Chapter 28
Hazy
Less than an hour into game night, Hazy wanted to kick everyone except Livy out of his house. He hadn’t seen her for more than a few minutes all week.
Between his training, attending home games, physical therapy, and her job hunting, dates with Lover, and evenings spent at Jake’s place doing who knew what, they were like ships passing in the night.
She sat across from him at the fancy dining room table he’d paid way too much money for, considering the use it got. Lover had a possessive arm around her, as usual. It fueled Hazy’s irrational anger.
He might not be as upset if they bothered to include him.
They were his people. His snuggle buddies.
And he was pathetic for a good cuddle. He tried to ignore the jealousy.
To be happy for them. Truly, they deserved the world.
It would have been nice if they hadn’t insisted on taking his world, but he’d give them both up in a heartbeat if it meant they got to live happily ever after. Even if it killed him.
An elbow to his bicep tugged him out of his own head.
“It’s your turn,” Dylan said.
Hazy examined the dozen colorful cards in his hands. None matched the top of the discard pile.
“Fuck,” he said, drawing from the top of the deck.
He drew and drew and drew, all the while muttering about his poor luck and sparking laughter around the table before he got a green card he could play.
Toma, Beanie, Daisy, Dylan, Roxie, Jake, Livy, and Lover sat around the table, working through their fifth round of cards.
Jake laid a card on the discard pile and yelled, “Uno!”
His declaration met a chorus of moans and groans. The fucker had won three times.
“There’s no way you aren’t cheating,” Lover complained.
“He is hiding cards,” Toma said.
Daisy laughed. “Shake out your sleeves right now.”
Jake dropped his hands to his sides and shimmied, shaking his sleeves. He pushed the cuffs of his sweatshirt up and showed off his tattooed forearms. “I don’t have to cheat. It’s all luck, baby!”
Roxie grimaced as she played her card. “I can’t do anything about it.”
Toma followed suit, then Beanie, then Daisy.
Livy piled a plus two onto the discard pile.
“Finally, something might get him!” Lover said, adding another plus two.
Hazy shuffled through his mountain of cards, coming up empty on a card that would add to the draw count instead of sticking him with it again.
Dylan stacked yet another plus two card on the pile.
Hazy hung his head and drew the six cards. He wasn’t even lucky enough to draw something special. He laid down a normal number card.
Jake pumped his fist in the air and slammed his last card onto the pile.
Beanie gathered the cards and shuffled them.
“I’ll be back,” Hazy said, excusing himself to the restroom.
He bypassed the bathroom altogether and slipped out the sliding glass door in his bedroom. The cool air was a balm to his overheated skin. The house got way too fucking hot when there were so many people. He sat at the patio table and buried his head in his arms, disappointed in himself.
The people inside loved him. They wanted to spend time with him. They’d taken time out of their own schedules to show up at his house with food, games, and conversation. And he was hiding in the fucking backyard because he was jealous over who Livy spent her time with.
A few weeks ago she’d been fully his. Something he didn’t have to share with the other people in his life. But now they knew her. And loved her more than him.
He raised his head and cursed at himself as he checked out his surroundings. His backyard felt desolate these days. He hated when the winter weather barred him from enjoying his favorite spot.
Livy likely wouldn’t spend the summer in the outdoor space with him.
When she moved in, he hoped maybe he’d get around to building that treehouse after all.
But Lover would give her everything she’d always wanted.
He should be happy for them. And he should also be reveling in everyone he loved being in one room together, talking and laughing and having fun. But he hated it.
He felt lacking. Like he wasn’t quite enough for any one of them. Like no matter how hard he tried, or what he provided, or how much love he gave, they would never need him.
His teammates performed better without him than they had with him.
Dylan no longer required a babysitter. Lover, who’d been his ride or die for years, didn’t need him now.
He had Livy for nights out, cuddles, and inside jokes.
And Livy. She needed him least of all. She had Lover.
And Jake, the other best friend he didn’t know she’d replaced him with during those awkward years.
The years he’d wasted when he disregarded her feelings.
He was such a fucking asshole.
The sliding of the glass doors interrupted his self-loathing. He sighed and faced the intruder.
“Are you okay?” Lover asked, taking the seat next to him.
“I’m fine,” Hazy said. “Just hot.”
“It is hot in there,” he said, scooting his chair closer to Hazy until their thighs pressed together.
Hazy leaned into the touch. He rested his head on Lover’s shoulder.
“We can all clear out if you aren’t feeling good,” he said.
“I’m not sick or anything,” Hazy reassured him, trying to be the best host possible in the midst of his meltdown.
“I don’t like when you’re sad,” Lover whispered.
“That makes two of us.”
They sat in silence for longer than was comfortable before Lover asked, “Hey, you know those dresses you got Livy?”
Hazy’s shoulders tensed, but he said, “Yeah.”
“Can you send me the website? She loves them.”
Hazy pulled away from Lover and barked out a humorless laugh. “You can cool it on the gifts.”
“I like having someone to buy gifts for,” Lover said.
“Yeah, I can tell. You’ve delivered a zillion packages here every day.”
“Flowers and coffee don’t count as packages.”
“She doesn’t need presents every day. You’re going to overwhelm her.”
Hurt painted Lover’s face, and Hazy wanted to take his words back.
“She said that?” he asked.
Hazy sighed. “No, but gifts make her uncomfortable.”
“You bought her dresses and a giant ass box of beauty products she’ll never use. And she lives in your house. Why can you get her things and I can’t?”
Running a hand through his hair, Hazy blew out a sigh and said, “She doesn’t like it when I do it either. But I’ve earned the right with twenty years of friendship. She knows I don’t expect or want anything in return.”
“I’m her partner. My gifts don’t come with strings either.”
“Is that what you are, then? Partners?”
“I think so, yeah. I’m not seeing anyone else. Is she?”
“Bro, that’s a conversation you’ll need to have with her. And if you are exclusive, it’s still new. She might feel obligated to keep seeing you—or sleep with you—if you don’t knock it off.”
Lover glared at him. “Do you hear yourself right now?”
“What?” he asked, confused where Lover’s sudden annoyance came from.
“How could you even imply I would buy her things to get her to sleep with me?”
“That’s not what I meant.” Anxiety spiked through him. He wanted to be helpful. Not accuse Lover of treating Livy like a prostitute.
“It’s what you said.” Lover stood up, standing over Hazy as he talked.
“I know you would never do that.”
“Maybe you should remember who I am when you speak to me. Because I know you think better of me. And I know for a fact that I have never made Olivia feel that way. I’m not going to stop treating my girlfriend like the queen she is to make you feel special.
It’s fucked up for you to claim ownership over gift-giving.
And you should spend some time thinking about why you’re so worried about it.
” Lover stomped his way into the house, leaving Hazy staring after him.