Chapter 27
Franklin: don’t wait up
Mouth: everything good
Franklin: yeah, set the alarm
A long sigh left her lips. Remedy tossed her phone on the nightstand and returned to stripping the bed.
She would’ve preferred he be here attached to her in some sort but she more than understood what needed to be done.
Someone violated and the price for violating was dire. Especially when it was a man like Erys.
Down the stairs to the laundry room, she started a load and placed the basket of towels on the couch and started to fold.
Most of the laundry had been done by the aide the day before, which Remedy was thankful for.
Folding clothes for her was relaxing and one of the many things her grandmother taught her.
When she did it, she remembered the stories and lessons told as she sat at her grandmother’s worn slipper covered feet.
She remembered her grandmother’s stories of failed loves, past lovers and how she could love a man she knew she would never have as her own.
But that wouldn’t stop her from being there – it wouldn’t stop her from showing and sharing the many layers of love.
May used to tell her – I was made to love, even if it wasn’t returned to her fully.
“He out there handling business?” Ernie asked, shuffling over to her.
Remedy bobbed her head. “Yeah. Told me not to wait up but suddenly I’ve gone from being able to do everything without him to nothing. It doesn’t even feel right to sleep without him.”
Ernie took a seat by her and hummed. “That’s the Moore effect. Get up in you and rearrange your life. It’s a gift and curse. My jit might be having more luck than me.”
“Why do you say that?” Remedy asked, placing one towel down and moving to the other.
“You know, for a while there, May was sweet on me. I couldn’t be what she needed ‘cause my heart was three blocks over. Let people tell it, she’d been lovin’ me for a while; never believed them. Maybe if I realized it then … well, you might’ve been mine.”
“Then you wouldn’t have had Erys. I wouldn’t have had Erys and I know we’re in the south, Ernie, but I will not be one of those brother fuckers or cousin humpers.
” They shared a laugh and for a moment, Remedy had Ernie without any haze.
She let her head rest on his shoulder. “I think May knew you could never love her back but that didn’t stop her from doing what she was here to do.
She loved you, loved every girl you had – loved me.
When I was younger, I think about how lonely that was.
Never being loved back. Then I experienced it and I never want to feel that again. ”
Ernie outstretched his arm over the back of the couch and wrapped it around her shoulders.
“Yeah, that shit was dark. We’re not meant to be alone like that.
You lose your mind in the darkness. I guess that’s how I got like this.
Then you moved in looking all good and mean.
Made an old man feel alive. I’ve never had friends, Rem.
You’ve been more than that. You remind me of May.
Of my Cherie. You’re soft just like they were.
Strong – able to fight the world if you had to.
So full of those type of qualities, it has to be managed correctly.
I was a poor manager of it. The worst actually.
Too in love with my gotdamn self that I couldn’t see past that shit.
I think Erys has all the good qualities of me and his mother.
But if he got some of me in him, put that pretty little foot of yours down and stand on that shit.
Make him love you, make him respect you.
If that nigga fucks up, make him chase you across the world and back.
You got the key and you got his heart. I can see it when I look at him.
Just how I looked at Cherie. He’s going to take such good care of you, Remedy. ”
Remedy inhaled the fragrance of the fabric softener lingering on the towels and Ernie’s t-shirt. “I’m going to take care of him too.”
They shared a stillness before Remedy returned to folding the remainder of the towels.
“Cherie…” Ernie muttered, fighting sleep as he looked at Remedy.
“Hmm?” she buzzed, folding the last set. “What you need?”
“Where’s our boy?” he quizzed.
“He’s out. He’ll be right back.”
Ernie huffed. “It’s too damn late for him to be out. Gotdamn, why don’t you let me raise him the way he needs to be raised, Cherie?”
“Ernie,” Remedy blew. “Erys is fine. Here, help me with this.”
“No, I’m going to find him. That muhfucka is out there gang banging. You want him to be like me? Look at me!” Ernie bellowed.
The redirect was a failed attempt. Worry filled his aged orbs and caused his chest to rise and fall. Remedy placed her hand on his chest and held his erratic eye ticks. “Ernest, do you trust me?”
He didn’t answer.
“I need you to trust me. And I need you to trust that Erys is okay. Okay?”
“How you know?” he grumbled, nostrils flared.
“Because I pray for him.” Remedy admitted, tears pricking her eyes. “When he sleeps. When he’s not watching. When he is…he’s okay. Trust me.”
“Fine,” Ernie huffed. “When we going home?”
“We can go to bed whenever you want? You want to go to bed?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Come on.”
“You gon’ rub my back?” Ernie posed, standing.
“You know I will.”
Remedy left the towels where they were and climbed the stairs with Ernie.
Without much convincing, she got him in the bed and rubbed his back until he was sound asleep.
She moved from the bed to the chair. Ernie liked to sleep just like his son and she wasn’t going to fight for her life to get out of his bear hug.
When morning came, she uncoiled herself, let the aide in and resumed what she was doing the night before.
Busying herself. Rotating the loads of clothes in the laundry room and carrying a fresh set of sheets to the bedroom she abandoned.
Remedy’s eyes studied the text from the previous night and then looked at the other side of the bed he was supposed to be on.
She pulled in a deep breath and pulled the blanket up and fluffed the pillows.
“Real domesticated shit, Rem,” she mused, looking at her handiwork.
Her mind drifted back to a night of passionate exchange cut short by a foolish kid in a ski mask.
Remedy took notice of the fear in his eyes as they bounced between her, Erys, and the exit that was no longer an option.
The black flag tied around his wrist made her heart hurt.
Especially knowing that he’d written a check he didn’t have the currency to cash.
She couldn’t sit around and wait for him to get home. Things needed to be done and she trusted that when he came home, she’d know where he was. If he was out doing what she thought he was, she wouldn’t get details.
Remedy didn’t need the details. She trusted him. That thought made her groan out loud as she trekked to the bathroom.
“Trust means love,” she muttered to herself. “Are we even ready for that?”
Truth was she was overdue for it. Love was indebted to her and needed to bring the debt current.
She was owed a kind of love that came in swift and chaotic, knocking over the things she’d placed at the doorways of her heart to ensure a brutal type of love never found her again.
There were walls built up outside of her tender spirit.
He’d knocked them down and then cleaned up the rubble in the way.
As big and as maddening as his presence was in the beginning, she needed it now.
Longed for it, every inch of her craving every inch of him.
Not just in a physical sense. His spirit brought calm to hers.
Safety, security, sanctuary. The mere sight of that man told her brain, heart, and soul that God had to be real.
Because who else was responsible for creating that?
Who else could be responsible for making every horrible thing that happened to her fade away.
Remedy dressed in the silence, void of his touch or his compliments or his breathing. She brushed her hair and teeth without a tap to her ass.
“Look at you,” Remedy buzzed, looking at herself in the mirror. Her figure filling out. “Being treated well. One night without him for real and you’re like a sick puppy. Fight back.”
She laughed softly and pulled herself from the mirror. “I don’t want to fight back. I love it here.”
Dressed and ready to drive herself to another day of work, she made her way down the stairs, finding Ernie sitting in the living room. He was seated to see the front door. Just like they were the night before. The aide was in the kitchen starting his breakfast and humming to herself.
“Where’s our son, Cherie?” Ernie asked the moment Remedy touched the top of his head. “He’s gotten himself into trouble again. I don’t know why you can’t seem to keep that nigga off the streets. You won’t even let me do what I need to do.”
Remedy pulled in a deep breath and sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ll go find him and I’ll leave him with you.”
“You full of shit. You left him with me once and then blew up about me having my hoes around him. What part of the game is that where you leave me and get mad about what the fuck I do? Huh?” Ernie grunted. “Got them niggas breaking in my shit because you told them some bullshit.”
“I said I was sorry,” Remedy replied. “I’ll go find him and you rest. Okay?”
“I won’t rest until he’s back. Last time he left, he was gone too long,” Ernie spoke, looking at Remedy.
There was that look in his eye, the same one from last night.
Different than before when he was semi-present.
Ernie was living a suppressed memory. A continuum of grief.
“Got that nigga talking to you crazy and won’t come the fuck home. Dumbest damn shit you ever did.”
Remedy pulled in a breath after she kissed him and walked into the kitchen.
“He might be agitated today,” Remedy announced, grabbing a piece of bacon off the plate.