Chapter 11 #2
It was more than a little chilly, it was actually kind of cold, but Cora didn’t care.
She nodded and headed for one of the chairs, lowering herself and leaning back.
Pipe was right, it was a great star-gazing chair because when her head rested on the back, it was at the perfect angle to look upward without craning her neck.
He shook out a blanket and draped it over her before sitting in the other chair. They didn’t speak for a while, until Cora turned her head. The small lights around them let her see the man at her side.
To her surprise, instead of looking up at the sky, Pipe was staring at her.
“What?” she asked with a small frown.
“You like?” he asked.
“Duh,” Cora said. “What’s not to like?”
“Hard chair, it’s cold, it’s dark, and it’s not like the sky is as entertaining as a TV show would be.”
Cora snorted. Honest-to-God snorted. She would’ve been embarrassed at the sound, but was feeling too awed at the moment.
“You know, if someone had asked me what I expected to get out of winning a dinner at that auction, I never in a million years would’ve said ending up here at The Refuge, sitting in the dark, staring at a night sky I’ve literally never seen before in my entire life, snuggled in a warm blanket, with a man who has more layers than I ever would’ve thought. ”
His lips twitched, and it was only then that he turned his attention upward.
“When I feel my thoughts overwhelming me, I come out here and look up at the sky. I was on a mission once. It was in the desert in Iran. We’d entered the country stealthily and were waiting for the next phase of the mission to start.
It was absolutely silent, only the sound of our breathing and the occasional shifting of someone on the sand.
I was focused on what was to come when I happened to look up.
I literally gasped when I saw the stars.
Out there, with absolutely no light pollution, I’d never seen anything so bloody beautiful in my life.
“When I got here, before our houses were built, I camped out a lot. I felt more comfortable outside, without four walls around me. I’ve gotten much better with that trapped feeling, but I knew I wanted to build a rooftop deck.
Somewhere I could go to see the stars when my PTSD flared and I needed space.
I’ve slept up here more times than I can count.
Being able to look up and see the stars, to know the world is so much bigger than my problems are… it helps.”
Cora sighed and turned her gaze upward again. She thought about what he’d said for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, it does help.”
In the ensuing silence, she argued with herself for a few minutes…before mentally shrugging. She’d always been impulsive. Saying things she probably shouldn’t. Doing stupid crap. Why would tonight be any different?
Cora stood with the blanket still wrapped around her and took the few steps over to Pipe’s chair. She felt more than saw his gaze locked on her. Without a word, she turned sideways and sat on his lap.
To her relief, he didn’t ask her what she was doing.
Didn’t throw her off his lap. His arms encircled her as she lay her head on his shoulder and snuggled close.
Her legs were hanging over the arm of the chair, and to be honest, it wasn’t exactly the most comfortable position, but Pipe was warm, and she was content.
“Is this okay?” she whispered after a moment.
“It’s perfect,” Pipe reassured her.
Smiling, she relaxed into him.
As far back as she could remember, Cora had kept her emotions to herself.
She’d found that it never helped to cry as a child.
She was still removed from one home and placed in another.
If she acted out, she was labeled “difficult” and, once again, moved to a different home.
If she admitted she was depressed, she was taken to the hospital and given pills.
She’d learned it was easier to keep what she was feeling to herself.
And while it had been a very long time since she was in the foster care system, much of what she’d learned during that time had become a lifelong habit.
She was able to talk to Lara about what she was feeling, but that was literally the only person she’d opened up to in years. Until now.
“I’m scared,” she admitted in a barely there whisper.
Instead of immediately telling her that everything would be fine, Pipe asked, “Of what?”
Cora snorted. “Everything.”
“Break it down for me.”
She sighed. “That Lara’s already gone. I know the statistics…when women disappear for so long, it’s unlikely they’re found alive.”
“I’m not saying that’s not a possibility,” Pipe started…
and while Cora didn’t like what he was saying, she appreciated that he was being honest, wasn’t trying to sugarcoat the situation.
“But this doesn’t feel like a normal kind of kidnapping.
Michaels didn’t keep it a secret that he was in Arizona, and that Lara was with him.
If he did want to hurt or kill her, I’d think he would’ve just done it in DC. What else?”
“I don’t want you or your friends to get hurt. I convinced you to help me and if anything happens to any of you, I’m not sure I could live with the guilt.”
“What happens from here on out is not your responsibility,” Pipe said sternly.
Cora merely shrugged. “You can say that, but it doesn’t mean I won’t still feel as if it is.”
“We’re going into this with our eyes open,” Pipe told her. “We aren’t thinking we can just walk up to the door of this guy’s mansion and ask to speak to Lara and that will be that. We know it’s likely to be much more of a bloody mess.”
Unbelievably, Cora smiled.
“What’s that smile for?” Pipe asked.
“I thought the exact same thing earlier, about walking up and knocking on Ridge’s door and asking to see Lara.”
Pipe tightened his arms around her for a moment. The hug felt good. “What else are you scared about?”
Cora debated for a second whether to say what was on her mind, but since it was dark out, and she was feeling braver than usual, she blurted it out. “You.”
Every muscle under her stiffened. “Me? You’re scared of me?” Pipe asked, sounding completely shocked.
“Yes.”
“Stand up, Cora,” he said in a strangled tone.
But she refused. She burrowed into him deeper. He was strong enough to stand with her still in his lap and physically put her away from him, but she hoped against hope that he wouldn’t.
“You make me feel things I never have. Never thought I would,” she said quickly.
“Lara’s the romantic. She’s always seeing Prince Charming around every corner.
Every man she meets could potentially be ‘The One’ for her.
Me? I’m the exact opposite. I see a monster in a man’s body when I meet most guys.
I’ve learned the hard way that people aren’t who they seem to be on the surface.
But the more I’m around you, the more it feels as if you’re exactly who you portray to the world. ”
“A fucked-up freak covered in tattoos because it was the only way he could feel anything other than a detached kind of fog?” Pipe asked a little harshly.
“See? Most men wouldn’t even admit that was why they’d gotten tattoos.
They’d probably just say they looked badass, or they liked the designs or something.
But not you. You’re more genuine than anyone I’ve ever met.
And…around you, I feel…safe,” Cora said softly.
“And it’s my feelings for you that scare me. ”
Little by little, the muscles under her relaxed, and she went on.
“I like the way you look. I liked that at the auction, people were a little scared of you. I totally would’ve won my bid if bitchface Eleanor hadn’t done what she always does, try to put me in what she sees as my place…
beneath her, simply because she’s pretty and has money. ”
“You’re safe with me,” Pipe told her.
“I know. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think so. Can I admit something else?”
“Of course.”
“I know I’m not supposed to want a protector.
I’m a modern woman, and I don’t need a man.
But traveling here opened my eyes a lot.
Usually when I’m going about my business, some men stare.
They think it’s their right to say whatever they want, no matter how inappropriate, or to undress me with their eyes.
Or they dismiss me completely. They look through me, as if I’m not important enough for them to notice.
But when I’m with you, no one treats me disrespectfully.
I felt as if I could relax for the first time in public.
It’s…I know that’s not a popular thing for women to want, or think, but I can’t help it. ”
“No one will even think to look at you with disrespect when I’m around.”
“I know,” Cora said with a small nod. “That’s what I’m saying.”
“I think most women are probably a happy medium between you and your friend Lara. They don’t think every person they meet could be their other half, but they don’t think they’re out to get them either,” Pipe said after a comfortable few minutes of silence.
“I agree.”
“You don’t have to be afraid of me, Cora,” Pipe said in a tone she couldn’t interpret. “You’re in no danger from me. Physically, emotionally, or in any other way. There’s something about you that I…” His voice trailed off.
“Yeah,” Cora agreed.
“You feel it too.” It wasn’t a question.
She nodded against his shoulder.
“The timing’s not great,” Pipe said, and she could clearly hear the humor in his tone now.
“Right? Like…thanks, universe, for putting a guy I think I might actually be able to trust and who I want to get to know better in my path, right when the shit’s hitting the fan.”