Chapter 42 Goal Setting
Goal Setting
Linda arrived around six. Morgan was sitting with her dad, hearing about his woodworking, while her mom and Heidi prepared the vegetables.
“Where is she? My savior!” Linda burst into the room.
Morgan blushed but stood to meet Linda, who wrapped her in an enormous hug and peppered her with kisses. Morgan hugged Linda back, then wiggled free to link her arm through Heidi’s. “Linda, this is my girlfriend, Heidi.”
“I’m very happy to meet you.” Heidi held out a hand.
Linda brushed past it to give Heidi a quick hug. “If you’re making my niece happy, you’re a friend of mine.”
Her mom abandoned the vegetables to make a pot of coffee and slice some fruitcake. Linda produced some brownies she’d bought on the way over, and they sat around the table.
“How are you doing?” Morgan asked Linda.
“I want to say good. That’s my default. And I am doing good—now.
But it’s been a rough few weeks.” She made a face.
“My chest hurts. I can’t say my boob hurts since it’s not there anymore.
I kept throwing up from the radiation. At first, some days, I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed. But it’s okay now.”
Nods all around the table.
“Would anyone like fruitcake?” her mom said after the silence had grown. “It’s homemade.”
Boom. Difficult subject dealt with.
Except… Except…
Linda and Heidi shook their heads, and only her dad took a slice. “It’s so lovely to have the family here together,” her mom said. “And Nathan and Ellie will be here on Christmas Day.”
“There’s nothing better,” her dad added.
“Morgan, honey, tell us about your job. Has anything been said yet about making you partner?” Her mom turned to Linda.
“Morgan gave us informal advice on ethical investing and investing in renewables. She suggested ways we could diversify our small portfolio. We took her advice, and it’s already doing much better. No wonder her clients love her.”
“That’s good.” Linda flicked a glance at Morgan and raised an eyebrow.
Morgan shuffled in her seat and heat stole up her cheeks. This was all so wrong. How could she sit here and listen to this? But, then, how could she tell them the truth?
“No need to be modest.” Her dad laughed and nudged Morgan. “You should be proud of your accomplishments—your mom and I are. Do you think you’re in the running for advisor of the year again?”
“Not this year,” she mumbled.
“I guess they can’t give it to the same advisor too often.” Her mom patted Morgan’s arm.
Acid burned in the back of her throat, and she surged to her feet. I can’t stay here. “I’ll be back in a moment. I need some fresh air.”
“I can turn the heat down if you—”
She caught a glimpse of Heidi, hands braced on the arm of the chair, no doubt ready to follow her if Morgan asked. She flashed her a tight smile and a brief nod that she hoped said, I’m okay, just let me work through this. Four strides and she was through the door, then down the hall and outside.
The cold bit into her cheeks, and she shivered. She should go back for her coat, but that would bring her mom out to fuss. She went out the gate and turned left, swinging her arms and walking as fast as possible.
She had known her parents would be like this. They were proud of her, they loved her. It wasn’t unexpected they would praise her to the heavens. But this time…
Linda’s face flashed before her. Linda, who had given them the briefest of updates on her health.
Morgan had heard more about Manuela’s spaniel’s recovery after Peppi had been neutered.
She snorted a laugh. Not the same thing at all, but people—friends, families—shared things that were important.
Heidi had said that. And Heidi was sitting with her mom and dad right now, no doubt fabricating a reason why Morgan had fled.
She rounded the corner and came to a small park where she’d often played as a kid.
Right now, it was deserted. Morgan went over to the swings, sat on one and pushed herself back and forth with a toe.
She’d intended to tell her parents—to start the era of the new, open Morgan.
And maybe it would encourage her family to open up more too.
Yet here she was, freezing her butt off on an icy child’s swing.
Words tangled in her mind, and the right ones were still yet to reveal themselves, but she wouldn’t hold back any longer.
If she didn’t do it immediately, she likely wouldn’t.
Wasn’t that the biggest thing she’d hoped to accomplish on this trip?
She got off the swing and walked back to her parents’ house.
Her feet dragged as she went up the path. Just do this.
Her mom’s tight expression relaxed into a smile when Morgan reentered the room. “Feel better, darling? It’s good to stretch the legs.”
“It is.” Morgan dropped into the chair next to Heidi and took her hand. Tell them now.
Next to her, Heidi squeezed Morgan’s hand and shifted closer so their shoulders touched.
Morgan flicked her tongue over her lips and sat taller in the chair. Her stomach squeezed as if it were in a vise.
“Oh, darling,” her mom said. “While you were gone, we were talking about your career and how you’re—”
“I have something to tell you,” Morgan said. “It’s not easy to say.” She stared down at the table for a moment, rearranging the words in her head. Heidi’s hand was a lifeline. Heidi believes in me. I can do this.
Morgan lifted her chin and looked first her dad, then her mom, in the eye. “I was fired from my job a few months ago. I made a big mistake, one that cost the client hundreds of thousands of dollars. She demanded that I be fired.”
“Oh, Morgan, honey.” Her mom stood up and rounded the table, stopping behind Morgan’s chair and wrapping her arms around her shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I couldn’t. I didn’t tell anyone how it really was.
Heidi moved in with me because I needed a roommate to make my savings stretch further.
And I didn’t even tell her. Instead, I pretended to work from home every day, futzing around on the laptop as if I were on the job.
I worried I would run out of money, that no one would employ me ever again.
I was stressed and miserable—and I couldn’t tell any of you.
Because Favolas don’t fail. And if we do fail, Favolas certainly don’t talk about their failures. ”
“Morgan, we would have supported you,” her dad said.
Heidi said nothing. She simply kept hold of Morgan’s hand, her grip solid and reassuring, conveying her love and admiration for Morgan’s bravery as she said words that had been bottled up inside her for so long.
“I know,” Morgan said. “And thank you. But I couldn’t do that. I’m the strong one, the one who’s given you and Mom money in the past. It doesn’t work the other way around.”
Her dad patted his pocket as if feeling for his wallet. “We will, though. How much do—”
“It’s all right now. I start another job in January.
A better job. But I wanted to tell you what’s been going on in my life.
The bad, and”—she lifted Heidi’s hand—“the good. Heidi’s taught me that it’s okay to admit failure to the people who care about you.
So that’s what I’m doing. That’s what’s important.
I should have told you before, I know that now.
How can we best support the people we love if we don’t know they’re struggling? ”
Her mom released Morgan and returned to her chair. She blinked fast and swiped at her eyes. “I’m so sorry we weren’t there for you. That you felt you couldn’t tell us. You’re our only child, and we love you so much. I’m sorry, Morgan.”
“It’s okay. I love you, Mom.”
Her mom reached out across the table and took Morgan’s hands. “I love you too, honey.”
Next to her, Heidi placed her hands on the top of both of theirs. “I’m a loser who couldn’t settle on a career. My ex-girlfriend stole all my savings. I got them back, thanks to Morgan, but it was hard for a while. I miss my family in Australia.”
“But are you happy?” her mom asked.
“I am now. I’m going to start college in Denver to study something I hope will lead to a fulfilling career.
In the meantime, I’ll get a better job. I have a girlfriend I love.
” She rested her head on Morgan’s shoulder for a moment.
“Who loves me back. I have friends. I like living in Denver. I’m happy. ”
Her mom nodded. “I’m glad.”
Morgan gazed at Linda. Here was her chance to say how it really was. Allow them to help her in practical ways, emotional support, maybe. Just help her.
Linda’s shoulders sagged, and she seemed to deflate.
“I’m not okay. Not really. My surgeon is very optimistic about my prognosis.
Scans are clear so far—the cancer hasn’t spread.
But I’m still struggling. The pain is manageable except when I have to raise my arm.
” Her voice cracked. “So…so, driving is agony. Reaching anything above shoulder height is hard. I can’t change the sheets on the bed.
But things are okay. They have to be. Ellie and Nathan are a huge help, but neither of them can drive a stick shift. ”
“We’ll help while we’re here,” Morgan said. “The heavy stuff. Move things down to lower shelves for you.”
Her dad cleared his throat. “I can drive you anyplace you want. I wish you’d asked, Linda. I didn’t know how difficult it was for you.”
“I’ll help Morgan and Heidi,” her mom said. “Do Ellie and Nathan know how you’re struggling?”
Linda stared down at the table. “No. They think I’m doing great. I need to be strong for them. They help—they cook, vacuum, grocery shop, that sort of thing. But I don’t want them to see me being weak.”
“It’s okay to show weakness.” Heidi offered Linda a soft smile.
Linda sat silently for a moment.
Morgan gazed at the top of Linda’s head, where gray hairs twined with light brown. More gray than Morgan remembered.
“I feel like a failure,” Linda whispered. “I can’t do a fucking thing.”