Chapter 28
‘What on earth are you giggling about now? So much for your O-levels. Come on, share with the rest of us.’
Hetty took her Bluetooth headphones off and gave Aggie an apologetic look.
‘It’s Stella. She’s been sending me these brilliant video things on my phone. She calls them me-mes.’
‘Memes,’ chorused her aunts.
Hetty studied them from her position on the sofa. The two had been quarrelling over the remote control all evening, so she’d returned to her phone under the pretence of signing up to study for her GCSEs online. The call of social media notifications had been too much, however.
‘I’m sorry,’ Hetty sighed. ‘I’m being anti-social, aren’t I?’
‘Yes,’ Aggie replied, as Jemima opportunistically grabbed the remote.
‘Maybe she’s just not a fan of the Antiques Roadshow, Aggie,’ chirruped Jemima.
Hetty grinned. She was much more relaxed around the aunts now – much more relaxed, in fact, than she’d been with anyone in her whole life. She found herself being sucked into the strong temptation to be cheeky.
‘Maybe I have my own ideas on what to watch …’
The aunts visibly perked up. She found Aggie examining her curiously and pulled a face. Jemima laughed, delighted, and even Aggie smiled.
‘My goodness, you really are feeling better, aren’t you? Go on then – what do you want to watch? Has your friend Stella given you any recommendations?’
Hetty bit her lip, blushing slightly. ‘Well, I’ve heard there’s something called Bridger … Bridgerford.’
‘Oooh, Bridgerton!’ corrected Jemima. ‘Bit … heterosexual, though, isn’t it? But an excellent choice nonetheless, my dear.’
Aggie sighed. ‘I don’t know, Jemima. Watching Bridgerton with one’s niece? Isn’t it supposed to be more than slightly risqué?’
Jemima turned a cynical eye on her sister, nudging her pointedly with her macramé. Her current project was all in black, with the most fascinating bright red plastic ball attached. As usual, Hetty had decided not to ask questions about it.
‘Don’t pretend for one second you haven’t watched it, Agatha. Not for one split second. You forget we share a Netflix password.’
Highly amused, Hetty watched her sternest aunt turn beetroot red.
‘Very well,’ muttered Aggie. ‘Bridgerton it is. But don’t say I didn’t warn you, Hetty. Now, let’s order a pizza – I can’t be bothered to cook.’
Jemima giggled. ‘I think I fancy sausage on mine.’
The clock was chiming midnight and Jemima was stroking her hand reassuringly by the time Hetty had rallied enough to share her opinion.
‘Is that really what people think we used to get up to?’
‘Well, didn’t you?’ asked Aggie.
Hetty breathed out. ‘To be quite honest, I don’t wholly know. It certainly isn’t reflective of my life in the countryside.’
‘What about the costumes?’ asked Jemima. ‘People got quite cross about the costumes, you know.’
‘Well, they’re not right, no, but that seems of minor importance compared to the … the Bedroom Activities.’
She was blushing heavily, and so was Aggie, so Hetty decided to move on to other subjects.
‘I’m not sure the timelines quite match up with what I recall, but then it is quite obviously a work of fiction. And there was no mention of the advancements of the time. Why, I saw not one flushing privy! Surely people would be interested in that? I was so excited to see my first one!’
Aggie leaned back, taking a sip of wine.
‘You know, they never seem to think about things like that. I always wonder what everything smelled like, for example.’
‘Oh, awful, but then everyone was used to it, of course. Just as you are all accustomed to some of the inconveniences of this age.’
The aunts both blinked at her for a long second.
‘The inconveniences of this age?’ repeated Jemima disbelievingly.
‘Well, yes. I have noticed a few! I knew things would have advanced in some regards, but in others the world is quite behind where I had hoped it would be.’
‘Do elaborate, Hetty,’ said Aggie. ‘Where did you expect improvement?’
‘Well, while women of all classes do seem a lot more equal, we do also seem to still have much judgement on the way we look. Why, a gentleman – no, a scoundrel! – had the audacity to address me in the street just yesterday!’
Aggie delicately bit into a crisp, chewing thoughtfully. ‘Medicine is better, though, no?’
‘Oh, most definitely,’ said Hetty. ‘That really is excellent. But I must admit I am quite dismayed to see the advances made in the field of warfare.’
Jemima and Aggie were starting to look rather stricken. Hetty reached for another slice of pizza.
‘The food really is much better, though, Aunts! Such a delicious abundance of fat and sugar, and available to nearly all! Pineapples and bananas in every shop and even in the flavours of children’s sweeties! That’s fabulous news.’
Aggie put her bowl of crisps down. ‘I’m not sure that’s entirely good news, you know.’
‘No, it truly is,’ Hetty insisted. ‘I know not everyone has enough food to eat, and that is a real worry. But very few people are starving and malnourished, by comparison.’
‘Not none, though,’ said Jemima, frowning.
‘And the television. That truly is a remarkable invention. So much better than the printed word.’ Hetty backpedalled. ‘Come, don’t be cast down. Let us watch more of this Bridgerton. It really is most fascinating.’
Aggie picked up her wine glass, downing the lot in one, then picked up the remote.
‘One more before bed, Jemima? I think I’ll crack open another bottle of red.’