Chapter 21
Olivia
During Connor’s last appointment before Christmas break, Robbie kicked Olivia out of the exam room to talk to Connor privately.
She took the opportunity to watch the Freeze practice.
She’d always loved going to Connor’s practice as a kid.
She hadn’t skated in years. Watching Valentine and Beanie rib each other took her back to when she would dress in community goalie gear after hours and face shot after shot for Connor.
She would get tired and cold, and Connor would always say, “Let me get five more, then we can be done.”
The memory brought a soft smile to her lips. Connor’s team wrapped up, and when they were all headed off the ice, Valentine skated over to her.
“Hazy’s going to be a while. I heard the trainers had quite the plan for him today.”
Olivia frowned. “They won’t push him too much.”
A half-smile made Valentine’s dimple pop, and Olivia chastised herself for drooling.
He ran a hand through his sweaty blond hair and said, “You’d be surprised. You have time. Do you want to skate?”
Olivia chewed on her lip, torn between wanting to skate and not wanting to hold up Connor. She checked her watch. “Let me see how long he’ll be.”
Done soon?
He replied instantly.
Not even close. You can go. Lover will drive me home.
Olivia huffed an annoyed sigh. He couldn’t bend his knee enough to get into Valentine’s clown car. Sometimes Connor didn’t think.
It’s literally my job to be here. I’ll wait. You can’t get into Valentine’s monstrosity.
Valentine, who’d been snooping as Olivia typed, said, “Hey! My car is not a monstrosity. She’s gorgeous.” He bent to put a skate guard on as he stepped off the ice.
“Ew, don’t refer to your car as a she.”
“Isn’t your car named after the Grim Reaper?” Valentine poked Olivia’s arm.
She swatted him away and laughed. “Yes, but that’s different.”
“How is it different?”
Olivia didn’t know. It felt different, but she could be biased. She gave a one-shouldered shrug and asked, “Where can a girl find some skates around here?”
A few minutes later, they were heading onto the ice. Valentine held his hands out to steady Olivia, but she placed a hand on his chest to shove him out of the way. As he slid backward, she stepped onto the ice with sure feet, muscle memory taking over.
She tested the skates with long strokes against the ice that sent her flying around the rink. She heard Valentine approaching and flipped around to face him. It transitioned her into a backward skate, and he grinned at her.
“Where did you learn to skate like this?” he asked.
“I grew up with Connor.”
Valentine laughed. “Fair point. You’re pretty good. Want to race?”
Olivia had a fierce competitive spirit, but she refused to play games she couldn’t win.
“Do I want to race an NHL winger on ice skates when I haven’t stepped foot in a rink for over a decade? Uh. No. I do not want to do that.”
“Aw, c’mon,” he said. “I’m not that fast.”
Olivia tested some crossovers, loving being on the ice. Her cheeks ached from smiling.
“You’re one of the fastest skaters in the league. And I haven’t done cardio in a year.”
Valentine skated a circle around her. “What if I go backward?”
“I still have no chance.”
“Give yourself some credit; you’re a natural.”
“Ah, yes. A natural. Couldn’t be the years I spent keeping up with our bestie.”
“Well, it’s definitely that too.” Valentine circled her again, laughing.
He skated toward her, forcing her backward toward the end of the rink.
“What if we made it a bet?” he asked.
Olivia rolled her eyes but let herself be herded. “That’s even worse. No way am I winning.”
“It would be a win-win bet.”
“Oh yeah? What’s your win-win proposal then?”
His gaze focused on something over her shoulder.
When Olivia moved to look, he captured her chin with his hand.
Her heart skipped a beat, and she tried to lean into the feeling.
To feel attraction to someone other than Connor or Lance.
It had been so long since she’d had the freedom to appreciate a beautiful man.
And Valentine fit the bill. His boyishness starkly contrasted with Connor, who had turned all man in the few years they’d been separated.
Boyishness aside, he was still worth ogling.
She placed a hand on his chest to push him away, but his thumb grazing her bottom lip made her pause.
He leaned in, putting them almost nose-to-nose. “You’re going to race me from goal line to goal line. You go forward, I’ll skate backward. Winner gets to choose where we’re getting dinner Saturday night.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “Connor and I are leaving Friday night for Christmas with the Hales.”
His face melted into a charming grin. “When you get home then.”
Olivia, realizing his thumb was dangerously close to going into her mouth, shook herself out of her reverie and pulled his arm away from her face.
“Good luck getting Connor to agree. He’s picky as fuck.
” But she skated toward the red line, some compulsory part of her unwilling to back away from a challenge.
“Hazy’s not invited.”
Her muscles froze, but she still glided toward the end of the rink. “Oh.”
“Is that okay?” Valentine asked.
Was it okay? Connor had warned her away from Valentine. The man had never been in a relationship. Long-term, she wanted something serious. Valentine was hot, though. It might be fun to see where things went as she pursued other options.
She pressed a cold hand against her warm cheek and got set on the red line.
“Yeah. I’d like that.” She bent her knees, ready to take off at a second’s notice.
“Great, it’s a date!” Valentine said as he took his place next to her. “Ready, set, go!”
Olivia took off fast, but Valentine beat her to the opposite goal line by a good margin. She placed her hands on her knees to catch her breath and said, “Oh, fuck you,” while he did his victory celebration.
She circled the net and caught a glimpse of Connor sitting on a bench with his leg propped on a chair. He waved her over. She headed his way, and Valentine skated next to her.
“Where are we going to dinner?” she asked.
“It’s a surprise.”
Olivia hadn’t been home for Christmas in years. She’d spent the last several years sitting by Lance’s side while he showed her off to his cold, conservative family.
The first year she’d shown up as herself in a sparkly gold sleeveless dress, her hair dyed a festive deep green, septum piercing on full display, excited to meet the family she’d be marrying into.
She hadn’t repeated the mistake. By her second Christmas with them Lance had tamed her into a version of herself that his mother found acceptable.
It was a relief to be in Christina’s house for Christmas.
Her dad’s house had never been home, and though he lived right next door, Olivia had no plans to visit him.
She’d considered it for half a second before she spied him through the guest room window, taking a swig out of a whiskey bottle before getting behind the wheel of the same dilapidated truck he’d been driving since Olivia was eight.
Christina and Mark Hale’s house was the closest thing she had to a home.
Regardless of the hominess, Olivia was intruding on their family holiday.
It had taken Connor weeks to convince her to join him for Christmas, and he’d only succeeded by agreeing to keep it secret from everyone, including Jayden.
She hated lying to her brother, but dealing with relatives who only had negative things to say to her wasn’t worth her time, and if she told him she’d be around, he would insist on her attending every family event.
They’d gotten in late the night before Christmas Eve and had miraculously snuck in and gotten settled for the evening without waking Christina and Mark.
Olivia’s rest didn’t last long. Unable to stop tossing and turning, she abandoned a good night’s sleep and decided to enjoy the atmosphere while she could.
She brushed her teeth, tossed her hair into a bun, and slipped into the Christmas pajamas Christina laid out on the guest room bed for her.
She didn’t bother to take out her piercings or apply makeup like she would have for Lance’s family.
In the dark, silent hours of the early morning, the glow of the Christmas tree lit the living room. Olivia made herself a cup of Christmas chai and sat cross-legged on the couch. She stared at the tree, allowing peace and happiness to wash over her.
Nobody in her life taught her as much as Christina Hale.
As she took in her familiar surroundings, a sense of nostalgia hit her so deep it ached.
The tree was decorated with the same ornaments that had adorned it for twenty years.
The gifts were all wrapped in shiny red paper with silver bows.
A digital picture frame on one end table cycled through photo after photo of the Hale family on Christmas morning, all the way from Christina and Mark holding a tiny baby, to Connor with adorable missing front teeth, to the awkward adolescent years when Jayden and Olivia joined them, to adult Connor sitting on the floor in reindeer pjs grinning up at his mom with sparkles in his eyes.
Olivia sniffled and swiped at stray tears, so lost in her own world she failed to notice when someone joined her.
She startled when Christina grabbed her mug from her.
She set it on the end table and wrapped an arm around Olivia.
Olivia leaned into the embrace and wordlessly snuggled closer, laying her head in Christina’s lap.
The woman Olivia considered her true mother stroked her hair.
“I’ve missed you,” she said.
“I’ve missed you too,” Olivia whispered.
“Christmas without you these last few years has been hard. It’s never complete.”
“Trust me, my last few Christmases have been anything but complete.” Olivia chuckled at the understatement and wiped the last of her tears away, safe and comfortable in Christina’s arms.
“Hmm.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Christina spoke again. “How are you doing, honey?”
Olivia didn’t know how to answer. She wasn’t doing great. But spending time with Connor and his friends made her the happiest she’d been in a long time.
“I’m okay, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Yeah. I’m doing okay emotionally. But logistically, my life is a mess.”
Christina chuckled. “Logistically, life is always a mess.”
“My life is a bit messier than most.”
“What makes you think so?”
“Nothing new. All the same stuff I’ve been dealing with for months. Plus, I’m going to have to find a new job soon. Connor’s healing so fast.”
“Have you told him that? He’s been cranky about his recovery.” Christina tucked a stray strand of hair behind Olivia’s ear.
“He’s dramatic. You should have seen the fit he threw when Robbie told him he couldn’t ditch his cane yet. It was like a toddler’s temper tantrum.”
“Unsurprising.”
They fell into a silence again, and Olivia stared at the glittering Christmas tree, willing the blurriness to clear.
Christina broke the silence. “I’ve heard you’ve been going out a lot. Good for you, sweetheart.”
Olivia slapped a hand over her eyes, mortified. She’d been on five first dates since she’d downloaded all those apps, and they had all been horrible. She would never find someone to love.
“Oh my God, please tell me Connor hasn’t been airing out my dating woes.”
“He seems frustrated on your behalf.”
Tears pooled in her eyes again, and Olivia groaned. “He makes me crazy.”
“I know, hon.”
“Life would be much easier if the men who are actually interested in me made me feel the way he does.” Olivia twisted in Christina’s lap so she could see her face.
Christina offered her a sad smile. “I thought he would figure it out by now. I’m sorry he hasn’t.”
Olivia sighed and swallowed the lump in her throat. “It’s not meant to be, and that’s okay. I can’t keep waiting on him.”
“But you love him.”
“I always have, and I always will.” Olivia waved a hand in the general direction of the Christmas tree and family photos.
“But I want this. I want what you have. A beautiful life with a beautiful family. Decades of happy memories and quiet Christmas mornings with my kids. A husband who would go to the ends of the earth for me if I simply asked.”
“I want that for you too, honey.”
“He doesn’t see me as wife material.” Olivia forced a half-hearted shrug.
Christina gave a sad sigh and tangled her fingers into Olivia’s bun, massaging her scalp.
“Is it selfish that I wanted to keep you? I always thought you’d be my daughter someday.
I hate that some other mom out there will get to be your kids’ grandma and will get to fill your stocking and get updates about your life and work and dreams.”
Olivia struggled into a seated position and gathered Christina into a tight hug.
“For all intents and purposes, you are my mom. Someday Connor will have a beautiful spouse you adore, but you can always have updates on my life and my work and my kids and my dreams.”