39. Chapter 39
Chapter thirty-nine
Sutton
T he drive home is a blur.
I don’t even remember taking any of the turns because my mind is so caught up in fixing my mistakes.
My every thought on how to help Cooper. And my chest aches with the only real solution I could come up with.
I pull my car behind Cooper’s truck and cut the engine. He’s right through that door. The person I’d do anything for.
Leaving everything in my car but the damn tacos I had to buy him, I trudge up the sidewalk. My heart already aching. The front door opens, and Cooper’s bright smile is there to greet me.
“Where have you been, baby?” He wraps me up in a hug. “I’ve been worried.”
I hold out the grease-soaked bag. “I got you these.”
“Sutton, baby, you didn’t have to get me anything. Especially after that homemade video. That was enough to last you years without having to get me a gift.”
God, I love his smile.
I love his laugh. His endless pursuit of new places and things to experience. I even love those stupid Clark Kent glasses that I’m not one hundred percent sold on him needing.
But most of all, I love his heart. His tenderness that’s evident in everything he does, even the way he shows me every day how much he loves me.
Cooper takes the bag from me, setting it on the table. “What’s wrong?”
This is it. I have to do it now. If I don’t, I’ll never do what’s best for him.
I clutch at my throat, trying to find the right words to say.
“I think we should call it.”
His jaw hardens. “Call what?”
“Us. This”—I gesture between us—“clearly isn’t working.”
“What isn’t working? Where is this coming from?”
I give him a watery smile. “It’s for the best. It might not feel like it in this moment, but trust me when I say you’ll soon agree.”
“The hell I will. You aren’t doing this.”
I glance toward the door. “Cooper, please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
Hurt shines in his eyes. “Than what has to be? Say the goddamn words, Sutton, because if you are going to break my heart, you better be clear as fucking day about it.”
I swipe away a tear on my cheek. “I’m breaking up with you.”
“Why?” He grabs my hands and squeezes, imploring me to explain myself.
“Cooper…”
“No, tell me why?”
“Because I’m not good for you. You deserve more than someone who will rope you into half-baked schemes that hurt your career.”
I yank my hands free of his, watching as they drop between us while I take two steps backward, retreating from his warmth and tenderness.
I fucked up. I brought him into my life and ruined everything for him.
And now I have to be the one to fix it.
Part of fixing everything for him is to remove the source of his problems—me.
The hurt vanishes as anger takes over.
Good. Let him hate me. I can learn to live with his hate.
“No,” he barks, shaking his head. “You don’t get to end this over something as ridiculous as my job. And you sure as shit don’t get to take the blame for my lie that started long before we struck our bargain.”
“Yes I do.”
“No.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Cooper. You can’t force me to stay with you because you don’t accept that I’m breaking up with you.”
“If you had a good reason, I would accept it. If you didn’t love me, I would accept it. But we both know you do. And I love you. We can figure out my job stuff. That isn’t important. You and I, we are important.”
My heart pounds in my chest at a painfully quick pace. “Love isn’t always enough.”
“You really believe that?”
My chin threatens to quiver. “I do.”
His face is a mask of anger mixed with defeat. “Don’t do this, Sutton.”
My hands shake as I step out the front door and walk to my car.
He follows me, staying two steps behind me. “Please.”
My body hurts from holding back my tears as I climb into my car and lock the doors.
“We’re over? You and me, we aren’t something you can throw away whenever it gets hard. Run away all you want, Sutton, but you and I aren’t over.”
“Tell yourself whatever you want, but I’m done.” Tears crest and fall as I back out into the street, refusing to give myself one last glance in his direction. I don’t deserve to see him.
I don’t bother to call or warn Vivian that I’m coming over. Instead, I use the emergency key she gave me to her and Nate’s home, letting myself inside.
Flinging the door open, I announce, “I broke up with Coop.”
“Sutton!” Vivian’s scream pierces the air as I catch sight of my best friend’s husband’s ass. Vivian’s positioned in front of him on the ledge of the couch, with her legs wrapped around his waist and her heels resting above said ass.
What are the chances I’d walk in on the same two people making sweet, sweet love—because that’s what Viv and Nate do; they don’t fuck, they make love—twice in one lifetime, in different places, nonetheless.
I wish I could say I avert my eyes immediately, but I don’t. I stand there in pure shock, staring at Nate’s nice ass. That is, until Nate leans forward, causing the both of them to topple over the edge and onto the couch.
“Oh my God.” I run over to them, leaving the door wide open behind me. “Are you guys okay?”
“Sutton,” Nate growls. “Turn around and close the damn front door.”
“Oh.” I scramble back to the entryway, shutting it quickly. I shield my eyes before facing them again. “Sorry, guys. But in my defense, who goes to pound town at six on a weeknight.”
Vivian lets out an exasperated sigh. “Married people. Who live alone.”
That tracks. “I’m sorry, if you want to finish, I can go sit in my car.”
“Don’t bother,” Nate says, his voice laced with irritation.
The rustling of fabric fills the empty space, and I swear I hear what sounds like a kiss. Maybe they did decide to finish. Oh God, what if they are continuing while I’m in the room as a punishment for me walking in on them.
The temptation to find out is strong, but I’m too scared to peek out from my fingers.
The sound of footsteps padding down the hall fades until a door shuts.
“You can look now,” Vivian tells me.
I scissor my fingers and peek through the opening to find my best friend sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her like a towel. Her hair is a mussed-up mess. And I almost feel bad for interrupting her from getting dicked down. Almost. But I have bigger problems. I’m holding myself together by tattered threads.
“Did Nate go to get dressed?”
She shakes her head. “Cold shower.”
I laugh, then wipe my nose.
“Come here.” She opens her arms, and I run around the side of the couch and into her embrace.
I can’t stop the tears the moment she wraps me in a hug.
She doesn’t ask me anything or try to placate me. She simply rubs a hand through my hair and down my back, letting me cry until all my tears dry up.
“What happened?” she murmurs a while later, having put on some clothes. Cuddling under a different blanket than the one she had been covering herself with earlier, I snuggle in deeper.
“I realized I loved him too much to destroy his life.”
“You aren’t destroying shit.”
“Viv, you didn’t see the pure look of defeat on his face when he came by my office.”
She sits there silently, her face soft and open as she listens to me.
“I did that. And I couldn’t live with myself if I continued to bring him down with me.”
“Bring him down with you? What are you talking about? You, my dearest friend, are above us all. You are an angel that fell from heaven and walks among us mere mortals, gifting us with your dazzling presence.”
“Can you not. I need serious Vivian. Not hype-woman Vivian.”
“No, apparently you need hype-woman Vivian, because I won’t stand for you talking about yourself in anything but a positive manner. You are my best friend, my platonic soulmate. My first true love. You are amazing in every way imaginable.”
“Viv…”
“No, you need to hear this. None of this is your fault. You are a gift to have in my life, and I am sure Cooper considers you to be the same.”
“Okay.”
“Repeat after me, I make others’ lives better by being in them.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes. Now do it.”
“I make others’ lives better by being in them,” I grumble. “Happy?”
“Very,” she beams. “I know your faith in men has been practically nonexistent after all the dumb shit your dad used to pull growing up, but Cooper isn’t him. He isn’t going to let you down.”
I wipe my nose with the back of my hand. “I know. I just don’t want to let him down anymore.”
“You won’t. You’ll learn from this tiny mistake because you are the smartest woman I know.”
We sit like that for hours. Vivian making me talk about how awesome I am and refusing to take any Sutton slander.
It’s 10 p.m. when Nate finally resurfaces from their bedroom. He strides into the living room wearing a pair of dark sweatpants and an old Fisher Landscaping hoodie. “Baby, are you and Sutton having a sleepover in the living room or in our room?”
“Our room, please.” She flashes him her teeth.
Nate leans down and brushes a kiss across her lips. “If you need me, I’ll be in the guest room.”
“Goodnight,” she says longingly as she watches him walk away.
Hopping her ass off the couch, she grabs a hold of my wrist and pulls me up with her. “Go make us popcorn and meet me in my bedroom while I go set everything up.”
I salute her. “Aye aye, captain.”
Grabbing the popcorn from the pantry, I sniffle and wipe my nose for the millionth time in the past hour before sticking the bag in the microwave, watching it like a hawk to make sure it doesn’t burn.
I stop the microwave with thirty seconds to spare, then pour the hot, perfectly buttered contents into a bowl. After snagging a couple of waters out of the fridge, I make my way to Nate and Viv’s room.
I feel kind of bad for kicking the man out of his own bed, but sometimes, a girl needs her best friend. And I’m thankful she’s married to a man who understands that.
Walking into the room, I find Vivian already tucked underneath the covers on what I know isn’t her side of the bed. Eyeing her warily, I set a drink on the nightstand closest to her before moving to the other side of the bed. “What are you doing over there?”
“I don’t want to miss Nate.”
“So you’re sleeping on his side?”
“It smells like him.”
“Creep.”
She tosses a pillow at me.
“Hey, watch it.” I move my body to protect the bowl of perfectly popped corn.
“Whatever, pass me the goods.” She makes grabby hands at me.
I give her the bowl and climb underneath the covers beside her. “What are we watching?” I ask as she picks up the remote.
“As if you don’t already know.”
“Freddie?”
“Freddie,” she confirms and presses play. And in no time, our favorite late nineties/early two thousands actor appears on the screen as we watch him navigate playing baseball and falling in love like our lives depend on it.
Halfway through the movie, I look over at Vivian. “You’re going to make an amazing mom.”
A warm glow washes over her as she smiles. “Thank you.”