Chapter Six
Connor’s dad has money and connections in spades. Which is how he gets me a same-day appointment with the best omega specialist in the state.
He picks me up in a gas station parking lot not far from the school and drives me to the specialist’s office in Canterfield.
She works in the same hospital I was at before.
When he tries to make small talk, I ignore him and stare out the window at the passing landscape, sliding my jagged thumbnail against the pads of my fingers.
“I’m sorry, Lana. This is my fault.”
“No, it’s not.”
“I pressured him into coming. I never thought?—”
“Enough. He made his choice.”
“When do you plan on telling him?”
“I don’t.”
His hands tighten on the steering wheel. “You can’t keep it a secret forever.”
My lips tighten around a scream.
“He has a girlfriend.”
“A beta he’ll grow tired of in a month.”
“He’s in love with her.”
Mac sighs. “He thinks he is.”
The confirmation is a dagger sliding into my gut.
“He’s a boy. The bond you two have?—”
“Is broken.”
“You need to tell him. ”
“No.
“He’s been in a terrible mood all week.”
“I don’t give a fuck. If he rejects me again, I don’t think I’ll survive it. He loves Cassandra. He already made his choice when he didn’t show up.”
“If he knew, he would choose you?—”
I swing my head toward Mac. “ Don’t! This is hard enough as it is. Don’t give me false hope.”
“Let me tell him. I’ll talk some sense into him.”
“ No .”
“Lana—”
If Mac told Connor, he’d come to me. But I want to be chosen out of love, not duty or contrition. Not because I’m the option fate saddled him with.
“No. He knew what that ceremony meant. What could happen. He spent it with another woman. I can’t go through that again.
If you hadn’t found me, I don’t know—” I let the words go unspoken, but Mac knows well what happens when deeply rooted bonds go unanswered.
I wasn’t coming out of those woods on my own.
I like Doctor Kanata on sight. She has kind eyes and a hard mouth.
“Mac. What was so important that I’m staying late for a new patient appointment?”
He gestures to me and clears his throat.
“My son’s mate has bond sickness.”
“We’re not mated,” I growl.
“He…didn’t make it to the ceremony, but his scent was there.”
The doctor frowns and turns to me. “Who helped you through your first heat?”
“No one. I was alone.”
Her frown deepens. “And how long have you known Connor?”
“We’ve been close friends since childhood.”.
The doctor shoots Mac a look that could wither cacti, then gestures for me to follow her.
“Come on. I need to draw your blood, take your levels.”
After the lab processes my results, expedited at Dr. Kanata’s request, we sit together in a beige patient exam room decorated with tasteful prints of palm leaves.
I’m awkward atop the crinkly sheet of paper, trying not to rip it with my fidgeting.
There’s an infographic on the wall explaining hormonal changes during an omega’s heat cycle, next to an anatomical depiction of an alpha’s knot inflated inside an omega’s vagina.
Dr. Kanata folds her hands together and spins her stool toward me. “I need you to know that what your mate did is alpha neglect, and it’s taken very seriously. He could be reported for omega endangerment. The effect on your mate bond…you’ve suffered a serious trauma. Not unlike a death.”
“I don’t want to report him. I just want to make it through the rest of high school without a total breakdown.”
“Then we need to make a plan for you going forward.”
“What are my options? They put me on emergency blockers after…after. But they weren’t strong enough when I saw Connor.”
Dr. Kanata sighs. “To be frank, I rarely see bond sickness this bad. Usually, a bond this developed would form splendidly. But with your alpha’s absence during your first heat—very important to omega maturation—your hormones are all over the place.
You also have several vitamin deficiencies.
Both factors compromise your immune system.
Your body’s fighting a war with itself and losing.
It will take a while for you to begin to feel normal again, and normal may never be the same as it was before. ”
She spins back around and begins tapping at her keyboard. “There are two approaches we can take. The first is to let nature take its course. When your current suppressant load runs out, you’ll smell like an unmated omega. It’s highly likely Connor will recognize you as his mate.”
“You mean his biology will make him want to mate me.”
Kanata nods. I appreciate that she doesn’t beat around the bush.
“That’s not what I want.” I’ve had a week to imagine the ceremony going another way. Days of frenzied fucking and falling asleep wrapped in Connor’s arms. Then, when the fog cleared, the look of betrayal in his eyes. Maybe even disgust. It was enough to make me prefer his abandonment.
I shake my head. “I can’t. He’s in a relationship, and after what happened?—”
“It was traumatizing. I understand your hesitance. Even if you two did complete the bond now, it may not form well. And I value my patients’ mental health just as much as the physical. Do you think you and your alpha will be able to come to terms? Perhaps just meet up for heats?”
“No.”
“I don’t like to issue them to someone so young and freshly mated, but I could prescribe you a load of high-dose suppressants while you live and work in close proximity to this alpha. Are you planning on going away for college?”
“I’m planning to go wherever he isn’t.”
Kanata purses her lips. “Probably for the best. We can look at lowering your dose once your senior year is over. There are long-term side effects to consider. You need to come off the medication every six months to have a heat. Whether it’s assisted or not is up to you.
If you don’t taper off them periodically, the suppressants can build to toxic levels in your system and lead to unwanted side effects. ”
“Such as?”
“Headaches, nausea, breakthrough heats, loss of appetite, insomnia?—”
“Got it. I’ll read the list.”
I’d figure out how to skip my next heat later. Right now my concern is being able to go to class without having a complete meltdown.
“I can give you the first shot here in the office, but you’ll have to pick up the rest from a pharmacy. One of my nurses will demonstrate how to administer the shots yourself.”
“How long until it’s active?”
“Twenty-four hours.”
“And Connor won’t be able to recognize that I’m his mate, right?”
“No. You’ll smell different to him, but it shouldn’t trigger a rut.”
“Shouldn’t?”
“No medication is 100% effective. But it is, statistically, highly unlikely that Mr. Masters will recognize you as his mate.”
“Right. Besides statistical anomalies, is there anything else I need to be worried about?”
“Do you have insurance? The medication is expensive, especially at such a high dosage. I can give you some samples, but those only go so far.”
I laugh. I can’t help it. I was going to need to dig a bigger hole to accommodate this pile of shit. “No.”
“We have programs available for omegas in need?—”
“That require me to register my mate and status, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then no.”
Kanata frowns. “How do you plan to afford the prescription? Even if you get insurance, it’s hard to convince them to cover so many suppressants without documented strife between the alpha-omega pair. Do you have the means to afford them out-of-pocket?”
“I’ll figure something out.”
The doctor purses her lips.
“You’ve been through an extremely traumatic event. You need to give yourself grace and let your body recover. I’d also recommend weekly counseling, to begin with.”
I give her a non-committal nod.
“Ask the girl at the first desk to set you up with my associate for therapy appointments. She’ll get you sorted.”
I have no intention of doing that. I can’t afford the shots, let alone therapy. Right now I want to forget and move on, not hash out my issues with a stranger.
“Is that all?” I’m used to doctors being the ones in a hurry to leave, but Kanata’s sharp, knowing gaze is peeling me open like an onion.
“There’s one more thing. I’ve known Mac Masters a long time, and he’s a good man. But it’s not unheard of for parents to oppose mate pairings they deem…unsuitable. Are you under any pressure from your alpha’s father to keep your mated status a secret?”
I shake my head. “No. Mr. Masters has been very helpful. He’s in favor of telling his son.”
When I check out at the front desk, the receptionist tells me the bill’s been taken care of. I shoot daggers at Mac and take the receipt and my appointment card. We ride back to Crestwood in silence until Mac misses the turn to my house.
“Where are you going?”
“We’re getting your meds. Unless you’ve changed your mind?”
“No…but I don’t even know how much they’re going to cost.”
“I’ll pay for them. It’s the least I can do.”
My first instinct is to protest, but I keep my mouth shut. I need all the help I can get right now. Once I’m far away from Connor, I can figure out a solution that doesn’t rely on Mac Master’s wallet.