12. Camile
CAMILE
I’m on the back of Ace’s bike, my arms wrapped around his waist and body pressed to his. The motorcycle growls with steady vibrations beneath me as he skillfully maneuvers the machine down the winding mountain roads.
Every time we move between the compound and the hospital, it’s with an entourage of armed bikers, all on high alert at the possibility of another attack. I tell myself it’s unlikely—what would Hector Sanchez gain by trying to kill me?—but it’s still a worry.
I don’t want to leave Jack at the hospital, but I know he’s in good hands. Besides, I expect Vani will want to spend some time with her dad, and I’m going to guess she’d prefer it if I’m not there.
My chest aches at the loss of our friendship.
I wish it hadn’t been a choice between the two of them, but she’s the one who’s made it that way.
I do understand, but it doesn’t stop it hurting.
I hope she’ll come around to seeing things from our point of view eventually and be happy for us, but I won’t hold my breath.
I wonder what everyone will have been saying back at college about it all.
I know Mack is still my friend and believe Ophelia will be too, but I bet the gossip and rumors are wild.
Not that it even matters now. There are far bigger things to worry about.
Now I know Jack will most likely be fine, and make a good recovery, all my focus goes to Ghost. He’s the one who needs me now, and even if I can’t be with him physically, I’ll make sure my heart is with him.
I hope he knows how much we’re thinking about him and that he doesn’t feel like he’s alone.
Every time I picture him, taken and possibly hurt, I want to cry.
I know how it feels, because I’ve been there myself.
Rook had come for me then, but Ghost has no one.
He must be feeling like he’s back in his military days, and he’s been taken prisoner again.
If he’s suffering, it’ll be down to me.
Rook has already let me know via text that the conversation between Hector and the recording of Ledger went as well as could be expected. There were a couple of hairy moments, like when Hector spoke in Spanish, but he seems to have bought it.
Now the guys want to talk to me, according to Ace, and my stomach churns about what the next steps might hold.
We arrive back at the compound, but instead of going to the bar or Jack’s office, Ace takes us to my place. I’m surprised to find Rook sitting on the porch outside, waiting for us. He has his hands clenched between his knees, his head down, but he glances up at our arrival.
Ace stops the bike, and we both climb off. He takes my helmet from me, and I shake out my hair then rush to greet Rook.
He kisses me on the mouth. “How’s Jack?”
“He’s good. Getting stronger with every passing hour.” I can’t help but tell him about our conversation. I’ve already told Ace, who grinned and said ‘told you so.’ “Jack said he loved me. He knows how I feel about each of you, too, and that doesn’t change things for him.”
Rook’s handsome, young face twitches. “He’s not going to make you choose?”
“No, he’s not. I promise.” I kiss him again.
I want him to be happier than he seems, but I guess he’s got a lot on his mind right now—we all do—and I realize that now isn’t the right time to be worrying about or discussing our relationship dynamics, with Ghost in the situation he’s in.
I curse myself for blurting it out the way I did.
It makes me seem as if I don’t care about Ghost when I do.
“Jack wants you to call the hospital and be put through to his room,” Ace says to Rook. “You know what happened and where he was shot. I think he just wants to piece things together, you know?”
“Okay, but first we need to talk. Let’s go inside,” Rook suggests.
He seems different, older than before, as though the weight of responsibility of the day has aged him more than his years.
“Okay.” My stomach sinks farther at his serious tone.
Rook takes my hand and leads me inside, to the living room.
He presses me onto the couch then sits beside me.
Ace takes the other side, so I’m sandwiched between them.
I think of how different the circumstances were last time we were in this position.
I’d believed then that we’d gotten over the worst of things, but how were we to know there was more to come?
Nerves flutter within me. “Why do I feel like you’re going to give me bad news?” I swallow, hard, and give voice to my worst fear. “Is Ghost still alive?”
Rook nods. “Yes, he is. It’s not about Ghost… well, kind of not about him. I want to tell you what Hector said, the offer he made.”
I look between him and Ace. Did they talk before we got back to the compound when Ace left me alone with Jack? Does Ace know what he’s about to say?
“Hector will exchange Ghost for Ledger…”
“Right,” I say, already knowing this.
“But he will also free your mother and bring her to America in return for the location of the safehouse… and for your brother’s life.”
I jerk back in my chair. “No! Absolutely not.”
“He’s promised he’ll leave you and your mother alone, Camile. That’s not nothing.”
Ace covers my hand with his. “You’ll be safe.”
I yank out of his grip. “And I’ll have betrayed my family! I’ll have murdered my brother as surely as if I’d put a gun to his head myself.”
Ace softens his tone. “You’ll have your mother here, in America, and no one will be coming for you anymore. Your brother would probably agree to this.”
I bark out a sob and cover my mouth with my hand. “And my mother will never forgive me for getting her son killed. She’ll hate me forever.”
I can barely believe we’re having this conversation. It feels like a betrayal that they’re even contemplating I do this. How could they think it of me?
“She’ll understand, eventually. What’s the alternative? That your entire remaining family is wiped out? They can’t hide forever.”
“Would you do it?” I throw back at them. “Would you betray your sibling to secure your own safety? You wouldn’t, I know you wouldn’t, so how can you ask the same of me?”
Rook hangs his head. “Because we want you to be safe, Cami. That’s all we care about. That’s why we’re asking it.”
I shake my head. “No, no. I can’t…”
The room spins in a dizzying circle around me.
“And what happens at the time of the exchange,” I say, “when Hector realizes we no longer have Ledger, that, in fact, Ledger has been dead all this time? He’s not just going to hand over my mother, is he?
Or Ghost, for that matter. All I can see is things going wrong, and, right now, my mother and brother are hopefully both secure.
How can I possibly give up their safehouse? ”
“Please, think about this, Cami,” Rook says.
Ace looks over to him. “She has a point. We don’t have Ledger, and when Hector discovers that, the deal will be off anyway.”
“What happens if I say no, though? What will happen to Ghost?” I wonder if we ought to string Hector along somehow for a while, until Ghost is safe.
“Then we make the exchange with just Ghost and Ledger.” Rook smiles at me.
“But we don’t have anyone to exchange!” My tone rises in hysteria. “We don’t have Ledger.”
“We’ll think of something,” Rook says. “Hector sending men to your family’s safehouse would have bought us a little more time, that’s all.”
I hate that Rook is correct and I could buy Ghost time, but I won’t betray my brother.
“No. The minute Hector finds out his son is dead, he’ll kill Ghost, and, if he has my mother, he’ll kill her, too.”
Heat rushes over me and sweat prickles above my upper lip. A band tightens around my chest, squeezing the air from my lungs. I put my face in my hands, fighting the nausea threatening to overwhelm me. I feel like I’m about to throw up, have a heart attack, and pass out, all at the same time.
How can they expect me to make this decision? It’s too much.
They’re asking me to kill my brother.
In return for Ghost’s life, and my mother’s.
I’ve caused this, all of it. If I hadn’t come here, they’d all be safe right now. Maybe this is my punishment for all the sins I’ve committed.
I made the decision to kill Ledger.
And now I’ve possibly killed Ghost.
Grief pours over me, taking hold of me. I can’t function. I can’t speak, can’t breathe. I can’t get my limbs to work. I’ve killed him, I’ve killed him, I’ve killed him.
Ace slips his arm around my shoulders, but I shake him off.
I don’t deserve his comfort. I don’t deserve any of them.
Can’t they see how poisonous I am? I’ve ruined them.
Jack is in the hospital, Rook has suffered assault because of me, now Ghost…
The only person I haven’t hurt is Ace, but that’s bound to come. Then there’s my mother and brother.
Once more, my thoughts go to leaving. I should join my family.
My heart breaks all over again at the thought of leaving here, but right now I can’t see any way out of this. How can these men stand to look at me? Especially if Ghost dies, which, surely, he will if we can’t come up with something.
“This is my fault,” I sob. “This is all my fault.”
“Come on, Princess, no, it’s not.” Ace lays his hand over mine in a comforting gesture that does nothing to make me feel better.
“How can you say that? Whose fault is it, then?”
Ace squeezes my hand. “Hector Sanchez’s, of course, and Ledger’s, too.”
“I should never have run to Jack when I needed help.”
“Baby, do you really think he’d agree with you? You think he’d prefer you to have been raped and married off to that asshole? Not in a second. He’ll choose you every time.”
“Even over Ghost’s life?” I whisper to Ace. “I don’t want that.”
He hugs me, and this time I let him. “None of us do, but yes, if it comes to it, he will pick you, and you know what? So will Ghost. In a millisecond. We love you. Any one of us will burn down the whole damned compound if it means keeping you safe.”
“But I don’t want that! Can’t you see? Asking you to make those kinds of sacrifices is too much!”
“You’re not asking, Princess. We’re offering. And this isn’t your fault. Always know that you can come to us, over and over, if you need to. We will always choose you.” Ace hugs me tighter.
Fresh tears pool in my eyes, and I cover my face and sob again, until I can’t breathe. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve to be loved so hard by these men when all I’ve ever done is cause them pain.
Rook puts his hand on my thigh. “Come on, Cami. You need to breathe. Slowly in, then blow it out, like you’re blowing out a candle. You’re panicking, and that’s understandable, but you’re going to be okay. Your brain just needs convincing of that.”
I follow his breaths and drag more and more air into my lungs. But even as the panic fades and my sobs lessen, tears continue to flow.
“I wish we could say goodbye.” I’m talking about Ghost. “I wish I could tell him how sorry I am, and how I love him, too.”
“You can still tell him. This isn’t over yet.” Ace squeezes me tight again. “Don’t underestimate us, and don’t underestimate Ghost, either. He’s a smart motherfucker, and he knows the exchange can never happen. He’ll be coming up with some ideas on his end, I promise you.”
“We have two things over Hector right now,” Rook says. “We believe we know where they’re holding Ghost, and we know this exchange is an impossibility. Hector will be approaching this with the mindset of getting his son back. That’s going to create a weakness for him.”
I manage to catch my breath, and my mind starts whirring. I’m no good to anyone hysterical. I created this mess. I need to think of a way to get us out of it again.
I blow out a shaky breath. “What about the idea we had in case Hector asked for a video call? We’d considered putting a bag over someone’s head and making out it was Ledger.
” I look between the men. “Couldn’t we do the same for the exchange?
At least then, we’ll get eyes on Ghost. We’ll know he’s still alive. ”
Rook stares at me and nods slowly. “That would work, and in fact, I know just the person who would do for the job!”
“You do?” I ask.
“Oh, yeah. Let’s just say I owe a supposed friend of mine payback for some bad shit he got me into.
” Rook smirks. “I want to see if I can get something sorted. We need to be careful about who we tell about the plan, though. Someone knew about the ride out and the route we planned, which means we still have a leak in the MC, and even though we’ve gone through everyone’s cellphones, nothing has come up.
We don’t know who it is yet, and that worries me. ”
Ace scrubs his hand across his mouth. “Yeah, it worries me, too. Make sure only the people in the room are the inner circle.”
“I will. Are you okay to stay with Camile?” he asks Ace.
Ace grins. “As if that’s going to be a hardship.”
“So my idea is good?” I look up at Rook as he stands.
“It’s perfect.” He grins. “It helps us get Ghost back in one piece and hopefully helps me give my friend what he deserves.”
Ace kisses me hard on the mouth. “Princess, you’re a genius.”