap at the thought, but she’s the second person to suggest such a thing in the last few minutes—the first being the man himself. So that’s exactly what my heart does: leap past the clouds, as high as Mount Rainier.
There’s some chatter outside the ladies’ before a girl explodes into the bathroom, followed by another in quick succession, filling the space with their laughter. I recognize them as a couple of the gorgeous women who’ve been attending each of the Ice Breakers games, wearing their cute outfits, complete with bunny ears tonight. Seriously, they look more like they belong in a Hugh Hefner nightclub than at a hockey after game party.
“Oh, it’s you,” says one of them, her smile dropping as her eyes land on me.
I’ve seen her around a bunch of times. From the Maple Fest, where she flirted with Dan at the signing table, to both the Ice Breakers games. She was one of the women who cornered Dan after the first game.
Mom always taught us that it’s better to make a friend rather than an enemy, so I smile at her and say, “Hi, I’m Keira.”
“Oh, I know who you are. We all do,” she replies, and her friend nods in agreement, her eyes sweeping over me—and finding me wanting. “You’re the girl who’s somehow managed to pin Dan Roberts down. ”
“Well, I’d hardly say I’ve pinned him down—” I begin to protest.
“Oh, you have, honey. Although how?” She sweeps her eyes over me once more. “I’m not so sure. Maybe Dan likes the mannish type?”
Her friend sniggers.
I press my lips together. I had to deal with catty comments from girls before when I was with Dan in high school. Mom always said they were only jealous, so I shouldn’t let them bother me. After all, she reasoned I had Dan and they didn’t.
The woman who looks like a walking Instagram filter leans on the counter beside me, peering in the mirror as she dabs on some more makeup to her already flawlessly made-up face. “The way I see it, Dan’s remembering what it was like to date you back in the day. He’ll have his little walk down memory lane and then come to his senses.” She turns to look at me. “A girl like you can’t hold on to a man like Dan Roberts for long.”
I open my mouth to respond, not even sure what I’m going to say. I’ve just become his girlfriend? He loves me? He’s never forgotten me?
All of it sounds ridiculous—because you know what? She’s probably right. Sure, Dan has feelings for me, but is it only because he’s back here in our hometown, remembering what it was like to be with me back in the day?
Is what we have actually real?
Will he leave me after the last game is played?
Am I enough for Dan Roberts, NHL star?
I can’t stop doubts bouncing around my mind like kids in a bouncy house.
“Come on. You can’t be that na?ve. Hockey players aren’t exactly known as one-woman guys. Well, maybe one woman a night.” She smirks at me as though she’s made a funny joke, when inside, my hopes are dropping like a lead balloon.
“Dan’s not like that,” I protest, lifting my chin in defiance.
She gives me a knowing look. “Really? How do you know? ”
I trust Dan, just as I did back in high school. He never said or did anything to make me feel otherwise. But it feels different now. Back then it was just the girls in our class. He made it clear to them that we were together, and he wasn’t interested.
I open my mouth to respond, but no words come out.
She gives me a self-satisfied smirk. “You know I’m right.”
The door to the ladies’ swings open, and Blair appears. She takes one look at my face, darts her gaze to the women, and asks, “Are these girls bothering you, Kiki?”
“They’re … uhh …,” I begin, but words seem to have deserted me.
She glares at the women.
“What’s with you?” asks the one who made me feel the size of a mouse.
Blair crosses her arms across her chest. “I could ask the exact same thing.”
Emmy appears at the door of one of the stalls. “They were being nasty to Kiki,” she says.
“I think you’ll find we were just pointing out some home truths to your girl here, so you can all just back off,” she replies.
“Why don’t you back off all the way out of this party?” Blair suggests. Well, it’s less of a suggestion and more of a threat from where I’m standing—and I could kiss her for it.
The woman bristles. “Oh, yeah? Who died and made you queen?”
Blair leans in closer to her, and says in a quiet and decidedly threatening tone, “I work in PR, and I know people. Influential people. People who could make or break anyone they want. So, I suggest you do as I say and leave this party before I feel inclined to call one of my friends.”
The girls share an uncertain look before Ms. Instagram Filter raises her chin in defiance. “You’re gonna make me?”
Blair nods. “I am.”
The girls share another look .
“Lana, let’s just go. It’s a dumb party, anyway,” the brunette says.
Lana throws me a final glare before both women turn on their heels and leave.
“Remind me never to cross you ,” Emmy says as she gives Blair a high five. “You were excellent!”
“All in a day’s work,” Blair replies with a smile. “You okay, Kiki?”
“Yeah, thanks,” I reply, although after what that woman just said to me, I’m very far from okay.
“You know I’ve always got your back,” Blair says.
“I do, too. Especially when it comes to women like that. Women who make themselves feel better by putting other women down,” Emmy says.
“Long live the sisterhood. Am I right?” Blair asks, and we all agree with her.
But Lana’s words have cut deep. I can’t hold onto a man like Dan. I can’t compete in his world, a world I know nothing about, a world so far removed from my life here in Maple Falls it may as well be on another planet.
As we return to the party, I know my mind is made-up. When the dust settles after the last game, when the team is gone, I’ll have my memories of how Dan and I shone bright one last time before he left town, destined once more for bigger and brighter things.