Chapter 5 #2
“If she can swing it, it really would be helpful if she could let us know ahead of time when she’ll be here,” Brick said. “Like you said, so we can keep our eye on anyone who might be triggered by children and make plans for both Jasna and the guests.”
“Of course. I’ll be sure she reaches out to both Alaska and myself with her schedule. We’ll stay on top of it,” Tonka said.
Brick nodded. “I think this is a good idea, Tonka. I personally like the idea of having kids around here. I mean, not screaming their heads off and running amuck, but you know.”
Tonka nodded. He really didn’t know, as he hadn’t been around children much. But Jasna seemed pretty mellow. He didn’t think she was the running-around-screaming type. Then again, he’d only been around her when she was sick. He could be wrong.
“She seems really interested in Melba and the other animals, so I’m thinking, at least to start, she’ll probably be sticking pretty close to the barn,” he told his friends.
“Sounds good. And, Tonka?” Brick added.
“Yeah?”
“It was great to have you at lunch. You’re a huge part of our team, and it’d be nice to hang out with you more.”
Tonka nodded. “I’ll do my best.”
“We haven’t pressed, and we still won’t. But if you ever want to talk about anything…we’re here,” Owl added.
Tonka had always been close-lipped about his personal demons. But perhaps it was time to loosen the iron hold he had on his past. If he couldn’t trust these men, he figured there were few people he could trust.
Although, he wasn’t the only one with pretty high shields around his emotions.
Owl was a Night Stalker, one of the Army’s elite helicopter pilots, when his chopper was shot down and he’d been taken captive.
Stone was Owl’s copilot, and the two men were held for several weeks before they’d been rescued.
The experience had damaged them both. Neither of them were inclined to share the details of what they’d endured.
The Refuge had given them a chance to start over. To conquer their demons…or at least drive them to the back of their minds. Tonka knew better than anyone that the bad memories never truly went away. They were always there, waiting to come into the light and fuck up a perfectly good day.
“I know…and I’m not ready,” Tonka admitted to his friends. “But I’m trying to get there.”
Both men nodded, and Brick clapped him on the shoulder. “It’s progress,” he said sincerely.
And it was. A year ago, Tonka wouldn’t even have contemplated telling anyone about what he’d been through.
For one, he didn’t want to put it into words, reliving that day by actually talking about it.
And for another, he was still processing everything that had happened, even though it had been years ago.
No one could understand the emotional agony that day had imprinted on his psyche. Even his close friend Raiden Walker, who’d been there with him, couldn’t relate. He’d been unconscious throughout most of the horror. Yes, he’d lost his canine partner too…but Raiden hadn’t seen what Tonka had.
No. He didn’t think anyone would ever fully understand…but that didn’t mean they weren’t willing to listen.
Realizing he was getting sucked down into the past, Tonka did his best to turn his mind to something else. Something better. Henley would be here soon, and he’d get to tell her that Jasna could hang out at the resort this summer.
Of course, Tonka still needed to get the okay from the others, but he didn’t think they’d have a problem with Henley’s daughter being around.
They walked out of the conference room, and he wasn’t surprised when Brick went straight to Alaska.
He watched as his friend put his hand on her cheek, leaned over, and gave her a kiss.
He straightened a bit, but didn’t drop his hand.
He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it was more than obvious the two were madly in love.
Tonka didn’t really understand that kind of connection.
He loved his parents, sure, and he cared a hell of a lot about his friends…
but deeply emotional love, the need to be near someone constantly, the innate urge to put your hands on them pretty much at all times, just to make sure they were all right…
that wasn’t something he’d experienced with another person.
However, he more than understood that kind of emotion when it came to animals. He would’ve done anything for Steel. Just as the dog would’ve done anything for him. Which was why what happened hurt so badly, even today.
Did he really want to feel that deeply for a woman? Losing his dog was difficult enough…
Shit. There he went again, getting sucked down into the pit of despair that had held him in its grasp for so long after that awful day.
To his relief, the front door to the lodge opened and around a dozen people entered. Spike and Pipe were in the lead—with whom Tonka assumed were the guests who’d been on the hike—followed by Stone and Tiny.
“Any food left?” Spike asked loudly.
The group all headed for the dining area, except for Tiny and a woman with shoulder-length black hair. Her head was on a swivel as she checked out the lodge. She obviously hadn’t spent much time inside, if her wide-eyed reaction was any indication.
“Ryan,” Alaska called as she scooted out from behind the desk and headed for the woman. “How was the tour? I hope Stone and Tiny behaved themselves. You aren’t ready to quit, are you?” she joked.
The woman chuckled. “No way. This place is awesome! The cabins are adorable. And we didn’t have time to go to the barn, but I can’t wait to meet Melba.”
Alaska laughed. “Yeah, she’s a huge hit around here, for sure. Speaking of, this is Tonka. He takes care of all the animals.”
He nodded in greeting, and Ryan offered an easy smile.
“Did you get to meet Carly and Jess?” Alaska asked the woman.
“Briefly, yes. They seem really nice.”
“They are.” Alaska looked at Tiny, as if just realizing he was still standing there. “What are you doing? Shoo,” she told him. “Go eat. Or flirt with the ladies. You know you’re the pretty one of the bunch.”
Tiny rolled his eyes, then turned to Ryan.
“As I said earlier, if you need anything, one of us is always around. I’m sure Jess and Carly will mention it, but once you get any rooms ready for incoming guests each day, you can take a break and grab some food.
If the buffet’s been cleaned up, just head into the kitchen.
Robert or Luna will be happy to make something, or you can grab food on your own.
Unlike most chefs, Robert’s not territorial at all.
Just be sure to clean up whatever mess you make. ”
Ryan nodded. “Thanks for the tour. Will you thank Stone for me too?”
“Will do. It’s nice to meet you. Welcome to The Refuge family.”
Tonka noticed a subtle pensive look cross the newcomer’s face before she masked it and nodded. But any other observation he might’ve had about Ryan’s reaction to Tiny ended when the door behind her opened—and Henley stepped inside.
“Was there a party I didn’t get an invitation for?” she joked when she saw so many people standing just inside the door.
Alaska laughed. “Nope. The guys just got back from a hike with some of the guests, and Stone and Tiny were giving Ryan a tour of the place. Ryan, this is Henley. Henley, Ryan. Ryan’s our new housekeeper.”
“Oh! It’s good to meet you,” Henley said warmly, holding out her hand to the other woman.
“Same,” Ryan said with a smile.
“Henley’s our psychologist. She works mostly in the afternoons, and meets with our guests if and when they need it.”
“Cool,” Ryan said, not seeming weirded out in the least to be working in a place where the guests needed therapy while they were on vacation.
But then again, she had to have done her homework on The Refuge before applying for the job, so it wasn’t as if she wouldn’t know what their mission was or why people came here.
“I’m gonna go have a word with the guys who just got back,” Brick told Tonka meaningfully. “If you want to chat with Henley…?”
Tonka nodded, and because he hadn’t taken his gaze from Henley, he saw the way she frowned and looked between him and Brick.
“A chat? Am I in trouble?” She smiled, but the concern was easy to hear even though she tried to hide it.
“No,” Tonka said. “It was nice to meet you, Ryan,” he said a little belatedly, then held out his hand to Henley while gesturing to the conference room he’d just vacated.
It took everything he had not to put his hand on the small of her back when she passed him, but Tonka didn’t think that would be very professional, especially in front of the others.
He followed her into the room and shut the door. As soon as it closed behind them, Henley turned. Her back was straight and her expression concerned as she asked, “What’s wrong, Finn?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” he told her. Not wanting her to stress a moment longer, he laid it out.
“I talked to the guys, and they’re fine with Jasna being here this summer when you don’t have anyone to watch her.
She can hang with me in the barn, and maybe even shadow the other employees.
I forgot to talk to the guys about it, but if she finds she enjoys doing something in particular, I was serious about paying her for the work she does while she’s here.
Not a lot, since we can’t hire her officially, but enough to make it seem cool to be hanging out with the housekeepers and vacuuming floors and stuff. ”
“I…I didn’t think you were going to ask them today,” Henley said.
“Why not?”
“Well, we just had the conversation about my childcare situation this morning.”
“And?”
“I don’t know. I just didn’t think you’d immediately come back here and ask the guys about it.”