20. Adrian
Adrian
Expecting her to sit next to me, I scootch over.
When the lush warmth of her body lands in my lap, I damn near have to tug at my primal's leash to stop my tongue from swiping up her neck and over her scent gland.
Fuck, the image of my fist in her hair, that soft, perfect throat exposed, sends heat straight to my dick.
Fuck, no. Not now. Really, really not now. The last thing I need is my hard dick poking her ass. Ah, fuck…not helping.
Clearing my throat, I reach for my flannel to pull over her lap as she sits on mine.
"Cold?" Nodding, she snuggles closer to me, hand landing on my chest. For several seconds, my eyes are locked onto her: the shine to her long hair, the freckles on her cheeks and temples, how delicate her tiny hands are.
My omega is a literal goddess. Somehow, she's here with me, in my arms, settled safely in my lap.
Her cheek nudges my shirt, the fabric bunching ever so slightly, and it takes actual effort to not rip it off, so her cheek touches my bare skin in its place.
Shaking away my disbelief of her beauty and magnetism, I follow her gaze back out towards the sky, now a beautiful, unbelievable shade of reddish-orange.
Reaching over for my phone, I sneak a picture to send to the guys. Her deep red hair glows under the sunset, pale eyes a sharp contrast, adding a level of allure all of their own.
"Let's take a picture together!" Shit…so she definitely caught me taking her picture then, like a creep.
"Uh, yeah. Anything you want," I add with burning cheeks that I pray she doesn't notice.
Stretching my arm, I hold the phone out.
Our smiles fill the screen as she leans into me, placing her hand back on my pec, the gondola's windows and large seat providing a bright background.
The colors behind us are a bit more purple and orange than the sky directly ahead, perfectly opposing the yellow at our shoulders.
I take several in succession just in case, but at a quick glance, every single one of them is stunning, simply because she's in it.
"One more, please?" she asks, eyes innocent and big. Fuck, if she only knew the extreme degree of heinous acts I'd commit for her with that puppy-dog eyed look, I'd be done for.
"Of course, sweetheart."
Holding out my arm again, she leans in with a glint in her eye. Pressing the lower screen, a series of photos is captured, one after the other, mimicking a short film. Only at the last second, she turns, pressing her lips to my cheek.
An unexpected flash fills the space as my heart speeds up, opposite hand gripping her hip, holding to her me. "Cheeky little thing, aren't you omega?" I tease, surprised.
Her laugh fills the metal sphere, head tossed back with a glowing smile. Quickly moving my thumb, I manage to snap a photo before she even realizes it. I can't wait to look at it later.
"This is so great, thank you."
"I'm glad you enjoy it up here."
"Have you been up here before? Like, on the gondola, I mean?" she asks.
"Yeah, actually. This place has been open for a long time, way before the guys or I moved here.
" She serenely waits for me to continue, attention bouncing back to me from the view.
"I don't know, I used to come here fairly often when I first moved here.
I was still getting familiar with everything and where to go.
I just wanted places I knew I could go and be completely alone," I shrug.
"Why?"
I laugh, thumb rubbing my jaw, but it's humorless.
"I was a mess at the time. When I first moved here, I mean.
After everything with Natalie," saying her name is still hard, but I noticed it comes easier this time, "I guess I just needed that time to reflect.
And wallow in self-pity, frankly. I was still so pissed at the universe and…
at her, I guess. I came here because I knew I could be completely alone without any interruptions.
It's the same reason I've always spent so much time at the scenic overlook on the resort grounds. "
"You were still processing and found it more peaceful to be alone.
" It wasn't really a question, but I found myself agreeing all the same.
"I get that. I've always found being alone the only time I could really feel safe and at peace, too.
Until you guys came into my life." The flood of emotion that simple statement releases is enough to send goosebumps over my exposed skin.
"Why do you think that is?" I think I know why, but I'd really love to hear her speak more, learn all her stories and thoughts. Maybe even help her process if the time ever comes.
She hums, considering. "When I was younger, I had my mom.
She was the only person I felt safe with.
But after she died, I just had this gaping void in my heart.
Looking back, I'm pretty sure my father always hated me, so after she was gone, I had no one.
Not really, I mean. I didn't even really see him when we were both home.
He paid for me to go to the Omega Care Facility as soon as my designation hit.
There, I tried to make friends with other omegas at first," she sighs heavily.
"And I kind of did the first couple of years.
But after being there so long, so many other omegas had come and gone, rumors about me flew and grew more outrageous as time went on.
I gave up on finding friends. I was alone there, too.
I had people to talk to about certain things, like instructors and partnering coaches.
I even went out on our monthly free weekends, sometimes, out to bars in town with other omegas.
But I could never really be at peace with them, could never feel at ease around anyone.
I definitely didn't trust them. And, then, of course, after I was forced out and before Remi…
found me, I had only myself to rely on, only myself and Sparkles to talk to.
The idea of being in the presence of another person, at some point, had started to be scarier than being alone in my own comfort. "
"I'm so fucking sorry, Opaline. I'm so sorry you had to spend so many years alone, suffering. I wish we could have found you earlier, even if I hadn't been involved at all. I wish the guys had found you somehow."
"Honestly, I'm here now. You're here now. I'm not sure I would trade much, knowing this is where we all end up, together." She smiles, and it's just another reminder of how brave and strong my omega is.
I replay her words over and over, hand stroking her thigh and back in what I hope is a comforting manner. I've never been good at this stuff. This is Everette's strong point. I almost wish he were here instead for her sake. I'm not good at…talking.
"This is perfect, Adrian. Thank you so much for sharing this with me and bringing me here. Knowing it's special to you makes it mean even more."
She adjusts herself on my lap, facing me.
Seconds pass as our eyes trace the others' face, her perfect features lit up by the day's dying light.
The tension grows between us so thick that I could cut it with a knife, her cheeks growing more flushed as time passes.
Every part of me wants to grab her, fist her hair, and keep her exactly where I want her, legs wrapped around me as I claim her mouth.
I dream of seeing her lips red and pleasure swollen for everyone to know she's mine, and I'm the reason.
But as the hope slowly fades from her eyes, as she turns and situates herself facing away from me, I don't move. I sit frozen in place, fists trembling with restraint and so many other paralyzing emotions.
I realize with aching clarity, I'm terrified of this woman. Terrified that I will never be enough, never be the mate she really needs.
Because what she deserves is a hell of a lot better.
And if by the grace of the universe she does accept me as I am, what if…what if…
Images of Natalie's face and still body in my hands flood through me, sending nausea straight to my stomach. Her heavy body, soulless, with no heartbeat. Everything that made her who she was, suddenly gone, leaving behind an empty shell of flesh and bone.
Surely the world wouldn't be cruel enough to take two loves away from me? But, what if…it did?
Memories of the heartache, of the nights I spent feeling like my heart was physically falling apart in my chest, held together by strings, clog my throat. Blinking rapidly, I do my best to move past the barrage of images and lingering pain, clearing any fresh moisture from my eyes.
Realizing my scent might be twisted, I take deep breaths, balancing myself and coming back to the moment. I can't ruin this for her, for us.
If my arms holding her tight were the answer, I'd never let go.