Chapter Ten
Rachel closed her eyes in frustration when she heard Nate shouting after her. Of course he would be out and about. She’d hoped she could make it back before he realized she was gone. She didn’t want to interact with him longer than she had to after the previous evening.
She didn’t appreciate her efforts to help being thrown back in her face.
She kept walking, concentrating on every step. Her skirt was already soaked from the snow, and all she wanted was to get home and set up the fire so she could get warm.
“Rachel! Wait!”
Footsteps were getting closer and quicker. Gritting her teeth, Rachel stopped and waited for Nate to come into view. There was no point in walking away; he could easily keep up with her. His eyebrows were drawn together in a scowl, his dark eyes practically glowing as he glared at her.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m getting some firewood. We’re about to run out, and I didn’t want us to freeze.” Rachel adjusted her hold. “I didn’t want to beg, but the general store manager said he could let me have it if you paid him later. I didn’t think you’d mind, seeing as…”
“All right, fine,” Nate said briskly, waving a hand to silence her. “But you shouldn’t be out here. You’re going to freeze!”
“And you think I’m not going to live in the house with no wood?” Rachel challenged. “There was none in our woodshed, and I didn’t want to go asking you where the axe was, as I couldn’t find it. I didn’t want to bother you, and I just wanted to help.”
Nate snorted.
“You should’ve told me. I would’ve gotten it all. There’s a bad storm coming, and you shouldn’t be out here.”
Rachel felt like they were going round in circles. She turned to him, lowering the wood pile a little to glare at him.
“I am not a child, nor am I incapable,” she said stiffly. “I can do things on my own, and I don’t need to run everything by you.”
“That’s not what…”
“I grew up with similar weather, and I came through it without any problems. I think I can handle going about my own business.” She raised her eyebrows. “Unless you want both of us to freeze to death because you won’t let me do something to help us out?”
She could see him floundering, and she decided not to wait for the rest of the argument. If he had something to say, they could do it at home.
As she turned away, her foot caught on a patch of ice. She wobbled, fighting for balance, but the wood shifted in her arms and threw her weight backward. A scream tore from her throat, only to break as Nate caught her hard against him.
The wood flew from her arms and scattered across the snow while Rachel clutched at him, breathless and shaken, trying to find her footing again.
“Stop wriggling, or we’ll both end up on the ground.” Nate helped her to her feet and turned her around. “Take a moment, deep breaths.”
“I’m fine,” she grumbled, but he shook his head.
“Your heart must be racing right now. You need to wait for it to slow so you can continue.”
He was right. Her heart was pounding so hard that every beat seemed to throb inside her skull.
She gripped his arms and lowered her head, fighting to get her breath back.
The world tilted unpleasantly, the shock of nearly falling leaving her lightheaded.
She could have hurt herself badly. If Nate hadn’t been there…
Rachel swallowed hard, hating the thought almost as much as she hated needing him.
A stubborn part of her wished he had not come after her at all.
Then she might not have been so flustered.
Then perhaps she would not have slipped in the first place.
“Rachel?” Nate’s voice was soothing now. “Are you better now?”
“I…”
Rachel was trying to figure out what was going on in her head. It was like her thoughts were swirling around, jumbled up and unable to untangle. But one thought had jumped out at her, and she couldn’t get rid of it.
She liked the feel of him holding her. And that was something she wasn’t entirely comfortable with.
“You’re not hurt, are you?” His eyes searched her face. “You haven’t injured your ankle?”
“I’m fine.” Rachel straightened up slowly, getting her balance back. “No harm done.”
Then she groaned at the sight of the wood scattered around. She’d been proud of herself getting it all outside, and she was prepared to carry everything home. Now it was going to be an age to pick everything up, especially when her gloves were already soaked, and her fingers cold.
“I’ll pick these up,” Nate said, bending over to collect the wood nearest him.
“There’s no need…”
“Get what you can and then hurry home. I’ll bring the rest. You need to get inside and get warm, so if you set up a fire…”
“I can manage.” Rachel snatched a piece of wood from him. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
Sighing, he held up his hands and stepped back. Rachel ignored him as she picked up the rest of the wood, aware that he was collecting the rest. Part of her was annoyed that he wasn’t listening, but she was also glad. It was easier with the pile being smaller.
They headed back to the house, Rachel being more careful with her footing. Nate walked alongside her, looking as if he wanted to reach out and steady her. After the reaction a moment ago, when he rescued her from a nasty fall, she wasn’t sure she could cope if that happened again.
Surely, it couldn’t occur a second time.
They finally arrived at the house, and they hurried inside, stamping the snow off their boots. Rachel grimaced as she took them off.
“I think my stockings are soaked through.”
“Take them off and stick your feet by the fire once we’re done,” Nate said, taking off his Stetson and hanging it up.
“Isn’t that… inappropriate?”
He gave her a slight smile.
“I’m your husband. I don’t think it would be considered inappropriate anymore.” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, Rachel”
He did have a point, but she still felt uncomfortable.
She hurried across to the fire and began to lay it out.
Nate stored the rest of it in the corner of the room before shaking his coat off.
Rachel’s fingers were stiff and cold as she laid the wood, tugging her gloves off with her teeth.
They were dripping cold. It was hard to make her fingers bend willingly, but she managed it.
She finally got the fire laid, and Nate lit it, urging her to her feet as the fire began to take hold.
“Go and change,” he urged. “You’re soaked to the skin. Did you fall before I found you?”
“I tripped on the edge of the sidewalk,” Rachel mumbled. “The snow was so thick…”
He sighed and turned her around.
“Just go. You don’t want to get sick.”
Rachel felt like she was being talked to as if she was a child, but she was too cold to complain. Stumbling upstairs, she managed to get another dress out of the wardrobe and change. She slipped her stockings off, her feet tingling as they started to dry. She couldn’t feel her toes.
At least she didn’t look too bad when she checked herself in the mirror. Her hair was a little mussed, and her cheeks were flushed, but she didn’t look as if she’d been dragged through a hedge.
Wait, why was she looking in a mirror in the first place? What was wrong with her?
Heading back downstairs, Rachel found Nate sitting in a chair that he’d drawn up with the settee to the fire. He held up a steaming mug.
“I’ve made some coffee. You’re going to need it.”
“Thank you.”
Rachel sat on the settee and laid out her stockings on the floor near the fire. Then she took the mug from Nate, careful not to touch him by accident. It felt incredible having the heat wrap around her, hot coffee sliding down her throat. She sighed in relief.
“Now that’s better.”
“Why didn’t you go out to the wood shed to get some more wood?” Nate asked. “I’m sure we’ve got plenty.”
She shook her head.
“I went out there to look, but there was barely any left. I think after running the fires constantly, the supply dwindled down pretty quickly.”
“Really? Oh.” He frowned. “I’m sure I cut some a couple of weeks ago.”
“It must be used a lot at this time of year,” Rachel remarked. “I knew the general store would have some, as I wasn’t about to go venturing out into the woods to find firewood when I didn’t know the area.”
“That was wise.” Nate rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you. I was just concerned when I woke up and didn’t find you in the house.”
She gave him a wry smile.
“Did you think I’d left you?”
“It wouldn’t have surprised me if you had. Given the way I’ve been treating you.”
“I don’t blame you for that. I didn’t go into this knowing…”
Nate held up a hand.
“I know you didn’t, and it’s not your fault. We’re both victims of Isabelle’s machinations.”
“She did it because she loved you, and she was worried. I’m sure you know that she just wants the best for you.”
He shook his head, sipping his coffee with a scowl. “You might be right, but I don’t much care for her methods.”
Rachel stared at him, wondering what he meant by that.
Then she wondered if it was something to do with his father and how he’d been brought up for the first fourteen years.
It had to be heartbreaking to be treated badly by a parent who blamed their child for something that couldn’t be controlled.
She wanted to reach out and comfort him, but she decided against it.
She wriggled her toes and stuck her bare feet toward the fire. They were beginning to warm, and she could feel the heat spreading across her feet. Nate sat back and crossed his legs.
“Anyway, you will need to stay in the house until the storm passes,” he said. “It’s not that far away, and it’s likely to last a day, at the very least.”
“Do the storms usually last that long?” Rachel asked.
“The longest was a week, and that was when I was about twelve.” Nate made a face. “I don’t mind snow, but that was the longest week of my life. Stuck in a house with two people who get on your nerves after a while when you haven’t got an escape.”
Rachel smiled.
“You should try the orphanage. Whether it’s rain or shine, you can barely get any privacy. Until you’re adopted or age out, you share a bedroom with at least five other children, and there is always someone who wants to spend time with you.”
“And you liked it that way?”
“Most of the time, I didn’t mind. I saw the orphanage and the other children as my home and family. I didn’t know any different. But there were moments when I just wanted to be left alone. That wasn’t easy.”
Nate was quiet for a moment, his expression shifting into something less guarded.
“I don’t think I could’ve coped with that. I had my own share of harrowing experiences growing up. Maybe we should swap stories sometime? ”He gave her a rueful look. “I’m sure Isabelle told you about my parents, and how my father treated me.”
Rachel shifted awkwardly.
“I didn’t mean to be nosy…”
“I’m sure you would’ve found out sooner or later.
The entire town knows about it.” Nate shook his head.
“Everyone knew how he treated me, and while they did try to help, there was only so much they could do. At the time, I thought they all knew and simply stood aside because they were scared of him. Maybe some of them were. He was an intimidating man, so I understand that better now than I did then, but when I was little, all I knew was that I was hurting and no one seemed able to stop it. I resented them for that.”
“It’s a reasonable… …” She felt increasingly uncomfortable with their conversation. Why had she even come? This wasn’t going well. She felt sorry for what he had been through as a young boy, too. She had no idea how he had managed to stay so grounded.
“I understood more as I grew up, but at the time I hated everyone. The only one who stood up for me was Isabelle, but she was just a child herself. She didn’t have much of a childhood because she was looking after me.”
“You think you’re a burden to her?”
Nate didn’t answer, but his silence was answer enough for her. Rachel wanted to touch his hand, to give him some comfort, but she didn’t. She didn’t even know what to say.
“Anyway, I think I better get the house secure so we don’t lose anything when the storm hits.” Nate finished his coffee and stood up.
“Do you want me to do anything?”
“No, you get warm.”
“But I’m fine,” she protested, but Nate gave her a smile and shook his head.
“Just get yourself warm.”
Then he walked away before Rachel could argue any further. She felt like a husk, her heart hollowed out. Between listening to Nate give some insight as to why he felt the way he did and finding out he hadn’t even written the letters. She wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare.