Chapter Twenty-One
The luncheon in the banquet hall that day was sparsely attended.
Only four women remained, and they could hardly move as the Martians around them vied for their attention.
In the bathroom, Vivian found a brief respite from the suffocating atmosphere, lingering at the sink to let the cold water from the gilded faucet flow through her fingers.
“You’re supposed to conserve the water, you know.” Felicia met her eyes in the bathroom mirror. “And you’ll dry out your skin with all that washing.”
“Thanks.” Vivian turned off the faucet. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
Felicia washed her own hands with brisk efficiency. “I hate this limbo we’re in right now.”
“Why not get it over with then? Any one of them out there would jump at the chance to marry you.”
Felicia fiddled with one of her long microbraids. “I guess … after seeing Camille fall so hard for Theo … I hoped that might happen for me.” She shook herself. “But it’s not going to. Viv, have you spoken to Delilah lately?”
“A week ago.”
“Camille is worried sick about her, but Delilah refuses to talk. I don’t think she’s meshing well with Mitzi King.”
Vivian’s chest gave a painful spasm. “She didn’t want to tell me anything about it either.” And what could she do? It was too late. Delilah was pregnant with Mitzi’s child, and the payment had been sent to her parents. “How’s Camille?”
“Better now. She had a kidney stone, and fuck, Viv, it was awful. She was screaming and crying, and the pain meds they gave her didn’t do shit.
They said no morphine until she’s out of the first trimester.
Dr. Chavez thinks that because she had one so early, she’s going to get them the whole pregnancy.
” Felicia bit her lip. “Honestly, that’s why I’m still here.
I’m fucking scared. I don’t do so well with pain. ”
“I’m scared too,” Vivian admitted.
Felicia reached out and gripped Vivian’s hand. “We’re a sisterhood, right? We’ll get through this together.”
Vivian nodded. “Still better than Louisiana?”
“Anything is better than Louisiana.” Felicia linked her arm through Vivian’s. “C’mon, let’s be scared together.”
In the arching long hallway returning from the bathrooms, they were stopped by Ren. “Ah, Vivian, I was hoping for a moment alone with you, if you’ll permit it.”
Felicia disentangled her arm from Vivian’s and murmured, “Good luck, honey,” before gliding away.
Vivian fixed a bland smile on her face. Her stomach clenched. Here it comes.
“I’d like to ask if you’ve made a decision about selecting a husband?”
Vivian felt Xavier’s letter, tucked into her dress against her breast, and then dropped her hand. “Not yet. I still have ten days.”
“I think I could be good for you,” Ren said earnestly. “If you’d have me. The Nakamura Estate is comfortable, and my position on the Council gives me considerable influence and power. Our children would be well cared for and have access to an excellent education.”
“You don’t love me,” Vivian stated.
I love you against my will and my reason.
Ren stroked his beard. “I—forgive me. I was not aware you were seeking a love match.”
Vivian gave a despairing little laugh. “I’m not.
That would be ridiculous.” She closed her eyes and then opened them.
“Thank you.” She took a deep breath. She should accept him.
He was the best option. She had to be sensible.
But the moment she did, her life would change.
“I cannot give you an answer today. Will you be patient with me?”
He bowed to her. “I will.”
When she returned home, she went to her bedroom and pulled off her wide-brimmed hat and heavy earrings. She paced the length of the room, back and forth. The bedroom had seemed so spacious when she’d first arrived, but now the number of strides from one end to the other was all too brief.
Grabbing her reader, Vivian stepped outside. She walked the wide sidewalks of their walled compound. The grounds were quiet and empty—nearly ready for the next cohort of young Earther women willing to risk it all on the promise of a better future.
Vivian sank to the ground and lay her fine periwinkle silk dress down in the creeping thyme. She breathed in the sharp lemony scent and stared at the orange sky. She thought of the layers encircling her.
The confining dress.
The high walls.
The solid dome.
The signed contract.
She opened her reader to An Introduction to Martian Law and navigated, for the first time, to “Prologue,” by Counselor Xavier Dorsey.
Mars is a society of contradictions. We’ve rejected democracy as a failed form of governance in favor of a system that enables Martian sovereignty.
All of us, Marsborn and Earthborn alike, work together to ensure Mars is a self-reliant system where every individual is entitled to fundamental rights.
Our founders accurately characterized Mars as a great unfinished experiment. The inherent contradiction between Martian Collective Sovereignty and a hereditary ruling class makes the Mars we know today an imperfect system.
Vivian continued reading. Xavier wrote in the bold decisive way that he talked. She had to look up fewer words as she read now, she realized. She easily followed his ideas.
We live in a cold, inhospitable world rendered habitable with scientific advancement, shared accountability, and hard work.
But we are no longer a group of scientists and adventurers scrambling for mere survival.
Today, we are an established, prosperous, and growing society.
Together, let us reach for a higher standard: a world where all people have freedom, dignity, and the right to make their own choices and determine their own destinies.
Vivian’s finger hovered over the last sentence.
Choice. At every step in this process, she’d been given the illusion of choice.
But it was a lie. She’d never had choices.
The choice between celibacy and pregnancy in the camps hadn’t been a true choice.
And now, the choice between which wealthy Martian man would be by her side as she endured three painful pregnancies wasn’t much of a choice.
What Vivian wanted was control over her own body. She wanted the ability to seek sexual pleasure without fear. To become a mother at the time and place of her choosing, or not at all. She wanted the ability to support her parents’ escape without sacrificing her own freedom.
She wanted Mars to be better than Earth.
Vivian wanted more.