Chapter 22 Mile Twenty-Two
MILE TWENTY-TWO
READY?
This is torture! Arms wrapped around my middle, Garrett kisses along my neck as I attempt to unlock my front door.
My entire body is coiled so tight that I may split apart if I don’t get release.
The sensation of his hands slipping beneath my jacket and the press of his rigid length against my backside reiterates his own desperation.
“You’re very distracting.” Head lolled back, I moan as he drags his hands up my front, palming my breasts over my clothing.
His low hum is wicked against my neck. “If you think that’s distracting—” He pulls my jacket down to my elbows, glides his hands to my dress’s zipper, and with slow, taunting movements, drags it halfway down.
“How’s this for a distraction?” Kissing between my shoulder blades, he unclasps my bra and then slides his hands into my dress.
“Oh god.” I bite back my little whimper when he tweaks my nipples.
“How’s the door coming?”
“If you’d behave, I could concentrate.” I rub my backside against his hardness. His sudden hiss causes my mouth to curl into a devilish smile.
The last hour—between the show and our trip back to my apartment—has been filled with us torturing each other. It’s delicious, and has me riddled with frustration.
“Got it,” I rasp, with the click of the door unlocking.
“Thank god,” he groans, lifting me into his arms the moment I open the door and carrying me in.
“You really are a little bit of an alpha, aren’t you?” I sass.
“Oh, pretty girl, I may be the one carrying you, but never forget you’re the one with all the power here.” He kicks my door shut and carries me fully into my apartment before depositing me in front of my sofa.
He’s being playful, but I don’t want power over him, or for him to have power over me. Even though I know we both do. We can hurt. We can care for.
“I think we both have the power here.” I cradle his cheek.
“Are you ready for this?” He combs his fingers into my hair.
After all we’ve already done, it might seem silly to be nervous.
Even if every single cell within me ignites for this man’s touch, this is more than that.
This solidifies what’s been happening between us.
Each moment together over the last five years has led us here.
It’s like running. The build is the longest part, but when you get there… it’s glorious.
Nodding, I place my folded cane below the coffee table. “Yes…” I slip my jacket off and hang it on the sofa’s arm. “You?”
“No,” he breathes.
“We don’t have to.”
“No.” He swipes his hands down my cheek in gentle strokes. “In so many ways, I’m not ready for you, but I want this. I want you. It’s been a long time since I wanted someone this much.”
“Me too,” I murmur.
Though that is a lie. I can’t remember ever wanting someone in this way. It hurts and soothes in a way that is both comfort and torment.
“I’ve been with other women since Val died,” he says softly.
“I know.” I swallow down the worry that I may not live up to the other women he’s been with.
It’s not a secret. Anker has mentioned that Garrett has had a few understandings, but never a relationship beyond that.
“This isn’t that.” He brushes his thumb along my jawline. “I need you to understand that. This isn’t just two people scratching an itch or me dipping my toe into something. This is more.”
“I know.”
And I really do know. This isn’t false bluster. Even if I worry I may not live up to the experiences he’s had with other women, I want this as much as he does.
Reaching out, I place my hand on his chest. My palm flexes with each beat of his heart. “You remember what to say if something is too much?”
“Turnip.” His heart gallops. “And you remember what to say, too?” Taking my hips, he pulls me close.
“Turnip,” I say saucily.
“Good.” He drags my zipper down the rest of the way and steps away from me, allowing the dress to slide down my body. “Undress but, baby, keep the shoes on.”
With the lick of my lips, I step out of the dress.
Spinning my back to him, I slide my bra off and toss it on top of my dress.
Blowing a kiss over my shoulder at him, I wiggle out of my panties.
Dropping them atop the growing heap, I brush my hair behind my ears as I turn.
It’s not the first time that he’s seen me like this, but the scorch of his gaze over my skin makes it feel as if I’m an undiscovered country for him to explore.
The wildfire erupting inside me from the desire radiating from this man surges my confidence. My past insecurities are silent. I’ve never felt so sexy or powerful with a man. Not power over him, but power in myself.
“Look at you, pretty girl.”
“You like what you see?” I ask, my voice husky. “Do you like this?” I trace my fingertip over my mouth in the shape of an O.
“Yes.”
I drag my hands down my neck, over my collarbone, and palm my breasts. “How about these?” A soft whine escapes with each roll and pinch of my taut peaks.
“Yes.”
“And—” Sauntering to the sofa, I sit, and spread my legs wide. “What about this?” I slide my finger down my pussy’s slick center.
“I fucking like it all.”
Need twists deep in my core. All I want is for him to plunge inside me and end this throbbing ache. It doesn’t need to be slow and sensual. I just want him to take me hard, fast, and deep.
“Yeah?” I press languid circles against my clit and let out a soft moan. “Show me how much you like it all.”
He prowls close. “But I’m enjoying this.”
“Wouldn’t you enjoy it more if this were you?” I slide a finger inside myself.
Placing his arms on either side of me, he hovers over me. “But it is. Those may be your fingers, but I know it’s me you’re pretending is pumping into that sweet little cunt.”
My belly clenches. I release an unintelligible whimper that somehow combines the words god, fuck, and oh.
“You like that? You like when I talk dirty to you?” he says, his mouth scant inches from my ear. “When you listen to your erotic audios, do they sound like me?”
“Yes.”
“Just as I thought.” He takes my earlobe between his teeth and bites gently. “And it’s me that you think about when you listen to them? When you touch yourself?”
“Yes,” I whine, pushing a second finger inside of me.
“Some men would be jealous of that.” He skates his nose down my neck. “But those audios just whetted your appetite for me, didn’t they?”
“Yes.”
“It’s my cock you want inside you.”
“Yes,” I pant, pressure curling tight at my center.
“Then be a good girl and fuck yourself with your fingers like it is me,” he growls.
I’ve never lost myself like this. The fantasy and reality twine together in a visceral experience.
My body wound tight from both his words and my touch.
It’s as if he’s the one deep inside me instead of hovering over me, his arms caging me in and the heat of his stare locked on me tipping me closer.
“Skin all pink. Eyes glossy. Brow sweat-kissed. You’re so close, aren’t you?”
“So close…” I cry, the crank turning tighter.
“Crook your fingers inside your cunt, pretty girl.” His low bass rumbles through me.
And with that, I break. The orgasm slams into me with the force of a freight train. My body shudders around my shaking fingers.
“That’s my girl.” He drinks up my moans in a deep kiss. “Let me have a taste.” He guides my fingers into his mouth.
The satiation that dripped along my veins is gone. Needs spools tight as he sucks my fingers clean.
“Not enough.” He lowers to his knees in front of me, hooking my legs over his shoulders. “More,” he growls before burying his face at my center.
He’s greedy for me—consuming me in indulgent licks and sucks. As much as he takes, he gives. I am both wanton and fulfilled with the way he drinks me up.
“Oh!” I fall back against the couch, release crashing through me.
Kissing my forehead, he scoops me up and carries me to the bed.
Sated, I relax against him. This man can say depraved things and coax out the brazen side of me, a side I’ve only explored in my fantasies, but still wrap me in tenderness with how he holds me. With him, I don’t have to be just one thing, and neither does he.
Once he deposits me on the bed, I slip my glasses off while he begins to undress. He places several condom packets on the bedstand beside my glasses. Grinning, I touch each packet, counting out loud.
“Eight condoms… Someone has plans.”
He grabs a packet and opens it. “So many plans.”
“Wait—” I skate my hands up his muscular thighs and grip his shaft, “—I thought the plan was for you to fuck my mouth and then my pussy.”
“Fuuuuck.” He places his hand on my cheek. “If you put your mouth on me, I’m going to lose it.”
“Isn’t that the point?” I purr.
“Yes, but the next time I come, I want to do it in your cunt.”
Rising to my knees, I encircle his neck. “Technically, it will be in a condom inside my cunt,” I say saucily.
“Ha!” He huffs a laugh. “How do you want me to fuck you, funny girl?”
“Pretty girl.” I poke him. “I’ve not had a lot of experience and…”
Reminiscent of a determined mosquito, old insecurities buzz awake.
This isn’t one of my spicy audiobooks or erotic audios.
Sex. Relationships. I’m so unpracticed. He may be navigating a relationship with me after losing a great love, but I’ve never even experienced the flimsy, fleeting kind of love.
“I don’t want to disappoint you.” My admission is quiet.
“Hey…” He presses a gentle kiss. “You are already a dream I didn’t let myself have, but somehow still got lucky enough to have.”
“I’m so new at all this,” I confess, emotion thick in my throat.
He strokes against my cheek. “Me too, but we can learn to walk together.”
“But you’ve done this.”
“Not with you.”
Those words hang between us. He’s been with other women. He was married. He had this entire life before me. But that was then, and this is now. It’s just like what he’d said tonight to Miles; that was his past, I’m his now.
“We don’t have to—”
“I want to,” I say.
“Jensen, we—”
“Garrett, I want to.” Even if I worry that I’ll make a mess of this, every bit of me still wants to run this race.
“We’ll go slow. Listen to your body and do what feels good. Use your words to tell me what you like, and don’t. You say turnip and we stop. Got it?”
“Yes.”
“Good… I promise, I’ll take care of you, but we’ll stop when you say.”
“I know you will.” I look up at him, my heart so full that the emotion filling it drips along my veins.
With one last kiss, he steps back and rolls on the condom. Then, he slides onto the bed and sits up against the headboard.
“Come here, pretty girl,” he whispers.
I crawl to him. Taking my waist, he guides me to straddle him.
“This way you can control how much you want to take.” He eases me down onto him.
I hiss with the burn as my body stretches to make room for him. I know how big he is, but it didn’t hit me until now. The fullness may twinge dully, but pleasure courses in tandem with the slight pain.
Placing my hands atop his on my hips, I rock in a slow rhythm. A delicious pressure replaces the twinge with each rock. Back bowing, I take him deeper. Each inch sparks my nerve endings awake, causing pleasure to pulse within me.
“You’re doing so good.” He moves under me.
“Thanks… I want—need—more,” I moan, grinding against him.
“How’s this?” He arches his hips, plunging into me.
“God!” I cry, my nails digging into his shoulders.
Chest heaving, he holds me in place. “You okay?” He runs his hands down my naked body.
“Better than okay.” I wiggle just a bit, electricity zings with the feel of him filling me.
“Good.” He drags his palms down my folded legs. Tapping my shoes, amusement plays in his expression. “I do like your new red shoes.”
“Me too.” I brush my nose against his.
In lazy caresses, he strokes his hands along my sides. Neither of us moves. It’s the closest I’ve ever felt to another human. We’re not rushing to the end. We’re reveling in this connection. In how good this feels to be tethered to one another—not just with our bodies.
Despite the full sensation, my body hums for more. To have every inch of me experience every inch of him. I pull up just a bit and then slam back down on him, causing both of us to cry, “Fuck.”
“You like that?” I murmur and repeat the action.
“Yes,” he moans.
Our gentle pace becomes harder and faster.
My blood almost sings with each note he hits inside me.
Any lingering anxiety about not knowing what I’m doing is washed away.
Not just in how good this feels, but thanks to the pleasure his moans assure me he is experiencing.
The quickening thrust of his hips up into me. His fingers biting into me.
“Baby… I’m going…” he rasps.
“O-kay.”
“Are you…close?” He curls his hands around my ass, urging me on.
“Almost.” I slip my finger between my legs and massage my clit, tipping myself over the edge.
He shudders. “Fuck, Jensen.”
Falling against him, his arms wrap tightly around me. We just hold each other through our mutual climax. The aftershocks rippling through us. The gasping breaths. The tumbling back to reality. A reality where that just happened, and it’s going to happen again.