Chapter 19
Steph
Unknown
Good morning, Sunshine
Steph
…
How did you get this number?
Unknown
I might have peeked at your desk when you were busy closing up last night. There was a sticky note on the monitor with your contact info
Steph
Damn, Piper! Why does she always have to write everything down?
Does that mean you have my email, too?
Unknown
Maybe ;-)
Are you mad?
contact saved as Riley
Steph
…
No
Riley
Good
Steph
But I do have to go
Riley
I won’t keep you. Just wanted to check in about your car. Make sure it started okay this morning
Steph
It did, thanks. I’m taking it to Joe’s on my lunch break
Riley
Do you need a ride back to the library after?
Steph
I’m going to walk. It’s not too far – thanks, though
Riley
Okay. Well, the offer’s there. Please let me know if you need anything
Steph
I will
And, thanks again for last night
Riley
Happy I could help!
Riley
Good morning, Sunshine
Steph
So this is a thing now? We text?
Riley
…
Is that okay?
Steph
It’s okay
Riley
Way to leave me hanging. I thought maybe I was being too pushy again
Steph
Sorry, I was just busy with the boys
Riley
Oh, no problem. How are they doing?
Steph
Fine
Riley
Just fine?
Steph
Yeah, they’re good
Riley
I found a book called How to Solve 50% of Your Problems. So I bought two.
Think it'll work?
Steph
Are you being serious right now?
Riley
My mom has a collection of self-help books, and I thought there might be something in there to help me with Aidan. Sorry, the corny dad joke just came to me
Riley
Steph?
So you don't like dad jokes
Noted
“Alex!” I call down the hall. “Hurry up if you’re coming with me. Your brother’s game is about to start.”
Matty’s football team is playing their biggest rivals tonight, the Lakeview Prep Lions, and the whole town is likely to turn out for it. If we don’t get there soon, we’re going to have a problem finding seats.
“Alex!” I shout again, only to be startled by his face suddenly appearing before mine as he rounds the hall.
As is typical these days, I’m surprised to find myself looking up at my son.
It’s like I blinked and he sprouted up four inches.
He’s not as tall as his brother’s six feet, but they’ve both surpassed me at this point, and I’m still not used to it.
Or to the fact I have two boys in high school now.
Sigh.
He rolls his eyes, his voice taking on a whiny tone. “I’m here, Mom, let’s go already.”
Sigh, again.
I usher him out to the car, and we head over to the high school, cringing when I take in the traffic backed up on the street outside.
Deciding not to attempt braving the parking lot, I opt to circle the block, eventually finding a spot on the next street over.
Alex trails behind me, face in his phone screen as we make our way towards the field where I can already hear the roar of the crowd, signifying the game has begun.
Glancing at my own phone, I see we’ve likely missed the opening ceremony and kick-off, though not by much.
“Fri-day night liiiiights!” someone shouts from behind us as we’re enveloped in the sea of bodies moving slowly towards the stands, and then “Go Eagles!” from somewhere to our left.
I’m immediately discouraged at the prospect of finding seating as I take in the packed bleachers, but luckily, catch sight of Matty’s sweet girlfriend, Priya, waving to us from a few rows up, seemingly having saved us seats.
“Priya!” I exclaim, taking her in once we’ve reached our spots. “What happened to your leg?” Priya is a cheerleader, so I’d been expecting to see her watching from the edge of the field with the rest of her squad, not tucked away up here with a wrapped ankle and crutches.
She frowns, looking down at said ankle in frustration. “I sprained it in practice two days ago. They told me it’s a grade three sprain, whatever that means, and I have to stay off it for two whole weeks!”
“I’m sorry, honey.”
“Thanks,” she sighs.
“I’m surprised they wouldn’t still have let you sit on the sidelines with the rest of your team, though.”
“Oh, they told me I could next week, but I’m not even supposed to be here at all today. Coach said to stay home and keep it elevated through the weekend.”
“Hmm.” I give her the mom face, raised eyebrow, and all. On my other side, I can practically feel Alex’s eye roll, though when I glance over, he doesn’t bother to look up from his phone. “Don’t you think you should be taking her advice, then?”
Priya’s warm brown skin darkens with a soft blush. She avoids my eyes when she says, “This is a big game. I wanted to be here to support Matt.” She punctuates her statement with a shy shoulder raise, flipping her long, dark hair out of her face.
I can’t help but smile—they really are so cute together.
The thought has me reminiscing about young love, and high school sweethearts, and …
Riley, of course. Back when we were in high school, I’d thought we’d be together forever—had even imagined that one day we’d be here at Llyn Lakes High, cheering on our own kids, though in my mind they’d always been playing basketball like their dad.
Now, the man I’d once believed was my one-and-only is back and seemingly making a play for reconciliation after many years, and so very much water under that burned-out bridge.
And was it ever burned.
It had already been smoldering by the time I’d gone to the city to confront him, but he’d added gasoline to that fire when he’d turned away from me—turned towards another woman instead.
Before he’d shown back up in town this summer, it had been a long while since I’d allowed myself to remember that night.
The pain of his betrayal had remained so fresh for so very long that it had affected my relationship with Sam for years before I’d smartened up and shoved it down deep where it belonged.
I guess it had been too little too late, though, for the damage had seemingly already been done.
My relationship with Sam hadn’t had a very strong foundation to begin with, and he’d known from the start my heart wasn’t actually mine to give.
It had stayed, though shredded and broken, with another man who in the end hadn’t deserved it.
A man whose name I’d never spoken to Sam, not once.
I guess we’d both hoped that with time, things might change.
That we’d come to love each other for the sake of our children.
Instead, the distance between us had grown.
Sure, we’d had good times—mostly centered around the boys—and for a while, he’d been a good dad, but once certain things had come to light about my past, there had been no recovering from it.
I wasn’t all that surprised when he didn’t come home from work one day, though I’d been heartbroken for my boys when it had become clear he wasn’t only cutting me off, but them as well.
I’d spent over twelve years with that man, but his absence had paled in comparison to the hole Riley’s abandonment had left in my life and in my heart.
When Riley had returned to Llyn Lakes, I’d promptly reached down into the depths of my soul and pulled out my shattered heart.
Then I’d proceeded to flay myself open with the memories of that night.
It had been unavoidable then—and maybe I’d needed to do it—because, surprisingly, now, months later, it didn’t feel quite so sharp.
The pain I’d lived with for years, then avoided for years, was now dulled. Lessened, somehow.
Sticking with the bridge metaphor, I’m starting to wonder now if maybe it can actually be repaired. Rebuilt. Riley’s made no secret about what he wants. He wants me. But, dulled pain or not, can we really move past everything that happened back then?
A few months ago, I would have said hell no, but now?
Well, now I can grudgingly admit that the man is wearing me down.
That my heart skips a beat whenever I see him …
that I lunge a little too eagerly for my phone when I hear the tone that indicates I have a new text message.
That I’m even a little bit disappointed whenever it turns out not to be him.
I love it when he sends me a silly joke or meme.
I love seeing pictures of his cute little dog and hearing him call Connor his sidekick.
Every new encounter with Riley weakens my defenses a little bit more and has me wondering: would it be so bad? Maybe we actually could end up together as I’d once dreamed. But then I remember there are other reasons why that’s not a good idea. One big one in particular—
The noise of the crowd suddenly rises in a crescendo of angry shouting, and my attention is called for the first time to the field where the Lions have just scored a touchdown.
Crap.
My heart sinks as I search for my son. I find him easily down by the end zone, hands on his hips, and shaking his head.
It’s too far to make out, especially with his helmet on, but I can easily imagine the frustration and disappointment on his face.
I send him a silent reminder: It’s only the first quarter, Matty.
The booing and shouting continue as the kicker jogs onto the field and successfully scores the extra point.
Lions 7 – Eagles 0.
Priya and I share a glum look before turning back to the field to watch our boy play his heart out.
“What’s with you and that guy?” Alex asks me a short time later while Priya is distracted chatting with a group of girls sitting a row below us.
“What guy?” I ask, though I know full well who he’s talking about.
It seems the man is on everyone’s mind tonight.
I guess after two encounters where I’d looked guilty as hell, I shouldn’t be surprised Alex would have questions.
I’d actually been prepared for him to ask after he’d found us standing so close together on the porch that one night, but he hadn’t.
Now that he’s brought it up, I find I need an extra moment to compose myself.