Chapter 9 Family Shadows #2
Because all I wanted was to keep him safe.
The problem was that lately I wasn't sure I was capable of doing that.
The rest of the evening passed quietly.
Neither of us talked much.
We ordered takeout.
Watched half a movie.
Pretended everything was normal.
Neither of us believed it.
Around nine, Elliot finally headed upstairs to work on his manuscript.
I stayed in the garage.
Mostly because I needed space to think.
The garage had always been my sanctuary.
A place where problems made sense.
Machines broke.
You fixed them.
Simple.
People weren't simple.
Love definitely wasn't simple.
I was standing beside a workbench when my phone buzzed.
The name on the screen immediately made me suspicious.
Nico Vega.
Former rival.
Current friend.
Occasional pain in my ass.
I answered.
"What?"
Nico laughed.
"Nice to hear from you too."
"You're calling at nine-thirty."
"Fair."
Silence followed.
Then his tone changed.
Serious.
Immediately serious.
My stomach tightened.
"What happened?"
"You know a senator named Thomas Reed?"
Every muscle in my body went rigid.
Hell.
Absolute hell.
"Why?"
Nico sighed.
Because he already knew the answer.
"I've got a friend who works private security."
The words landed heavily.
I remained silent.
Listening.
Waiting.
Dreading.
"He heard about an investigation."
Of course he had.
Nico continued.
"The guy digging around wasn't subtle."
My grip tightened around the phone.
"What kind of investigation?"
Another sigh.
The kind people made when delivering bad news.
"The kind that ends careers."
Wonderful.
Exactly what I wanted to hear.
The garage suddenly felt colder.
Nico's voice lowered.
"They pulled everything, Jax."
Everything.
One word.
Yet it carried enough weight to make my chest hurt.
Because I already knew what everything meant.
Not rumors.
Not gossip.
Facts.
The ugly ones.
The real ones.
The things I'd spent years trying to leave behind.
The assault charges.
The arrests.
The prison sentence.
The club.
The violence.
Every mistake.
Every regret.
Every moment I'd failed to be better.
All neatly documented.
Waiting to be weaponized.
"How bad?"
The question sounded rough.
Even to me.
Nico was quiet for several seconds.
Too quiet.
Finally:
"Bad enough that a politician would have a field day."
I closed my eyes.
Because that was exactly what I feared.
Not for myself.
For Elliot.
The kid had his whole life ahead of him.
A future.
A career.
Dreams.
Possibilities.
All things I'd spent years losing.
And now my past threatened to drag him down with me.
The thought made me physically sick.
After the call ended, I remained alone in the garage.
Motionless.
Staring at nothing.
Thinking about Elliot.
Always Elliot.
The problem wasn't that Senator Reed hated me.
I expected that.
Hell, if someone handed me a file detailing my worst mistakes, I'd probably hate me too.
The problem was that he wasn't entirely wrong.
That was the part nobody talked about.
The uncomfortable truth hiding beneath the anger.
I'd done those things.
Made those mistakes.
Earned that record.
The man in those reports wasn't innocent.
He was me.
The realization settled heavily across my shoulders.
For years, I'd worked to become someone better.
Someone different.
Yet one investigation had reduced everything back to a list of failures.
And maybe that was the truth.
Maybe people like me didn't get happy endings.
Maybe guys with criminal records and dead dreams didn't deserve people like Elliot.
The thought stayed with me all night.
And by morning, it had become a decision.
A terrible one.
The kind that broke something inside you.
Yet somehow felt necessary.
I found Elliot in the apartment kitchen.
Coffee mug in hand.
Hair still messy from sleep.
The sight immediately weakened my resolve.
God.
I loved him.
There it was.
The truth I'd been avoiding.
Clear.
Simple.
Terrifying.
I loved him.
Which was exactly why I had to do this.
"Elliot."
He smiled automatically.
The expression nearly shattered me.
"Morning."
The word sounded warm.
Happy.
Trusting.
Everything I didn't deserve.
I looked away.
Because meeting his eyes felt impossible.
Something in my expression must have changed.
The smile slowly faded.
Concern replacing it.
"What happened?"
The question hung between us.
Heavy.
I took a breath.
Then another.
Neither helped.
"We need to talk."
Fear appeared immediately.
The sight hurt.
Still, I forced myself forward.
Because stopping now would only make things worse.
For both of us.
"Elliot."
My voice sounded rough.
Broken.
"I think we need to end this."
Silence.
Complete silence.
The words seemed to echo through the apartment.
Neither of us moved.
Neither of us breathed.
For a second, I thought maybe he hadn't heard me.
Then I saw his face.
The shock.
The confusion.
The pain.
God.
The pain.
"What?"
The single word nearly destroyed me.
I looked away.
Couldn't bear it.
"This isn't fair to you."
The explanation sounded pathetic.
Weak.
Meaningless.
Yet I kept going.
Because if I stopped, I would never finish.
"You deserve better."
His expression hardened immediately.
Not angry.
Hurt.
Deeply hurt.
And somehow that felt worse.
"No."
I blinked.
"What?"
"No."
The word came stronger this time.
Certain.
Determined.
Elliot set the coffee mug down.
His hands trembled slightly.
But his voice didn't.
"You don't get to decide that."
The sentence hit harder than any punch.
Because we'd already had this conversation.
And I was repeating the same mistake.
Yet fear remained louder than reason.
"This is different."
"No."
His eyes shone.
Not with tears.
With frustration.
With heartbreak.
With love.
The realization almost broke me.
Because he still loved me.
Even now.
Especially now.
And all I could think about was protecting him from myself.
"My father is trying to destroy you."
The words exploded from him.
Raw.
Honest.
"And you're helping him."
Silence followed.
Heavy.
Painful.
True.
Because he was right.
Every instinct inside me screamed to pull him close.
To apologize.
To tell him I was wrong.
Instead, I stood there.
Frozen.
Terrified.
Convinced I was doing the right thing.
Even as my heart shattered.
For one endless moment, neither of us moved.
Then Elliot stepped back.
The distance felt enormous.
Like a canyon opening between us.
"I can't believe you."
His voice cracked.
Just once.
That was all.
Yet it hurt more than anything else.
Because I could.
I absolutely could.
I believed every terrible thing I was saying.
Every fear.
Every doubt.
Every lie disguised as protection.
And as I watched the man I loved stare at me like a stranger, I realized something devastating.
Walking away from Elliot Reed was already the worst mistake of my life.
But I wasn't brave enough to stop making it.
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