Chapter 31
Alas, regardless of their doom,
The little victims play!
—“Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College,” 1742
Thomas Gray (1716–1771)
English poet
A month later, a dark, thunderous cloud hung heavily from the sky, bringing ominous rumblings of discontent, while the wind blew and battered the castle walls like wings of an ill-omened bird. It had been raining for days.
Alysandir had a feeling something bad was about to happen. Still recovering from Isobella’s rejection, he did not need more problems. It bothered him that all of his family was not safely ensconced within the walls of Màrrach Castle. The two youngest siblings, Artair and Margaret, were visiting their maternal grandparents in Argyll. Alysandir wanted them home and asked Gavin and Grim to fetch them.
“Are they in danger?” Gavin asked.
“I have a feeling they are, but I have no proof. Have a care, lads. I sense there is mischief aboot. Twenty men will accompany ye.”
When a week had passed and they had not returned, he decided to send Drust and Ronan with a full company of soldiers to find them. Before they could leave, Colin found him in the stable examining the injured leg on one of the horses.
“Ye may not need to send Drust and Ronan. There is a courier from Angus Maclean with a letter for ye.”
Alysandir gave the gelding a pat and turned away. “Bring him here,” he said, knowing Maclean had his brothers and sister in his cold clutches, but he read the missive anyway. It was obvious the courier feared for his life, but Alysandir put him at ease.
“No harm will come to ye on Mackinnon land.”
He turned to Colin. “Tell Duncan to see that this man is given something to eat and send him on his way.”
After they departed, Drust inquired after the contents of the letter.
“It was to be expected,” Alysandir said. “Angus Maclean has the four of them and our soldiers, which he will exchange for Elisabeth.”
“And if we do not comply?” asked Ronan.
“He will execute the male captives and return Margaret to us.”
“The bastard!” Drust said.
Ronan turned to Alysandir. “What is our plan?”
“I havena a plan as yet, but I will inform ye the moment I do.”
The next morning, Alysandir showed the letter to Elisabeth. “I’m sorry to cause you more complications. I will gather my things while you decide who will escort me to Duart.”
“No.” Alysandir looked at her, his eyes quiet and sad, for he knew what this would do to Isobella.
Elisabeth sighed. “You have no choice. You know that. I hope Angus wouldn’t harm them, but you can’t risk it. Isobella is well. She no longer needs me. I will tell her I am leaving.”
“I will go with ye,” he said.
They found her in the garden, sitting on a stone bench beside a basket of flowers she had gathered. She must have sensed something was wrong, for her expression was both suspicious and guarded.
“I am the bearer of bad news.” Alysandir handed her the letter from Angus. She read it and handed it back to him.
“So, you are sending her back.”
“Izzy, you can’t expect him to keep me here,” Elisabeth said.
“I don’t.” Isobella looked at Alysandir. “But I do expect you to let me go with her. You have no right to keep me here.”
“Izzy, you are not well enough to travel that far on horseback,” Elisabeth said.
“Ye will remain here. You have my promise that I will bring Elisabeth back if I have to exchange myself for her.”
Eyes downcast, Isobella walked away, turning over the basket of flowers on her way.
“I am sorry we have brought so much angst into your life,” Elisabeth said. “I feared this would happen, but I was hoping for more time.”
“Are ye fearful of what might happen when ye return?” Alysandir asked.
“Yes. Fergus was grieving over Barbara, but before long he began to transfer his amorous intentions to me. Angus intervened with a threat that I would never see Izzy again if I rejected Fergus.”
Alysandir nodded. “I will put an end to this, but I need time.”
“I have precious little of that. Before I came here, I was measured for a gown for my marriage.”
“Try to delay things as long as ye can. I will bring ye back.”
“I will be ready to go in the morning.”
Alysandir found Isobella in the solar alone. “I understand why you are letting her go, but I cannot make myself like it,” she said. She looked at her hands folded in her lap as she spoke. “I know you and I have made a royal mess of things. Neither of us is blameless, just as neither of us is right. I should have told you. I should not have held it against you when I lost the baby. There has been enough blame and pain. Enough to last a lifetime. We have both suffered.”
“Isobella…”
She looked at him. “I don’t hate you, Alysandir. I don’t want to hurt you. You were honest with me. You never promised me anything more than passion. How can I fault you for that? I allowed it to happen because I was in love with you and I read more into it than was there. Like too many women, I thought it would be different for me. The romantic in me believed in stories that ended with happily ever after.”
She heard his mournful cry. She saw the anguish in his eyes when he threw his head back and closed his eyes tightly against the pain. She loved him. That was her fault, her crime and her punishment. She had never felt so alone. She could not stop the tears that rushed to the surface, and she wiped them away.
She did not want his pity. She stared at his broad shoulders, slim hips, and long, well-formed legs and wondered with what demons he wrestled now. Strange, though it is, I know you would give your life for me, and yet you cannot give me your heart.
He was watching her now, waiting, but she had no words for him. “I ken Elisabeth told you Fergus wants to marry her,” he said, his eyes softening. “I promise ye that I will rescue her before that happens. I want to ease yer torment. I will…”
She rose to her feet. He was close enough to reach out and touch, but he had never been further away. She placed her hand against his cheek. “I know you will try to bring her back. I am not angry at you. I don’t hate you. I will probably never stop loving you.” She sighed deeply and realized how very tired she was. “I just want to go home.”
“I would give all I own if I could make it up to you, if I could change what happened.”
“I know you would, but we are at a stalemate. I don’t want you without marriage, and you don’t want me with it. Sometimes love just isn’t enough. That is why I want to go with my sister. I don’t belong here anymore.”
“It will never be over.” She heard the anguished break in his voice and saw the despair in his eyes. But she was not moved. She had lost him and the baby, and now she felt nothing. She was empty inside. She rose on her toes and placed a kiss upon his warm mouth. When he started to speak, she placed two fingers over his lips.
“Don’t say anything. I know your heart, Alysandir. You are a good man. I couldn’t love you if you were not.”
Without another word, she turned and left him standing in a shaft of sunlight that suddenly broke through the clouds.
***
Isobella went to see how Bradan fared.
“I am fair to sick o’ this room,” he said, “and I long to walk in the sand along the sea barefoot.”
“How about we go down to the stables to see Cahir Mor?”
“Cahir Mor!” Bradan said, “’Tis the name I gave him!”
“Yes, it is. Come along now.”
Bradan still walked with a limp, but he assured her his leg was just sore and not painful. She looked at him, seeing his trusting innocence. He had no idea what his future would be or the challenges he would face as chief of his clan, if that was his future. His Scotland would be conquered, as the Picts and the Celts had been before them.
She knew his proud world of tribes and feuds would someday be remembered only through the words of bards, historians, and poets, and their way of life learned through writings and artifacts unearthed by romantic academics like herself, who were devoted to bringing to life the vestiges of the Scotland that was.
She couldn’t stop the inevitable, but she could teach Bradan about preserving artifacts and even recording some historical documents. Thinking about devoting herself to her work, Isobella was more optimistic about her future. Perhaps there might be a silver lining to this time-travel business after all.