Chapter 17 #3
“It didn’t end well, okay? And I’m not going to say more than that.
You know I don’t like talking about this kind of stuff, and I especially don’t want to talk about this.
Him. I can’t, okay? I can’t relive it. What I will say is that I’ve accepted he’s back to stay, and we’re working on being civil. Friendly, even. That’s it.”
“Sorry to break this to you, Steph, but it didn’t look just ‘friendly’ to me,” Lucy counters, using her hands to make quotation marks.
Piper nods her agreement. “Yeah, my friends definitely don’t look at me like that.”
I know I’m going to regret asking this, damnit, but curiosity gets the better of me. Seems there’s a lot of that going around tonight. “Like what?”
“Like he wants to eat you,” Lucy says with wide eyes.
“He does not,” I argue.
Why do I like the sound of that, though?
“Does too,” they both say in unison and then break into a fit of giggles.
I shake my head at them, unwilling to go any further with this discussion.
Lucy sighs. “Well, I wouldn’t mind being looked at like that,” to which Piper smacks her on the arm.
“What?!” she all but shrieks, cowering away from her.
“What do you mean, ‘what’? Noah absolutely looks at you the exact. Same. Way.”
“You think so?” The small smile that crosses her face is at once hopeful yet shy, and I’ve never seen anything like it from Lucy before.
“Uhh, yeah.”
Lucy looks to me, and I nod my agreement, my own smile one of relief. The focus is off me, at least for the time being. “He definitely gives you a look, Luce.”
She sighs again. “I know.”
Piper huffs out a laugh and then takes a sip of her wine. “If you know, then why are you asking?”
“And why do you sound upset about it?” I add.
“You literally just said you wanted to be looked at with …” I search for the right words, not wanting to revisit the whole Riley-wanting-to-eat-me thing.
Not with them, anyway. Much as I hate to admit it, I’ll probably come back to that later.
When I’m alone in bed. “… hungry eyes,” I finally manage.
Lucy’s face lights up. “Ooh, I like that . . . hungry eyes. Yeah, that’s good. Like the song.”
“Well?”
Another sigh, this one heavily exaggerated. “It’s not that I’m upset, really, more confused. I guess. Concerned, maybe …?” she trails off.
Piper and I both nod for her to continue.
“Noah and I have gotten a lot closer lately,” she finally says with a secretive smile.
Then she proceeds to shovel down several mouthfuls of food.
Thank goodness she ordered the boneless wings because it appears as though she’s barely chewing.
Piper and I exchange an exasperated look.
Lucy’s enjoying drawing this out. I wait as she takes a large sip of her drink.
She puts the near-empty glass down and flags the server, pointing at it to indicate she’d like another.
When she finally turns back to us, her mouth is tipped up in a smirk.
Piper rubs at her forehead as though frustrated, but it’s obviously in jest.
“And?” I prompt again because I know Lucy’s waiting for it. I don’t mind indulging her—I’m just happy to be hearing about someone else’s relationship drama. Not that I have relationship drama, mind you. I don’t because there’s no relationship with Riley.
Definitely no relationship.
None.
I raise my glass to my lips as she finally continues her story.
“Well. We went for this walk that was kind of romantic and did the hand-holding thing,” she looks off into the distance, her eyes losing focus, and I imagine she’s recalling the sweet moment.
“Aww,” Piper cheers, doing a cute little chair dance.
Her excitement for her friend is genuine and palpable, and I love it.
I love both of these women and how we support each other.
I’m forever grateful they accepted me into their girl gang—Lucy’s words.
Before Piper came to town and we started working together, I’d been very isolated.
Even after, I’d resisted their attempts to get to know me at first, so used to going it alone at that point I hadn’t known what to make of their continued overtures of friendship.
Luckily, they’re nothing if not persistent.
I know they both wish I’d open up more, but …
I’m working on it. Thankfully, they never hold it against me, and, like today, they usually back off when I need them to.
“Yeah.” Lucy’s smile is a full-on grin now. “Then we pretended to be married and toured a house in this neighborhood that I love. It was a whole thing.”
Piper’s eyebrows shoot up, and I’m certain my face mirrors hers, but Lucy only waves her hand dismissively. I make the mistake of raising my glass to my lips, knowing from experience that a fortifying sip will be helpful as she continues her tale.
“Anyway, at the end, we kissed. And guys, it was so good. Like really, really good. I could have stayed in that house sucking his face forever.”
I promptly choke on my wine at her words.
“Do you have to say things like that?” Piper whines, her face suggesting she’s equal parts appalled and amused. “I don’t love the imagery there.”
“Agreed. So romantic,” I quip with a laugh.
Lucy rolls her eyes and continues, “Whatevs. We made out in the owner’s bathroom—is that better for you? Anyway, we were interrupted by the realtor, so that was disappointing, but ever since then, Noah’s been behaving like we’re a couple.” She shrugs. “And I’ve just been going along with it.”
“And you don’t want to? Be a couple, I mean.”
“No, I do! I really like it. I really like him,” she says, and I’m amazed to see a blush spread across her cheeks.
Lucy’s always been fine to share the dirty details of her hook-ups, but she doesn’t like talking about feelings.
I can relate, to a certain degree. I don’t often feel comfortable talking about either.
Not that I ever have dirty details to share anyway.
“But is it the right thing for the baby? You know I don’t do relationships. Or, I haven’t before. What if I screw this up, guys?” She blows out a frustrated breath. “We need to stay on good terms so we can do this co-parenting thing together.”
“I get it,” I say. And I do. Parenting is hard enough when you’re getting along with your partner.
Not that I think Noah is the type of guy who would ever walk out on his child the way Sam did, but things were contentious between the two of us for quite a while before he left.
It wasn’t fun, and I know it had a negative effect on the boys.
“Just take things slow,” Piper suggests. “And, I know this might seem like a novel idea, but … talk to him, Luce. Share your feelings, let him know you’re confused. Let him know you’re scared. Chances are, he is too.”
I nod, though I know it’s easier said than done.
“Yeah,” Lucy says vaguely. “Okay.” She crosses her arms and casts her eyes around the bar. I can tell she’s looking for a change of subject now, too. The server returns with her refill, and she snaps it up, sipping eagerly.
In an effort to avoid the conversation circling back to me, I turn to Piper. “How about you, P? Still living in newlywed paradise?
Piper grins and bites her lip. “Blissfully.”
Lucy chuckles and rubs her belly affectionately. “Any chance this little bean might have a new buddy soon?”
“Sorry to disappoint, but no. We’re enjoying it being the two of us right now.”
“That’s fair. Trust me, you could do without the bladder leakage and the cankles.”
“You do not have cankles,” Piper argues with a laugh.
At around nineteen weeks, Lucy’s little bump has only just started showing, and she’s one of those lucky women who seems to hold all her weight in her belly so you can’t even tell she’s pregnant from behind.
At nineteen weeks pregnant with Matty, I was already sporting a rounder face, wider hips, and chunkier thighs. With Alex, it was even worse.
She shrugs. “Well, I do have the bladder leakage and a newfound hatred for wearing panties, so you can imagine how inconvenient that is.”
“Yikes.” I’m not sure I’ll ever completely get used to Lucy’s brand of over-sharing, even if I do find it somehow endearing.
“Yikes?” Piper repeats, but I can already tell by the look in her eyes it’s not for the same reasons as me. No, in fact, it’s for an entirely different though also endearing reason.
Lucy and I exchange a knowing, amused look, pulling on our indulgent smiles just as Piper launches into her spiel about the etymology of the word. It’s something she’s done for as long as we’ve known her, and we’ve learned to let her do her thing.
“Did you know that the word ‘yikes’ is believed to have derived from ‘yoicks,’ which was a common hunting call in the mid-to-late seventeen hundreds used to urge hounds after a fox? Some people argue that’s incorrect, that it actually derives from ‘yipes,’ which was believed to in turn have derived from the yipping sound dogs make, thereby signifying excitement or triumph.
While I do think there’s some sense to that explanation, I’ve found more sources to support the ‘yoicks’ theory … ”
Oh boy, this is going to be a long one, I think, again looking to Lucy in tolerant commiseration. But Lucy’s clearly already tuned her out, her eyes going to something over my shoulder. Someone.
I know what she’s about to say because I can feel it. This entire evening I’ve felt his eyes on me, and it’s taken all of my willpower to resist looking back.
Piper trails off, picking up on Lucy’s distracted glances towards the bar. “Ooohhh,” she breathes.
“He’s practically burning a hole in the back of your head,” Lucy murmurs.
I refuse to follow her gaze. I won’t. But … then I do. I chance a look over my shoulder to find him staring intently, assessing me with those stunning silver-grey eyes.
My body tenses as his lips curve up into a slow, seductive smirk, and I suck in a sharp breath. He rubs a hand along his scruffy jaw, then he licks those lips.
“Holy shit,” Lucy breathes. “That made me a little wet.”
Piper giggles awkwardly.
Somehow—somehow—I manage to find the strength to tear my eyes away, whipping my head back around to once again face my friends. My face is flaming.
Friendly, not flirty, I remind myself. Don’t encourage him.
“The dude’s seriously pining, Steph, are you sure it’s just ‘friendly’?” Lucy asks once more, the skepticism strong in her voice.
“It is on my end,” I say firmly.
It has to be.