Chapter 16 Mile Sixteen #2
“SPUB?” I scrunch my nose.
“Catherine and Kayla said to not forget the SPUB you promised.”
SPUB? What on earth are… My eyes widen. I will kill them both! Did they really put into a group chat with Garrett and my brother for me to wear the sexy push-up bra I joked about earlier?
“Nothing… Inside joke.” Clearing my throat, I slip my phone into my bag. “You really don’t need to drive me home tonight. I can take the bus, so you have time to get ready. I’m sure Anker has thoughts about your belt and shoe pairing.”
“Nah… I’m good.” He grabs my cane from the corner and hands it to me.
“I’ll drive you home, so you have plenty of time, and then we can head there together.
Plus, if I go straight home, I’ll have a crabby cat to contend with.
Ditka enjoys his run of the house, but gets fussy if I dip in and out.
He either wants me there or gone. There’s no in-between with him. ”
“Oh, Ditka.”
The logistics of getting dolled up in a studio apartment while Garrett sits on my sofa gives me pause as I stand in front of my closet.
Grabbing the dress I plan to wear is fine, but how to stealthily gather up the sexy push-up bra and matching panties is something I didn’t foresee when I said, “Come on up and hang out, while I get ready.” Scooping everything into my arms, I shuffle into the bathroom.
Stripping off my work clothes, I toss them into the hamper.
I tug on the black dress over my lacy red push-up bra and panties.
The irony of changing into this behind a closed door, mere feet away from a man I both want to and am horrified at the idea of seeing me in, sends heat crawling up my neck.
It’s a simple, but sexy, scoop-neck black dress that hugs my breasts but flows out in an A-line skirt that stops at my knees.
Its flowy bell sleeves offer a bit of whimsy like a princess from a fairytale.
I leave my hair loose, fluff it a bit, and slip in a pair of gold chandelier earrings I bought on the ladies’ trip.
I swipe red lip stain—also a purchase made on my trip based on Kayla’s recommendation of how it popped against my fair skin—and stand in front of the mirror for just a moment.
The bright bulbs offer enough light to take in my image.
It’s fuzzy, but pretty. At least, that’s how I feel.
Maybe it’s just the pretty feeling inside me right now.
Today feels like another mile marker on this journey I’m on.
Tonight is about celebrating Catherine, but a little bit of me will be selfishly celebrating my own success. Even if I’m the only one who knows.
Sliding into the gold heels that match my earrings, I take a deep breath and step out of the bathroom. “Do you need to freshen up before we head out. Perhaps, a spritz of perfume, or I can lend you some lipstick. I think pink is your color,” I sass.
“Funny,” he grunts, rising and turning to face me. “Fuuuuck… Pretty...”
“Ah…” The breath wooshes out of me.
“I mean”—he rubs the back of his head—“you look pretty. I’m sure our fashion police friends will approve.”
“Thank you,” is all I can say through the erratic thump of my heart. All the warning bells are going off. I’m getting way too close to this fire, and it will consume me if I don’t say something. If I don’t say what I want. “Garrett…” Swallowing thickly, I cross the room to stand in front of him.
“Yeah.” He steps closer.
The air crackles between us with possibility.
The possibility of me closing the distance, smudging my lipstick with a claiming kiss.
To know what his lips would feel like against mine.
To feel his strong hands roam down my body as he pulls me flush against him.
To be late for dinner because we’re too busy feasting on one another.
It’s all there, but so is the blinking red sign warning of heartbreak.
“Sunset is at around 5:20 p.m.,” I whisper.
“What?” His murmur is bemused.
“And I get off work around four thirty. I’m thinking that on non-training nights, I should start taking the bus again. It will be good for me to get back in the habit… You’ve been so kind, and I don’t want to keep taking advantage.”
“You’re not…” he rasps. “You don’t have to—”
“But I want to.”
The only thing I want more than how I’m starting to want Garrett, is to not break my own heart. If the pain of Val stops him from even talking about what happened, he’s not ready for what I want from him.
I’m sure Dr. Nor would challenge me on this.
“How do you know he’s not ready, if you don’t ask for what you want?
” The dangerous hope simmering inside me also whispers that.
But I don’t want to ask that out of fear of finding out that I’m not what he wants.
As much as I want this man, I don’t want to lose him.
Even if all I have is just his friendship.
“I’m so grateful for you. For everything.
Please know this isn’t about me not appreciating you, or enjoying…
” Nodding, I take a step back. “Plus, I know you sneak back to the hospital most nights. This way, you don’t have to do that.
You can just stay there to do what you need to do before you go home. ”
He looks down and then back at me. “Will you let me know when you get home on those nights?”
“Yes. I promise.”
“Training. Dark. Raining,” he says quickly.
“What?”
He lets out a breath. “Can I drive you home on training nights, when it’s dark, and when it rains?”
“Okay,” I murmur, trying to ignore that whispered hope that maybe the Southern California drought will end, and the rain will come. It’s dangerous to hope for it, but I am, and that makes me fear that Past Jensen may still be lurking around.