Chapter 14 #2
Henley attempted to wink, but in reality, she just closed both her eyes hard, then opened them again. “Shhhhh. Yes! We don’t wanna wake Jasna. And Stone’s in our cabin babysitting, although she’d die if we called it that, and we don’t want to intermupt him.”
Spike fought his smile at the way Henley kept mispronouncing words. And she wasn’t exactly using her inside voice.
“We aren’t having sex in the barn,” Tonka told her firmly.
Henley pouted. “Why not? Reese is gonna have sex with Spike, and I’m sure everyone else is too. Why can’t we?”
“I’m so having sex,” Reese piped in, nodding like a bobble head. “We keep gettin’ interrupted and I want Gus’s dick in me. So we’re gonna go do it. You two should too. Ha…two should too…” She dissolved into giggles.
Spike rolled his eyes.
“We’re going to the barn because you’re so loud right now,” Tonka told her.
“And to have sex,” Henley insisted.
“Sure, yeah,” he said, clearly placating her.
“Have fun with the sex,” Reese called out, the alcohol completely loosening her tongue.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you home,” Spike said as he leaned over and picked her up, one arm under her knees and the other behind her back.
To his surprise, Reese stopped talking and stared at him with wide eyes as he followed behind Tonka and Henley.
“What? What are you thinking, beautiful?” he asked when they were finally outside and on their way to his cabin.
“You’re carrying me.”
Spike nodded. “I am,” he agreed.
“No one carries me. I’m too big. Plus-size. Heavy. Fat.”
“You aren’t fat,” Spike growled, pissed off that she’d use that word to describe herself. “Curvy, yes. If you want to say plus-size, you can use that too—but don’t ever call yourself fat again.”
“Gus…” she whispered.
He looked down at her and saw tears in her eyes. “Do not cry,” he ordered.
Her arms had come up around his neck, and she turned her face so it was buried in his chest as he carried her. “No one’s ever carried me like this before. I didn’t even think it was possible! I just…I love you, Gus! So much.”
Spike stopped in the middle of the path to his cabin.
He looked down at the woman in his arms, and it felt as if his entire world spun on its axis right then and there.
It wasn’t as if he thought he and Reese were dating casually.
He wouldn’t enjoy her being in his space so much if they were.
And he wouldn’t be so impatient for her to get a job to definitively tie herself to the area.
But her coming right out and saying those words felt life-altering.
Except…she was drunk. Shitfaced. Completely blotto.
He began walking again.
She didn’t say anything else, but he could feel her hot breaths through his shirt, and each one made his cock twitch in his jeans.
When he arrived at his cabin, he said, “I need to put you down so I can unlock the door.”
She merely mumbled against him.
“Reese?”
“Hmmmm?”
“Hold onto me,” he ordered instead of explaining further.
“I am,” she said.
Spike slowly lowered her legs to the ground and wrapped his arm around her waist when she collapsed against him, giving him most of her weight. He managed to unlock the front door and shuffle them both inside.
“Good, we’re home. Can we have sex now?” she slurred.
Spike didn’t answer, instead picking her up again, loving the mewing sound that left her lips as she snuggled into him once more. He carried her down the hall to his room and put her down on his bed. He turned on the small lamp on the nightstand and sat on the mattress beside her hip.
He leaned over her and brushed her hair away from her face with his free hand.
Reese closed her eyes and leaned her head into his touch.
“Sleep, sweetheart,” he said gently.
“Are we having sex?” she asked sleepily.
“Eventually. But not tonight.”
She pouted and her eyes opened. “But I want to.”
“I do too, but I want you conscious when we make love.”
Reese sighed. “I drank too much,” she said sadly.
“You do that a lot?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Don’t like bars. Don’t trust guys there. But tonight, with my new friends…and with you…I felt safe.”
Spike liked that answer. A lot. “Good. Because you are safe when you’re with me. And here on The Refuge.”
“This is the most amazing place ever,” she told him. “I’m so proud of you. You could’ve sent that guest off to the hospital but instead you took care of him. Made him feel safe too. Didn’t make him feel embarrassed.”
“It wasn’t his fault. And there’s no way we would’ve sent him to the clinic in Los Alamos.”
“I know. Because you’re awesome,” Reese said. “Did I thank you for coming to find Woody?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
Spike grinned. Fuck, she was so damn cute.
“Gus?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“I want you but I’m afraid.”
“Of what? Me?” Spike asked, appalled at the thought.
“Of you seeing me.”
He relaxed. “You have absolutely nothing to be afraid of.”
“I have rolls,” she admitted.
“And I have scars,” he said with a shrug. “I got this tattoo sleeve to cover some of them.”
Her eyes lit up as she ran her hand up and down the arm in question, which he was using to prop himself up next to her. “I like it.”
“I’m glad. What else?”
Reese frowned.
“What else do you want to tell me while your inhibitions are down? Give it all to me, so I don’t accidentally trigger any of your insecurities later.
” Spike figured he might as well find out what he could while she was drunk.
Maybe it wasn’t fair or ethical, but he didn’t care.
He’d do whatever it took to make this woman his.
“Nothing.” She didn’t look him in the eyes when she said it.
“Come on, Reese. Talk to me.”
“I’ve never had anyone go down on me before,” she blurted.
“I’ve never sucked a man’s dick. I want to, but I don’t want to do it wrong or choke.
Peppers give me gas. I’ve masturbated in your bed but I was afraid you’d hear me so I buried my face in your pillow when I came.
Years ago, I bought a romance book after I met you for the first time and crossed out the names and changed them to Gus and Reese.
I’ve read that one dozens of times. I used to bug Woody all the time about you, asked him a million questions.
I love math, even though it’s not cool. I was totally not popular in high school, and I had a crush on one of the football players, then I learned he was making fun of me with his friends and it hurt a lot.
I’ve never slept with a guy…slept with them, like stayed the night.
My first time hurt but the guy didn’t care, he just kept thrusting in and out.
I want kids—at least three. I was scared to death to go to Colombia, but I had to because Woody was missing and he’s the only person who’s ever loved me and didn’t want to change me.
And I’m so happy here that I’m afraid it’s a dream and I’ll wake up and it’ll all be gone. ”
Spike stared down at Reese, his heart in his throat. When he’d encouraged her to talk to him, he hadn’t expected all that. It was one very long spiel. And he felt unworthy of such heartfelt confessions.
He leaned down and kissed her gently. “It’s not a dream. When you wake up in the morning, I’ll be here.”
“Okay. Good,” Reese said and her eyes closed.
“You feel sick?” Spike asked her.
“Uh-uh.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Tired.”
“Okay, sweetheart. Sleep.”
“Will you stay?”
Spike didn’t answer right away. Could he even sleep next to her and control himself?
Yeah. He could. “I’m staying.”
She smiled. “Good.”
Spike stared down at her for a long time after she fell asleep.
She might not be comfortable in her clothes, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world for her to sleep in them.
He eventually roused himself enough to stand.
He removed his shoes and socks, and Reese’s as well—because who wanted to sleep with socks on?
—and covered her with the comforter. Then he headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.
When he reentered the room, he changed into a pair of flannel sleep pants he never wore, but for some reason still had in his drawer, then climbed under the covers and scooted up against Reese. She’d rolled onto her side, and he plastered himself to her back, wrapping an arm around her waist.
She mumbled something under her breath and pushed her ass back against him. Instead of getting turned on, Spike felt…content. This was the first time he’d slept in his own bed since Reese had arrived, and he loved how the sheets smelled like her.
A sudden vision of them lying together, just like this, when they were old and gray sprang into his mind.
He fell asleep with a smile on his face. The world might be conspiring against them when it came to making love, but in many ways, holding her like this while she slept was even better.