Chapter 20 #2
During the height of the confusion, she’d gone to the barn. She wasn’t supposed to. She knew the procedures. She was supposed to stay put in the lodge. But knowing Tonka—no, Finn—was by himself in the barn, trying to calm the animals, had nagged at her. So she’d left to help him.
Of course, Finn had never wanted her help. Not in a professional way, and not in a personal way. She was the stupid one who wouldn’t give up on him.
Finn was different from the other men who owned The Refuge. He was more…broken…than the others.
But even after all the time she’d been working at The Refuge, she hadn’t made any headway with his therapy, despite the fact he attended group sessions semi-regularly.
It was heartbreaking because he was such a good man.
When the bedlam erupted tonight, he’d headed straight for the animals, to make sure they were safe and calm.
Yes, it was his job, but Henley knew it was more than that.
He had a connection with every four-legged creature at The Refuge that went beyond what most people had with pets and farm animals.
She hadn’t been able to stop herself from going to him.
She was drawn to Finn. As a therapist, she knew it was a slippery slope.
It wasn’t professional to have feelings for a client…
but then again, Finn had never, not once, participated in any of her sessions.
He attended but didn’t speak, simply watching her with those all-seeing eyes of his.
Being the focus of his attention was uncomfortable… and exciting at the same time.
From the moment she stepped into the barn, it was obvious Finn had his work cut out for him.
The fire coming from the POW cabin had all the animals on edge.
And the firecrackers weren’t helping the situation.
The horses were snorting and stomping in their stalls, even banging against the gates, trying to get out.
Melba was mooing nonstop. It was a terrified sound, one that instantly made tears spring to Henley’s eyes. The chickens were agitated and running around, the goats were bleating, and she even saw a cat dart from one end of the barn to the other as it tried to find a safe place to hide.
She immediately waded into the chaos, eager to help in any way she could.
She went to Melba’s stall and began to pet the petrified cow.
She knew the beast’s story as well as anyone, knew Melba had been trapped in a barn fire.
She stroked her head and put an arm around her giant neck.
She murmured calmly to the creature, doing her best to keep her voice low and composed.
To her surprise, one of the dogs Finn and the rest of the guys at The Refuge had adopted joined her in the stall.
As did two of the goats. They all hunkered down, taking solace from each other.
All the while, Finn walked around doing the same thing with the horses and the other animals. Henley could hear his deep voice reassuring the anxious animals that they were all right. That they were safe. That he wouldn’t let anyone or anything hurt them.
The noise from the firecrackers finally faded and the crackling of the nearby fire stopped.
She’d just stood up when Finn appeared in front of Melba’s stall. But instead of looking calm and controlled, as she’d assumed by his voice, his eyes were wide, he was breathing hard, and he looked as if he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
She moved before thinking about what she was doing. She took hold of his arm and steered him out of the stall, making sure to latch the door behind her so Melba wouldn’t take it upon herself to go on a midnight walk around the property.
She escorted Finn to a small office, surprised when he let her. She sat him on the small couch and, to her utter shock, he immediately leaned into her, burying his face in her neck and holding her as if he’d never let go.
Henley wrapped her arms around him and simply held him back as his large body shook.
Something had triggered him tonight, but she wasn’t exactly sure what. The firecrackers and fire and gunshots could’ve set him off…but she didn’t think so. She hadn’t seen him flinch with any of those sounds. He’d been completely focused on the animals.
In the two years she’d been working at The Refuge, she’d locked down her attraction to this man.
Just as she suspected he’d done with her.
Despite that…when they were in the same room, their eyes always seemed to meet.
When he sat in on sessions, she got the peculiar feeling he was there to protect her from anyone saying or doing anything offensive.
He’d even escorted a guest or two out of sessions in the past, when he or she got too angry or worked up.
And the few times she’d recounted what had happened to her when she was a girl, he’d gripped the arms of his chair so tightly, Henley was sure he’d break the wood.
But neither of them had ever acted on their attraction.
Hadn’t crossed that line. They were co-workers, and while it made Henley unbearably sad, she understood that Finn wasn’t ready for a relationship.
If he ever made it back to a place where he was ready for companionship, he very likely wouldn’t start anything with her.
Not only because they worked together, but because she was a psychologist. He wouldn’t be the first man too afraid she’d probe into his psyche and want to know all his secrets.
She did want to know his secrets…but only because she cared about him.
And now here they were, holding each other as if they were each other’s lifeline.
How long Finn sat with her, shaking and holding on for dear life, Henley didn’t know. She didn’t encourage him to talk, to tell her what was wrong. She simply held him.
When he finally loosened his hold, Henley braced. To her utter surprise, he didn’t pull away abruptly and leave without a word, as she’d expected. He stared at her for a long moment before saying, “Thank you. I…needed that.”
Henley nodded. “Me too.”
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
“Yes. Are you?”
He thought about her question for a few seconds before saying, “I think I am now. I need to check on the others. Make sure Brick and Alaska are all right.”
Henley nodded again.
Finn stood and held his hand out for her to take.
She took it, shivering as electricity seemed to shoot down her arm. He dropped her hand as soon as she was on her feet, but Henley could somehow still feel it.
The rest of the night was exhausting, as Finn left to check on his friends and Henley did what she could to help the guests who were on edge.
She was happy that everything had turned out all right. That no one was seriously injured, animal and human alike, and the man who’d come after Alaska was no longer a threat. Now she was tired. Drained, really.
“You look beat,” Pipe told her. “Why don’t you stay the night? We’ve got a cot we can put in one of the meeting rooms here at the lodge.”
She smiled at him. “Thanks, but I need to get home.”
“Are you sure? It’s very late.”
“I’m sure. My daughter is at my neighbor’s, and she’s a nurse and has to go to work at five in the morning.”
Pipe stared at her for a moment. “You have a daughter?”
Henley nodded. “Yeah.”
“I didn’t know that. Did you know that, Stone?” Pipe asked, turning to his friend standing nearby.
“Nope.”
Henley merely shrugged. “It hasn’t come up,” she told them.
“All right then, well…drive safe. And you’re definitely going to be paid overtime for the hours you were here tonight. We appreciate all you did, more than we could ever say,” Pipe said.
“There’s no place I would’ve rather been,” Henley reassured them.
Her eyes swept the room once more, making sure all the guests had gone and no one was left who might need an ear to listen.
Her gaze caught on Finn’s. He was standing near the front desk—staring straight at her.
She couldn’t read the look in his eyes. She hoped their time in the barn tonight would perhaps bring them closer, would make him at least willing to talk to her.
When he turned and headed for the door, she knew that wouldn’t be the case.
She sighed heavily.
“Drive safe,” Stone reiterated.
“Please text when you get home,” Pipe added.
Henley couldn’t help but wish it was another man who’d made the request, who was worried about her, but she nodded at Pipe anyway. “I will. Thanks.”
She gathered up her coat and purse and headed for the door.
It had been a long, hard day, but she couldn’t help but be pleased with the assistance she’d been able to give the guests.
Being a single mother and working the odd hours she did made her life tough, but she wouldn’t change anything about it.
Her daughter was her entire world, and she’d do whatever was necessary to provide a safe, happy, stable life for her.
Tonka was so tired he could barely see straight…yet he couldn’t stop thinking about Henley. She’d done everything right tonight. Had stepped in to help him with the animals. Hadn’t asked him a million questions. Her instincts had simply kicked in and she’d done what he needed her to do.
And after the animals were settled? When he’d remembered another animal, in another time and place, that he hadn’t been able to help…
allowing his demons to creep in? An animal he’d had to watch suffer?
She’d simply let him work through the worst of the memories in silence while holding him tightly so he didn’t explode into a million pieces.
From the moment he’d met the psychologist Brick had hired to work with the guests, Tonka had known she was special.
She didn’t force anyone to tell their stories.
Didn’t make anyone feel as if they were broken or fragile.
She treated clients as if they were close friends, creating a feeling of calm, quiet intimacy in her sessions that made people feel safe enough to speak freely.
To admit fears and traumas from their pasts.
And when he’d heard what she’d been through as a child?
It took everything within Tonka not to demand information about who the assholes were who’d killed her mom.
He wanted to make sure they wouldn’t hurt anyone ever again.
It had been decades since she’d been that ten-year-old girl, scared out of her mind and hiding under her bed, and for all he knew, the men were in jail or dead.
But that event still affected her. Tonka could tell.
He felt a pull toward her. Probably because they’d experienced a trauma that was surprisingly similar. They’d both had to watch and listen as a loved one was tortured and killed. But while Tonka had allowed his experience to break him, Henley turned hers into a lifelong crusade.
He had a hard time relating to people now, preferring the company of animals. But when Tonka had heard Henley mention a daughter, something inside him shifted.
Unreasonably, he didn’t like knowing Henley had kept something as important as a child from them. She wasn’t married; he knew that unequivocally. There was also no mention of an ex—and her daughter was with a neighbor—which meant she was likely the sole parent.
Were they doing all right? Was she making enough money? Were they struggling at all? Did she have a regular babysitter? The hours she worked at The Refuge weren’t exactly steady.
How old was her daughter? What was her name?
His curiosity almost overwhelmed him. All of a sudden, Tonka wanted to know everything about Henley McClure. Everything she’d been keeping to herself.
It was an odd feeling, this curiosity. Tonka hadn’t really cared about almost anything for a long while now, ever since he’d gotten out of the Coast Guard. He’d been living his life one day at a time and concentrating on the ins and outs of running The Refuge with his friends.
But tonight, Henley had snuck beneath his very high, thick walls. He wasn’t sure if that was good or bad, but he acknowledged that something had changed.
He wanted to care again. Wanted to act on the interest he saw in her eyes, which he’d done his best to ignore for two years. Wanted to admit that her interest wasn’t one-sided.
He’d have to move slowly. For his sake as well as hers. He wasn’t at all sure he was ready to be in any kind of romantic relationship. She’d want him to open up. To talk about his past.
He had a feeling Henley would understand better than anyone why he couldn’t talk about what happened on that fateful day so many years ago. It wasn’t fair to want to know all her secrets while sharing none of his…still, he didn’t know if he could.
As he finally settled into bed, Tonka’s mind continued to whirl. It wouldn’t be easy for him to open up to Henley, but he couldn’t deny the urge to get closer. To see if the connection they seemed to share might be strong enough to withstand the trauma of his past.
For the first time in what felt like forever, Tonka was cautiously excited about the future. He drifted to sleep…looking forward to tomorrow.
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