Chapter 34
Briar
I drank my glass of wine and didn’t taste a drop.
I poured the next glass and drank it just as quickly.
The glass landed hard against the counter, and I ignored the fact that I had almost smashed it with the force of placing it down.
I paced my apartment. Anger, resentment, and frustration surged through me, with each emotion battling for control, but I only became a mass of tangled feelings.
I thought over everything Noah had said. Everything he had agreed to. Agreed, with no right to agree to any of it.
I picked up my phone and called my brother.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asked cheerfully.
Fuck. Mason was cheerful? Was I really going to jeopardize that? Yes. He deserved to know.
“Noah made a deal.” I sounded blunt. Flat. Hurt.
Yeah. All the things.
Mason let out a breath. “There more to this story, Bri?”
I told him everything Noah had told me. Because while I had been astounded at his audacity, making this decision for us, I had heard every word he’d said. Mason didn’t interrupt, and he didn’t say anything when I finished.
“Mase?”
I heard my brother clear his throat. “An interview.”
He, too, sounded flat.
“Yeah.” I waited. “I’m sorry.”
“Why? The guy has balls. He met me once, and he stuck his neck out for me. For you. And you get to leave there, with no police escort.”
I frowned as he spoke. “Mason, this doesn’t—”
“It doesn’t fix my broken leg,” he cut me off.
“It doesn’t fix that I had to stop playing.
I get my name cleared, and it changes nothing.
What did you think would happen?” He gave a low laugh.
“This is what I told you when you got a job there. Nothing changes for me. Why do you sound upset that the outcome was any different?”
And that was the harsh reality.
Nothing for Mason had changed at all.
“Well, I think some good can come of them making sure you hadn’t done anything,” I protested bitterly.
“Why? I always knew the truth. So did you, and so did Tiff.”
Why wasn’t he angry?
“Why are you so calm?” I demanded.
“Calm?” Mason’s laughter was bitter. “I don’t think I’ve been calm for a long time. This actually helps. I will never like Coach Sutherland, and sure, I don’t agree he was oblivious to the slander that came after, but it’s actually nice to know that they knew I didn’t hurt her like that.”
“He’s still probably the one who let the rumor circulate,” I reminded my brother sharply.
“Yeah, but I’m with your guy, I believe Sutherland in this.” He made a sound that was part snort, part laugh. “Sorry, I know you want me to rage and curse, but, honestly, Bri, I think your guy did us a huge favor. And he didn’t have to. Now pack up, leave it behind you, and come home.”
We said our goodbyes, and I stood in the middle of my apartment, phone in my hand as I mulled it all over.
Come home.
I wasn’t ready to come home. Was I ready to stop the pretense of why I was here? Maybe. No, not maybe, definitely.
Mason appreciated what Noah had done. It was that simple to him, but I still had a nagging feeling about it all.
What had it cost Noah? And why was I still so mad at him for doing it?
I grabbed my keys and headed out. I needed to talk to someone, but I just didn’t know who.
I met them as they crossed the quad. They looked as angry and bewildered as I felt.
“Hey.” I greeted them as I came to a stop.
Dante gave me a nod, his hand gripped Savannah’s tightly. Hadley looked like she was ready to come apart at the seams, and her boyfriend looked worried that he wouldn’t be able to put her back together again.
“He told you?” Savannah guessed.
“He did.” I rocked back on my heels as I looked at each of them. “I told Mason.”
Dante looked at me. “And how did he take it?”
I felt a surge of guilt. I’d built this around getting him something he hadn’t asked for.
“Happy?” Dustin guessed. “I know I would be,” he added defensively when Hadley glared at him.
“Yeah.” I pushed my hair out of my face; I had no reason to keep my head down now, after all. I’d fooled no one. “He said I can put it behind me and come home.”
“What about Tiffany?” Hadley demanded.
I looked down at the ground. “I think . . . God, I hate saying this, but I think they’re right.” I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it. “Maybe we’ll never know. The only person who knew, or at least I hope she did,” I added in a whisper, “was Tiff.”
“And the guy who hurt her,” Hadley spat.
I didn’t say what her two friends didn’t say either. We’d never know if there was a guy.
“I don’t think she made it up,” Savannah said, her voice low but laced with conviction. “I’ve been thinking about it, ever since Noah dropped his bombshell on us earlier. Coach Sutherland never said he didn’t believe her either. He said it never happened there. And Noah believes him. And I—”
“You believe him?” Hadley asked, aghast.
“No.” Savannah looked up and met my gaze. “I believe Noah.”
“Then there’s still someone to be held accountable!” Hadley raged.
I nodded, but I also knew what no one else was saying — without Tiffany, where did we start looking? Despite all his evilness — and he was evil — Coach Sutherland would have looked into it.
And he found nothing.
We had a whole lot of nothing and very little something. I felt even more helpless than I had four years ago.
“He made the deal for you,” Dante spoke for the first time.
Yeah. I knew that too.
“I think he thinks he solved everyone’s problems,” I said with a sneer.
“Are you leaving?” Savannah asked.
“I have no reason to stay.”
Four pairs of eyes looked at me, and I saw each one question me.
I looked away. “I’m going to Digby’s. Anyone here legal to drink?” They all shook their heads. “Well, that blows.”
Dante actually smiled. “Not legal doesn’t mean we can’t.”
We started walking toward the bar. “Will you get into trouble?” I asked as we reached the door.
Dante shrugged. “Tonight? I no longer care.”
The girls ordered soda, Dustin took a beer and so did Dante. The servers placed glasses of soda on the table, and when I went to object, Dante shook his head slightly.
When they’d gone, he pointed at the surplus soda. “That’s the workaround.”
It was a stupid one. The two guys didn’t hide that they were drinking from the bottles of beer. Yet they’d technically not been served alcohol. Everyone involved knew the truth, and all chose to look away.
Is that what Noah had done? Chosen to give us a workaround that suited the situation?
I didn’t like it.
“Are you quitting?” Hadley asked me quietly.
I nodded. “Yeah. He gave me an out. I’d be foolish not to take it. Not when Sutherland’s you know . . .”
“The antichrist?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
She slapped her hand on the table. “It sucks so bad.” She shook her head. “I’m glad for Mason,” Hadley said, but her voice cracked around it. “I am. I just hate that this is all anyone gets.”
We all nodded in agreement.
“Do you have another job?” Dante asked, trying to be his usual charming self.
“No. I . . .” Shit. I hadn’t given that any thought either. “I really don’t.”
“Maybe you can work to the end of the term?” Savannah offered quietly.
“No. I think his leniency is a short-term offer.” Again, four heads bobbed in agreement. “Where is he?” I looked at each of them. “Noah?”
Dante was looking over my head toward the door. “I thought he was still with you.”
“So he hasn’t come home?”
Where would he go? I pulled my phone out of my pocket.
Me: With your friends. Where are you?
He didn’t answer. I think I knew where he was; I just couldn’t get there, and I wasn’t sure what to say to him if I saw him.
‘Thank you’ wasn’t the answer.
But neither was ‘fuck you.’
“Do any of you want to talk about it?” I asked softly.
“All of us do,” Dustin said, tipping his bottle back and draining it. “But what do we say?”
“We could say no,” Hadley grumbled.
“Why are you so upset?” I asked her outright. “What are you rallying against? The fact you didn’t get to see it burn down?”
She thought about it. “Yeah.”
“It would never have worked like that,” I told her. “They’d get a fine. A warning. Some penalties and stipulations. But they know how to maneuver.”
“You don’t know that,” Hadley argued quietly. “If you did, you wouldn’t have risked everything to come here.”
“I risked it because I wanted my brother’s name cleared.” I finished my wine. “Noah has arranged that. I just need you to write the story.”
She looked like she was ready to argue, but Dante cut in. “You suspected the coach?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know what, or who, I suspected.
” I didn’t know. I knew what I’d been angry about.
I knew what I’d wanted someone to pay for.
I wasn’t sure they were the same thing. “I knew I had to come here and look for myself. And . . . I really hate it, but I agree with Savannah. I trust Noah’s gut. ”
“Did you tell him?” Savannah asked. “Did you tell him that?”
I shook my head. “No. I told him to leave.”
Her mouth formed an O, but she said nothing. None of us said anything, and this was the most depressed I’d ever been in a bar.
I slid out of the booth. “I’m not good company, sorry.” I laid a twenty on the table. “For the drinks.”
It wasn’t enough for them all, but it was enough for now.
I walked back to my apartment, the fresh air waking up my senses.
I felt a little sluggish, a little slow.
Not with the alcohol. With the specific weight of having spent months in a place I hated and leaving with less than I came for.
I was so angry with him. Why? Because he took my choice away from me? From us? Yes. Maybe. I didn’t know.
By making an agreement with the antichrist — I choked back a laugh at Hadley’s reference — had he protected the very institution we were rallying against? That was my issue. Not the agreement. Not the fact that one guy had taken matters into his hands.
But who had he done it for? Me? Mason? His friends?
I didn’t know. He said it was for all of the above. But what if it was for his team?
His football team.
His career.