Chapter 64 Reed
REED
Henn gives me a choice between his two proffered drinks. When I pick the gin and tonic, he sits across from me with the vodka soda. “You’re not planning to join the party today at all?”
“It’s for the best. I can’t imagine anyone wants me walking around, scaring all the little kiddies. Have you made any progress on hacking the football coach yet?”
Henn looks annoyed. “When would I have worked on that for you, since the last time you asked me about it—which was last night, at your party, when I was shitfaced?”
“I think I’m going crazy, Henn. I can’t stand the fact that he’s out in the world, living his best life, and not suffering at all for what he did to Georgie.
She was seventeen. He was her teacher. She trusted him.
” Georgina’s words as she screamed at me last night slam into me, yet again: I trusted you, Reed!
And, once again, my heart twists painfully.
I whisper, “I swear, if I could take a hit out on this guy, and know I wouldn’t get caught, I’d do it. ”
Henn rolls his eyes. “Okay, I’m ninety-nine percent sure you’re not stupid enough to start searching the dark web for a hired killer.
But just in case: don’t do it. You will get caught.
And from what I’ve heard about prison, you wouldn’t like it.
No Egyptian cotton bedsheets and the veggies, if you get them at all, come from a can.
” He sighs sympathetically. “I’ll get into his devices, okay?
And when I do, the odds are high I’ll find something we can use to sink him. ”
“But, see, I don’t want ‘high’ odds. I want a guarantee.”
“If that’s code for ‘I want you to plant evidence,’ then fuck off. You know I’d never do that. Will you please just trust me? I’m amazing at what I do. Let me do my thing and stop acting like Tony Soprano.”
I lean back in my chair. “I have to do something with this manic energy. If I don’t focus it on taking down Gates, then I’ll have no choice but to focus on what a fucking idiot I am. And I don’t want to think about that. I can’t believe this is a self-inflicted wound.”
Henn looks sympathetic. “What, exactly, did you do? I’m so confused. One minute, you were making breakfast for Georgina and telling me she’s breakfast-worthy. And the next thing I know, Hannah is telling me Georgina stormed out of the party, looking distraught over something you did.”
Midway through Henn’s comment, Josh walks up, holding his one-year-old, Jack.
“You’re talking about Georgina?” He looks at me.
“What happened?” He settles himself into a chair.
“I don’t get it. One minute, you were cannonballing into the pool and kissing her in front of everyone, and the next thing, Kat was telling me you’d done something to make her cry her eyes out. ”
I groan. “I don’t want to talk about it, guys. Suffice it to say I fucked up, royally. And I regret it from the depths of my soul.”
Kat appears, out of nowhere. “Exactly how did you fuck up? Spill it, Reed. Whatever you did to my beautiful Georgina, I could strangle you for it. I liked this one. I wanted to keep her!”
“I was just explaining to the guys I’m not interested in talking about this.”
“Too bad. Tell me everything.”
“News flash, Kitty Kat. That’s not my ring on your finger.” I point to the baby on Josh’s lap, and then to Kat’s baby bump. “And those aren’t my kids. Which means I don’t have to tell you jack shit.”
Kat doesn’t flinch. She’s a girl who’s grown up with four brothers, after all.
Plus, she’s long since learned to take me in stride when I’m in one of my bad moods.
“It’s in your best interest to tell me everything.
Have you forgotten Georgina will be staying at my house when she comes to Seattle to interview Dax and the Goats?
Well, when your name comes up, which it surely will—because that’s what women do: we shit-talk the idiots we love—don’t you want me to know your side of the story, so I can gently try to steer Georgina toward saintly forgiveness? ”
Feigning shock, Josh says, “Wait. Women shit-talk the idiots they love?”
“Oh, honey.” Kat pats her husband’s thigh. “It’s our favorite sport.”
Damn. I think Kat has a point. She’s uniquely positioned to influence Georgina’s opinion of me.
Plus, Kat’s fiery temperament and personality are a lot like Georgina’s.
Kat’s the only person I know who’s as gifted at twisting people around her finger as Georgina, not to mention ripping them a new asshole with a smile.
Come to think of it, yeah, I should probably use Kat as a sounding board—as a proxy for Georgina—to help me figure out my best strategy for winning Georgina back.
“All right. I’ll tell you everything. But this stays between us, guys.
” I look at Henn. “Although, of course, you can tell Hannah.” With that, I proceed to tell Kat and my two best friends the whole story.
Everything from the panel discussion to the grant, and how it came about, to my conversation with Alessandra, to my regrettable kiss with Isabel in the garage.
“The irony,” I say, in wrap-up, “is that kissing Isabel made me realize I only want Georgina.”
Kat snorts. “Good luck convincing Georgina of that.”
“Why? It’s true.”
“Maybe, but that’s the thing cheaters always say after they get caught. ‘Yes, baby, I cheated on you. But it only made me realize how much I only love you.’”
My shoulders slump in defeat.
Kat asks, “Before the party, did you and Georgina exchange ‘I love yous’?”
“No. Is that good or bad for me?”
“It’s a double-edged sword. On one hand, if you’d already exchanged the magic words with Georgina when you cheated on her, she’d think those words meant nothing to you.”
“Can we not say I ‘cheated’ on Georgina? I feel like that’s a bit dramatic for what I actually did. It was nothing but a stupid goodbye kiss.”
“It was cheating, Reed.”
I slump in my chair.
“As I was saying,” Kat says, “it’s a good thing you hadn’t already said the ‘L’ word to Georgina when you cheated on her.
That saves you from Georgina thinking the words are meaningless to you.
But, on the flipside, if you were to say ‘I love you’ now, after cheating on her, then Georgina will think you’re only saying that as a ploy to win her back. ”
I exhale with exasperation. “This isn’t helping me. What’s your point? That I can never tell Georgina I love her now? That I’m fucked forever?”
Kat’s face lights up. “So, you do, in fact, love her?”
I pause. I’ve never said “I love you” to a woman before.
I’ve said, “You drive me crazy” and “I can’t get enough” and “I care about you.” But, in this moment, there’s no doubt the word “love”—and nothing less—is the one that accurately describes my once-in-a-lifetime feelings for Georgina.
“Yeah. I love Georgina like I’ve never loved anyone before. ”
Kat clutches her heart. “Aw, sweetie.” She looks at me sympathetically for a beat, before her features contort sharply with anger. She swats at my shoulder. “What the hell is wrong with you, Reed? Why did you go into that garage with Isabel, in the first place?”
What the hell is wrong with me? Women have been asking me that same question my entire adult life.
And I’m no closer to being able to answer it now.
“How is this helping me?” I whisper-shout.
“You told me to tell you everything so you can convince Georgina to forgive me. Flogging me for my stupidity isn’t useful.
” I wave at the air. “You know what? Forget it. I’ll figure it out myself.
” I stand. “Someone who isn’t drunk, drive me to Georgie right now.
She’s got to be at her father’s condo in the Valley.
I’ll go there now and tell her I love her and win her back. ”
Kat stands and points at my chair like she’s commanding a misbehaving dog. “Sit your ass down, you clueless, impulsive, drunken fool! Do you want Georgina to swoon or scowl when you tell her the magic words for the first time?”
“I want her to swoon,” I admit softly.
“Then sit down.”
I flop down, feeling dejected.
“You can’t say ‘I love you’ to Georgina until you’re completely out of the doghouse, or she won’t believe you. She doesn’t trust you, Reed. You need to regain her trust before you’re allowed to say those magical words.”
“But when will she trust me again?” I boom—but then, I look around the party, realizing I said that far too loudly. I lean forward and whisper-shout, “How can I get myself out of the doghouse with Georgie when she won’t even call me back? Help me, Kat, for the love of fuck!”
Kat looks at Josh. “Have you ever seen him this pathetic before?”
“Not even close.”
She puts her hand on mine. “Okay, Reed. I’m going to help you. But you need to look me in the eye and swear you only kissed Isabel in that garage, and nothing more.”
I look into Kat’s blazing blue eyes. “I swear on my life. On my mother’s. On my nephew’s.”
And that’s it. Kat clearly believes me now, without question. Because she knows, for all my faults, I’d never swear falsely on my beloved nephew.
“Okay,” she says decisively. “Let’s figure out how to get Georgie back.”
“Oh, thank God. Thank you, Kat. Bless you.”
Kat taps the little indentation in her chin.
“Okay, first off, I think it’s important to realize the kiss is your biggest hurdle.
I’m sure you were a bit rude with Alessandra, knowing you.
But I have to believe Georgie will talk to her stepsister and find out what you actually said, versus what she thinks you said, and all will eventually be forgiven. ”
“Good. Yes. That’s my thinking, too. Same thing with the grant.”
“I agree. I’m sure Georgina felt blindsided about the grant last night—and understandably so—and now she’s thinking worst-case scenario about you and CeeCee. But, eventually, she’ll talk to CeeCee and find out what really happened and forgive you on that score, too. Heck, she might even thank you.”