Chapter Eight
The smell of the muffins filled the kitchen, and normally it would ease Rachel’s emotions, but even that small comfort couldn’t quiet Rachel’s thoughts.
She kept returning to every word Nate had spoken, every sharp look, every careful distance he placed between them.
She had known he didn’t want this marriage.
Knowing was one thing; feeling it in every corner of his house was another.
She felt as if she’d been passed around, no one wanting to take on the responsibility themselves. Rachel hated that.
Maybe Nate was innocent, given he didn’t know about the letters, either, but she still felt some resentment toward him.
He did not have to welcome the marriage with open arms, but surely, he could offer her some measure of kindness.
They might have found a way to get along, perhaps even become friends, if he had not seemed so determined to keep her at a distance.
If he was going to behave like this, then she wasn’t going to try. It was up to him to reach out and start making things right.
It was mid-morning when there was a knock at the door. Rachel stilled, her hands covered in flour from the kneading. Who could be coming here? Whoever had come was likely looking for Nate, and she was in no mood to face curious eyes or questions about a marriage she barely understood herself.
But it was Isabelle and Jack. Both were bundled up for the weather, their cheeks flushed from the cold. Isabelle beamed at her.
“Morning! Did you sleep well?”
“I…” Rachel barely got a chance to reply before the woman swept into the room. “Please, come in,” she murmured.
“The children are with Jack’s parents for the day, so I thought we’d come and help you out.” Isabelle turned to him, shrugging out of her coat. “Seeing as Nate has work to do, you shouldn’t be alone. Jack and I can help.”
“That…”
Rachel floundered, glancing at Jack. He gave her a sheepish smile and shrugged.
“Isabelle felt guilty for how she brought you here, and she knows you’ve been thrown into the deep end of the lake, so to speak. She wants to make sure you’re settled, and you know what’s going on around here.”
“That’s very kind,” Rachel whispered, her cheeks getting warm. She didn’t know what to say beyond that.
Jack took off his coat, hanging Isabella’s up too. Then he sniffed the air.
“Have you been baking?”
“I’ve been making bread and muffins.” Rachel led them into the kitchen, where the huge spread was on display.
“The ingredients were in the pantry, and I needed something to do, but I went a little overboard with baking.” The rhythm of kneading and measuring had steadied her better than prayer had that morning, giving her something familiar to hold on to while Nate’s cold distance pressed at the edges of her mind.
Isabelle gasped.
“This looks incredible! You said you worked in a bakery, didn’t you?”
“And I love it. It’s a passion of mine.”
Isabelle picked up one of the muffins and bit into it. She made an approving noise.
“Now that is delicious. You should sell these.”
“Wouldn’t I get into trouble with the baker in town?” Rachel asked.
“I’m sure we can work something out. These are delightful.” Isabelle handed a muffin to her husband. “Have a taste, Jack.”
Jack took a tentative bite first and then finished the whole muffin in two bites. Rachel tried to fight back a smile. He looked like a squirrel stuffing his face, and there was something oddly endearing about how seriously he ate the muffin.
“Now those are mouth-watering,” he declared. “I want to eat the whole lot.”
“Not without ruining your dinner,” Isabelle scolded gently. “Are you going to keep these fresh for yourself and Nate, Rachel?”
“You can take a few, if you want,” Rachel said, looking from husband to wife and back again. “I’m sure your children would be happy to have some.”
“If Jack hasn’t eaten them all,” Isabelle said with a glance at her husband. She finished her muffin. “Right, let’s get to it. I did tidy up and sort things out for you, but I’m sure you need a general idea of what is needed. Did you learn to keep house growing up?”
“A little.”
Rachel felt as if she was being treated like a child, but she couldn’t admit to herself that she needed help. Rachel knew nothing of Nate’s habits, his preferences, or the rules of his house, and the thought of disappointing him again made her stomach tighten.
Despite the part Isabelle had played in bringing her here, it was easy to fall into step alongside her. She was insightful and patient, and she showed Rachel what to do without making her feel foolish. There was a steadiness in her that made Rachel relax.
While Jack stayed out of the way, helping himself to muffins, Isabelle showed Rachel the chores. None of it was as complicated as Rachel had feared. Once she understood the order of things, she could imagine managing the house without disaster.
She wondered what housewives did once the chores were done.
At the orphanage, there had always been another tray to fill, another child to feed, another task waiting before the first was done.
Here, the quiet felt differently. Perhaps she could bake more, or visit the library, or even take walks once she knew the town better.
For the first time in years, Rachel might have time that belonged only to her. Perhaps she could even get a job.
Would Nate accept her taking a job? It was possible. He might even prefer it if it meant she was not underfoot all day, reminding him of the marriage neither of them had chosen.
“Rachel.” Isabelle turned to her on the stairs as they made their way back down. “I’m sorry about what happened. I… I didn’t mean anything malicious by what I did. I just wanted my brother to be happy.”
“It’s not that I don’t understand why you did it,” Rachel said, leaning leaned on the banister, “It’s just that you made me think that something was going to happen, and that Nate was agreeable. Both you and Miss Shaw did that to us.”
Isabelle looked chastised.
“I know, and I’m really sorry. I just worry about Nate. He’s been on his own a long time. He even pulls away from Jack, and they have been best friends all their lives.”
“You wanted a babysitter?”
“No, not like that!” Isabelle hurried on, holding up her hands.
“I’ve looked after Nate since he was a baby, especially after our father died.
I don’t want to be a mother to him, but the habit is hard to break.
There are times when I can’t be there for him, and I want to be sure he has someone to turn to that isn’t me. Not that he’s done that much lately.”
Rachel frowned.
“You’re just wanting him to have a companion, of sorts?”
“Something like that. I know Nate says he prefers being alone, but I know he wants someone around. I’ve got my own family, and Nate feels like he’s intruding at times. He shouldn’t have to isolate himself.”
Rachel let this sink in. She could see the logic, but it did not soften the sting of being tricked.
She and Nate had both been pushed into a marriage neither of them had chosen, and resentment would not undo it now.
Somehow, they would have to make a life out of it, or at least learn to share the same roof without wounding each other at every turn.
“Why don’t we go out for a walk?” Isabelle said brightly, carrying on down the stairs. “The snow isn’t that bad right now, so we can walk around and I can show you the stores you didn’t see before.”
“That would be nice.” Rachel joined her, looking toward the kitchen door. “Is Jack coming with us?”
“He’s got to head to work. He works at one of the ranches on the outskirts of town looking after the horses.”
“I’m surprised he could get the morning off.” Rachel looked to Isabelle.
“So am I, but I’m not going to argue. With the snow as it is, the horses aren’t taken out as much.
Rachel wondered what it would be like to have a marriage like Isabelle and Jack’s.
Isabelle clearly ruled the household in her own way, but there was no mistaking the affection between them.
It lived in the small things: the teasing, the shared looks, the ease of two people who knew exactly where they stood with each other.
She wouldn’t have that herself, but it was a nice dream.
Jack joined them shortly after and headed off, giving Isabelle a kiss and Rachel a smile before trudging off in the snow.
Isabelle and Rachel began to walk along the street, heading toward the main stores.
The snow dusted everything, and Rachel kept slipping on the ice.
She was surprised she hadn’t fallen and injured herself.
The two of them ended up giggling as they tried to find solid ground.
“I never can get used to the winter weather,” Rachel said as they managed to get onto the sidewalk without falling.
“Thankfully, we don’t have snow all year round. During the spring and summer, it’s absolutely beautiful.” Isabelle looked toward the mountains. “I couldn’t think of a better place to live. It’s just beautiful around here.”
“I can’t argue with that.” Rachel shivered as the wind whipped around them. “Although right now, with all this snow, it’s downright cold.”
“You get used to it. It’s a close community, and we look out for everyone.”
Rachel let that sink in. Even living in a neighboring town and the weather was similar, t felt like she’d been living in a completely different world.
She’d grown up all her life around other children who didn’t have parents, and they’d become her siblings.
She lost count of how many brothers and sisters she had over the years.
She made a mental note to write a letter to them, to assure them that she’d arrived and she was fine.
Although she would have to write a separate letter to Miriam. One where she would pour out her thoughts and opinions. She was still upset by what happened, and Rachel was about to make her feelings clear. She might have had her heart in the right place, but Miriam had betrayed her trust.
So had Isabelle, and the woman seemed to be working hard to rectify it right now.
“Has it always just been you and Nate in your family?” she asked as they turned onto the main street, a few other people milling around. “Apart from Jack and your children, I mean.”
“Yes, it’s just us two. Mother died giving birth to Nate, so until about fifteen years ago, it was us and our father.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Isabelle shrugged.
“She was already fragile. Between my birth and Nate, she’d had three miscarriages and one stillbirth.”
“Isn’t there three years between you two?”
“There is. She was exhausted by the time she gave birth to Nate, and her body just… gave up.” She gulped. “After giving birth to my two, and not suffering anything bad beyond that, I can only imagine what she went through.”
Rachel listened to stunned amazement. She’d wanted to talk to Nate about himself and his upbringing, but he’d avoided her most of the time since they arrived at his house, and when she thought they were going to start talking that morning, Nate had made himself scarce.
She could feel her heart aching for the little boy who grew up without a mother.
She knew that all too well.
“It was tougher on Nate more than me,” Isabelle continued. “Father blamed Nate for Mother’s death.”
“What? Why?”
“Because it was his birth that took the last of Mother’s strength.
For a time, I blamed him as well, but I came to realize that he was an innocent baby who couldn’t have done anything.
He didn’t deserve to be blamed for something that he couldn’t control.
But Father wouldn’t change his mind. He was incredibly cold to Nate, and treated him badly.
” Isabelle clapped her gloved hands together, her breath forming in the air.
“When he died, I was seventeen and Nate was fourteen. He was angry and sullen after what Father put him through, and it took a long time to get him to put it behind him.”
“And you’ve looked after him his whole life?”
“I’ve practically been his mother. It shouldn’t have happened, but someone needed to protect him. He didn’t deserve Father’s wrath.” Isabelle sighed sadly. “I loved him, but my father wasn’t one to listen to reason. It was almost a relief when he died. Is that a bad thing to say?”
Rachel shrugged.
“I don’t think I’m in a position to say. I don’t know my parents.”
“Maybe, in a way, you had a better upbringing. At least you didn’t get raised by people who resented you and wanted nothing to do with you but couldn’t be bothered to send them away to others who could raise you.”
“I…” Rachel floundered for a moment. “I don’t know what to say to that.”
“You don’t need to say anything.” Isabelle gave her a sad smile. “It’s just what happened to us, and I like to think we’ve done well since. Nate’s the town marshal now, and he’s very good at what he does. I have my own family, and children of my own. We’ve grown up despite what we went through.”
Rachel let this sink in. She hadn’t thought about it like that. Maybe she’d been lucky as well, even if she hadn’t been adopted.
“Anyway,” Isabelle said brightly, taking her arm. “I’ll take you into each of the stores. You can meet everyone. Although from what you’ve said, I’m going to have to keep a close eye on you in the library.”
Rachel couldn’t help but laugh at that.
“I’m not going to get lost in a library.”
“I wouldn’t want to try it out.”
They were both laughing as they entered the first store. Rachel surmised maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, after all. Despite what Isabelle had done, she meant well and she was a good person. She just wanted the best for those she cared about.
Nate would understand that eventually. Hopefully.