Chapter 9
And just like that, it’s my last day off.
Then it’s back to reality tomorrow. I slept heavenly last night.
I don’t recall having any nightmares, which is a plus.
I’m pretty sure I fell asleep with a grin, which is so unlike me.
Last night I had laid in bed, replaying my and Theo’s chats.
I met him out of nowhere and barely even conversed with him.
Now, Danielle and I are going to the beach with him and his friend we’ve never met.
This is so different from my usual decisions.
For some strange reason, I feel all giddy inside. This scares me to my core. I hardly know anything about Theo. Yes, he seems genuine and mature. But what if it’s all for show? Danielle is right, I can’t compare him to Noah; it’s not fair to him. But what if it’s a similar scenario?
I can’t handle another letdown. And oddly enough, I am already feeling something unexplainable.
It’s as if I can feel my existence gravitating towards him.
It sounds absurd, but that’s the best way I can describe it.
And even though I only heard his voice for a moment at the party, I still feel his rich, comforting tone curl around me.
I love his sarcasm and how he plays around.
It meshes well with my personality, and that’s saying a lot.
I can only imagine the fun we could have together in person.
The problem is I know myself, and sometimes I push people away.
If things seem too good to be true, it scares the ever-living shit out of me.
And I’d rather run before potentially getting hurt.
I know how toxic and unhealthy it sounds. I am quite aware of that. But do you blame me? Life hasn’t been easy on me. I’ve forgiven others many times throughout my life. And what have I gained from it? Disappointments.
I refuse to stress myself over something that hasn’t even happened.
What harm will it do just to test the waters a little?
I will stick it out and see how this beach trip goes.
If there are any red flags, I’ll call it quits.
Plus, it’s too early to assume the worst when Theo hasn’t given me one reason to think otherwise.
Noah is in the past, and I want to keep it that way.
It’s been a year, and I can’t continue to let him linger in my thoughts. He ruined me before, and I’m only letting him win by allowing the damage to spread like wildfire. With that being said, here’s to letting go and moving on.
Nora hasn’t reached out since Friday. I hope she is doing okay.
I like to keep in touch as much as possible but also try to give her space.
We both like our alone time. There’s just something off about her.
I want to be there for her as much as I can.
Since I’m returning to work tomorrow, I must run by the grocery store.
We are low on food at the apartment, and I want to get a few items for the beach trip.
Jake’s parents’ house isn’t too far out of the way.
I make the rash decision to drive by and check in on her.
Once I arrive at their house, I see my sister’s car parked in the driveway. It’s covered in pollen and doesn’t look like it’s been driven in days. I knock on the front door a few times.
Jake’s mom opens the door shortly after. She’s aged since the last time I saw her, which was just a few months ago. She is heartbroken, and it makes my heart hurt for her. She gives me a weak smile. “Oh, Olive, it’s so nice to see you, honey.”
I return the smile. “It’s good to see you, too, Michelle. How have you and Derek been?”
She looks down at the ground for a moment before answering, “We’re doing the best we can, considering everything. We are just so thankful to have Nora here.”
I gently grab her hand and give it a small squeeze. “Please let me know if I can help with anything. And I know Nora appreciates the two of you. Thank you for caring for her the way you do.”
I can see tears forming in the corners of her grey eyes. “She is family to us, and Jake loved her with all his heart. And I hope you know that we’re here for you too, Olive.” I give a quick nod in thanks. We walk inside.
Their house hasn’t changed one bit. I always get a nostalgic feeling when I come here. Their home is a two stories. There is only a bonus room upstairs, which is Jake and Nora’s room. Even when they moved out, his parents never touched it. I think they always hoped they’d one day move back in.
Michelle informs me that Nora has barely left her room since meeting me for lunch on Friday.
She doesn’t seem concerned; she, too, is grieving Jake’s death.
I replay Nora telling me she had so many things to do over the weekend, which I had a feeling was just her way of getting out of going anywhere.
I approach her bedroom door; I look down and see there’s no light on.
I softly knock and wait for her. I hear no movement in her room.
I slowly creak open the door. Aside from light peeking from behind the navy window curtain, the room is dark.
This room looks to be in shambles. Clothes are thrown all over or in piles in different places.
I walk over to the dresser and see photos scattered all over it.
Some photos I’ve seen before of her and Jake.
I pull out my phone to use the flashlight. She and Jake took so many pictures together. Some are from when they first started dating, others more recent. They fell in love so young; I believe they would have made it last.
The thought of him being gone sends an ache through my chest. He was everything to Nora.
He saved her from our childhood in the best way he could.
And now there is nothing left of him but pictures and memories.
I fight back tears that try their best to escape my eyes.
I turn and see Nora curled up in bed. She looks relaxed and content.
It’s three in the afternoon, but maybe she was up late looking through pictures. I notice her purse lying beside her bed; it has fallen over, and items are exposed on the floor.
I see a small baggie sitting on the lip of her purse; it looks like a rolled-up cellophane.
I crouch down and shine my phone light on it.
There is something nestled inside of the baggie.
Just as I go to explore the strange item, Nora shuffles in the bed.
I quickly turn my phone light off and tiptoe out of her room.
I stand by the door for a moment to see if she wakes.
She slowly rolls over, and I hear a long sigh leave her body. I refuse to disturb her sleep. I’m sure she has many restless nights. I quietly shut her door and head back down the stairs.
I let Jake’s parents know she is sleeping and that I’ll give Nora a call later.
On the way to the store, I can’t help but question what’s going on with my sister.
I can’t make hasty assumptions, and while I’m not an expert, I know what is typically in cellophane.
This concerns me. Surely Nora would tell me if she’s doing something wrong.
Why wouldn’t she? Knowing what the outcome could be.
We watched what drugs did to our mother.
They destroyed her, snatched her motherly instincts, and threw them out the door.
Do I have any room to talk? Nora would beat me if she knew what I dabbled in before. But are her intentions the same? Is she just trying something out, curious like I was? Or has this become her normal?
I knew something had been off with her. I saw the change gradually grow after Jake’s death.
Yes, I know grief changes people. But this differed from that.
I don’t want to pry and upset her. And I damn sure don’t want to accuse her and be wrong.
I’m going to figure this out. I can’t let my sister fall into our mother’s habits.
Once I return home from the store, I put everything up in their rightful places. I realize I haven’t heard from Theo today. I’m sure he’s at work and most likely waiting for me to reach out first.
Danielle should be home around six. We plan to have pizza delivered this evening for dinner.
Maybe a glass or two of wine and a movie.
I love we get to have our little girl evenings.
It makes me think back to when we were kids.
Even though my childhood was gift-wrapped in shit, there are also memories I will cherish forever.
And some of those memories are with my best friend.
It’ll be another hour before Danielle makes it home from work. I suppose I’ve waited long enough to text Theo. I’m sure he’s dying to hear from me. Yeah, right.
Me: Good afternoon, Theo.
Theo: There’s my spicy Olive.
Me: Wow, that’s one I’ve never heard. How are you today?
Theo: Good. I’m not much for sharing, even down to nicknames. I’m doing well, and I’m almost done with a job. Wbu?
Me: That’s good to know, lol. Unfortunately, I’m going back to work tomorrow. Today has been interesting. Where do you work, if you don’t mind me asking?
Theo: Anything worth sharing? And yeah, I mind.
Me: Nope. Not something you’d understand. And damn, sorry for asking. What are you, a stripper or something?
Theo: I’m joking, Olive. I work with my dad. We run a family-owned landscaping company. Stripping is my weekend night job.
Me: Oh, I love y’all work together, and you must be great with your hands.
Me: Okay, ignore that comment. It was a joke.
Theo: I just laughed out loud. Thank you for that. Are you sure it was a joke, or are you curious? I’d love to show you what my hands can do in the near future.
Me: Ha-ha funny. Don’t push it, Theo.
Theo: What?? I was talking about trimming your shrubs at no cost.
Me: Uh huh sure lol. Depending on how this beach trip goes, I may take you up on the free shrub trimming. Btw I don’t personally own shrubs, but the apartment complex I live in may appreciate the gesture.