Chapter 6 #3
Alaska allowed herself to fall back into the fog that had enveloped her earlier. It was easier to let Drake take care of everything and not worry about having to think. She vaguely heard Pipe leave, and for another few minutes, Drake sat on the couch with her in his arms, not moving or speaking.
But all too soon for Alaska’s liking, he said, “We need to get you in the shower. Mutt, off.”
The dog in her arms turned his head, gave her ear a lick, then jumped down.
“Come on, Al, you’ll feel better after you get clean.”
She wasn’t sure about that, but since it was Drake asking her to move, she did.
He kept an arm around her waist as he walked her down a short hallway to a bathroom.
He sat her on the toilet, reached over, and turned on the water in the shower.
He grabbed a towel from a small cabinet and put it over a rack on the wall.
Then he pulled open a drawer and took out a toothbrush still in a wrapper.
He opened it and placed it on the counter. Finally, he squatted in front of her.
“Al?”
She stared at him. Alaska felt as if she was watching herself from somewhere high above.
“Are you with me?”
After a moment, she nodded.
“I need you to get in the shower. Wash your hair. Use my soap. I’ll grab some sweats of mine you can put on afterward. Is that okay?”
She nodded again.
But Drake didn’t move from his spot in front of her. He reached out and put his palm on her cheek. He was warm, and the calluses on his hand felt familiar and comforting. “You’re safe here. Okay?”
She nodded a third time.
Drake sighed. “Are you gonna drown if I leave you on your own?”
Alaska frowned slightly and shook her head.
“Good. I’ll be right outside the door if you need me. But I know you can do this. You’ll feel so much better afterward. I swear.”
Alaska watched him stand and leave the room. For a split second, she panicked. She hadn’t been alone since her rescue from that metal box. Her breathing sped up and her heart began to beat out of her chest.
Drake returned with a pile of clothes. He put them on the counter next to the toothbrush and silently held out his hand.
Alaska knew she was falling apart at the seams—and hated it. She put her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet.
“You’re killing me, honey. You’re stronger than that asshole thought you were. He picked the wrong woman to fuck with. You outsmarted him by calling me and using our code. I’m sorry I didn’t get there faster—but you won, Al. You won. He’s dead, and he can’t kidnap any other women. Okay?”
His words penetrated the layer of ice that seemed to surround her. She needed to be stronger. Needed to be like Drake had been when he’d lost all his friends on that mission all those years ago. She nodded.
She liked seeing the relief in his eyes at her agreement. Licking her lips, she said quietly, “I’ve got this.”
“Damn straight, you do,” Drake said. Then he leaned in and kissed her forehead. His lips were warm against her skin, and it was all Alaska could do not to throw herself back into his arms. But then she took a deep breath…and smelled herself. Her nose wrinkled.
“Again, I’m not leaving you. I’ll be right outside. Tiny should be here soon with something for us to eat. Then you can get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”
Alaska wasn’t so sure about that, but she nodded anyway.
Then she was alone in the bathroom once more.
She picked up the toothbrush and began to brush her teeth, the mundane task calming her. When she was done, she felt a surprising eagerness. She liked the fresh, clean taste in her mouth. Wanted the rest of her to be just as clean.
She stripped off her clothes slowly, leaving them in a heap on the floor and stepping into the shower stall. The hot water immediately soaked her hair and body. It felt good. Really good.
How long she stood there, letting the water pound down on her, Alaska didn’t know, but eventually she roused herself enough to pour some shampoo into her hand. She lathered up her shoulder-length brown hair and a familiar smell filled her nostrils. Drake.
She’d recognize his scent anywhere.
She rinsed out the soap and washed her hair again.
Then did it a third time. It felt as if she’d never be able to wash the stench of fear, captivity, and the tangy scent of metal out of the strands.
She poured some liquid soap onto a washcloth and was immediately rewarded with more of Drake’s scent.
Woodsy, a bit of citrus, and earthy. It felt as if his arms were still around her, even though she was alone.
After scrubbing her skin nearly raw, Alaska once again stood under the spray with her face tilted up.
A sob worked its way through her throat and escaped, but once again, she forced her tears back.
She wrenched off the water and reached for the towel Drake had left.
The sweats were too big, but being surrounded by more of his scent, and that of freshly laundered cotton, felt like heaven.
She cautiously opened the bathroom door, aware of the cloud of steam that rolled out of the room.
She did her best not to panic when she didn’t immediately see Drake.
She took three steps into the hallway and sighed in relief when she saw him in the kitchen.
Tiny had obviously been there and left, because there were several bags on the counter.
Mutt saw her first and his nails clicked on the wood under his paws as he rushed toward her. When he reached her side, he leaned against her leg, and Alaska could swear he was smiling as he stared at her.
“Come here, Alaska. Tiny brought us a little bit of everything. We’ve got soup, some bread our chef made this afternoon, some green beans, sliced turkey, and mashed potatoes.”
He placed a heaping plate of food on the small two-person table in his kitchen and held out a chair for her.
Alaska wasn’t hungry, but she obediently walked over and sat. She didn’t want to do anything to irritate him. To make him ask her to leave. She stared down at the food, nausea rolling in her belly.
“You don’t have to eat it all. Just a little. Your body needs the nutrients, Al. Please.”
She picked up the fork and nodded. She’d eat a little bit. For him.
She didn’t remember actually tasting anything, but she must’ve been hungrier than she’d thought because by the time Drake pushed his chair back from the table, half the food on her plate was gone.
“Proud of you, Al. Good job,” he said as he picked up her plate.
Alaska stared at the table in front of her. That floaty feeling was returning. He was proud of her for eating food? God, she was pathetic.
Then Drake was back. He pulled her to her feet and led her past the couch, back to the hall. He passed the bathroom and headed into a bedroom. She saw a queen-size bed with a large wooden headboard and a navy blue bedspread before her eyes closed of their own accord.
“Climb up, Alaska,” he said.
She obeyed, and soon was enveloped in Drake’s masculine aroma once more. It was much stronger here in his bed. On his sheets. And the mattress felt amazing under her sore body. Sitting and lying on the hard metal of the box she’d been locked in had been uncomfortable and painful.
After pulling the covers over her, Drake turned to leave the room—and Alaska couldn’t stop a whimper from escaping.
He turned back, studied her for a long moment, then slowly walked to the other side of the bed. He got under the covers without saying a word and pulled her close.
Alaska hated how weak she felt. How many times had he reassured her that she was safe? That the Russian was dead? She knew it, but deep in her psyche it felt as if, left on her own, she’d somehow be taken again.
The mattress at her feet dipped, and she realized Mutt had followed them into the room and had jumped onto the bed. She was on her side, Drake on his back, and she felt the dog’s weight settle in the crook of her knees. She was surrounded by warmth.
For the first time in days, she finally felt safe.
“Sleep, Al,” Drake said softly. “I’ve been where you are.
I promise after you get some sleep, you’ll feel better.
But you don’t have to be Wonder Woman. You’ve survived something horrific.
Your freedom was taken from you. You were threatened with some pretty horrible things.
But you’re all right. You’re safe. I’m so sorry about what happened to you, but I’m so damn grateful you’re still here.
The world’s a better place because you’re in it.
“You said that to me…remember? Back in the hospital, in Germany. I haven’t forgotten it.
When shit gets heavy, when I feel as if I can’t go one more day, when the guilt of surviving overwhelms me, I think about those words.
And they make me feel better. Just knowing you’re out there somewhere, happy I’m alive, gives me the strength to keep going. ”
This time, it was impossible to keep the tears from leaking out of her eyes, down her face, and soaking into the material of his shirt.
“I’m serious. If you hadn’t come to me in Germany…
I don’t want to think about where I might be.
The Refuge, my new friends, my ability to function…
it’s all because of you. I’m sorry about the reason you’re here, but I can’t be sorry that you are.
Sleep, Al. We’ll figure things out one day at a time. Okay?”
Gah. That was…she didn’t know what that was. All she knew was that she’d never heard more beautiful words in all her life. And Drake—Drake—had said them to her.
They hadn’t talked much about when she’d gone to visit him. They’d sent messages and emails back and forth about countless other things, but not about that dark time in his life. To know that her visit had truly helped him, made her need for him now seem not quite so…lopsided.
She closed her eyes, but couldn’t seem to stop the tears. They fell as if someone had turned on a faucet. But Drake didn’t seem to mind. He simply tightened his hand on the arm that she’d slung across his belly and turned to kiss her forehead once more.