Chapter 38 #2
“Never seen Lexi go down so hard,” Matt says, meeting my eyes with a grin.
“Don’t call me that,” Alex shoots just as Steph issues a similar warning, but I’m too busy holding Matt’s gaze to notice. My throat stings with the significance of this moment. This day. He may not know about our familial relationship yet, but nonetheless, I’m bonding with my son.
Eventually, I manage an answering grin, throwing in a conspiratorial wink for good measure and causing Matt to laugh some more. We play a while longer, and I take a dive, letting Alex win the next round.
When the night winds down, I follow Steph out onto the porch, glancing over my shoulder to make sure the boys are otherwise engaged.
They’re still engrossed in the latest game, so I sweep her up into the kiss I’ve been dying to give her all night.
She kisses me back, passionately, her tongue sliding into my mouth on a soft moan that I echo.
“I didn’t know you were a gamer,” she murmurs against my lips when I reluctantly break the kiss.
I shrug, dropping my arms from around her waist. “I’m not, or …
I wasn’t, until recently. When the Christmas gift went over so well, I figured it might be something we could eventually bond over.
A thing we could do together, someday. So I got myself the same system and games.
Lola is a gamer, so I asked her to show me the basics, and it went from there.
We even play together online sometimes, though it’s not often we’re both off work and free at the same time. ”
She studies me for a long moment before looking away, nibbling on her bottom lip as she stares off into the distance.
“So … you’ve been practicing for months, in the hopes of one day playing with my boys, even though for all you knew I’d never get around to letting you spend time with them?”
She meets my eyes once more, and I hold her gaze, nodding silently.
“That’s—” she lets out a shaky breath. “That’s just so—” but she cuts herself off once more, staring up at me in wonder.
And the smile that slowly creeps across her face is the one.
I don’t know how I know—her every smile lights her up, and this one is no different, yet …
it is. It’s the one I’ve been waiting for.
The smile that tells me her heart is truly in this with me.
She may not have said it yet, but it’s there, in her warm brown eyes.
She loves me.
One hundred and fifty-nine.
Idrive in lazy circles through the neighborhood, admiring the homes as they grow older and statelier the closer we get to the waterfront. I’ve got no destination in mind, I’m only killing time waiting for a text from Steph telling me she’s retreated to her bedroom for the night.
When it finally comes, I quickly pull a three-point turn and make my way back.
It’s Saturday, and I know Matt and Alex will stay up late, so I’m conscious of that as I park down the street and steal my way quietly along the south side of their house in the dark.
Steph’s bedroom window is open for me, and I chuckle softly as I unfold the little step stool she’d tucked in behind the gas meter after the first time I’d clumsily climbed through her window.
After months of sneaking around, though, I’ve now perfected the maneuver, and I slip quickly and easily into the room just as she emerges from the adjoining bath.
“Hey, baby,” I whisper, crossing the space and taking her in my arms. “I missed you.”
She huffs out an amused breath, pushing against my chest so she can look up into my face. Hers is now devoid of makeup, pink from having been freshly scrubbed, and as her eyes sparkle happily up at me, I can’t help but think she’s never looked lovelier.
“You only just saw me a half hour ago.”
“Feels like forever,” I murmur as I lean in and press a kiss to her cheek, then her jaw … under her ear. She lets out a soft sigh as I move slowly, with purpose, kissing my way down her neck—
And then Matt’s voice sounds through the door. “We know he’s in there with you, Mom.”
Steph gasps, pushing at my chest and stepping away from me when I grudgingly release my hold on her. She bites her lip, her eyes going wide.
“It’s gross,” he continues, and I can’t help the snort that slips out.
She moves in again and shoves me once more in the chest. “Quiet,” she hisses.
“But you guys can stop sneaking around now,” our son continues as a grin spreads over my face. “Riley’s a big dude, and that window’s … not. It’s okay if he wants to use the front door.”
“Oh my God,” Steph mouths as I pump the air with my fist. This level of acceptance this early on is beyond my wildest dreams, though clearly the boys have been onto us for a lot longer than we’d realized.
There’s a long pause as we wait with bated breath to see if he’s going to say anything more.
He doesn’t, but the otherwise creaky floorboards remain silent, indicating he hasn’t moved from the other side of the door either.
Once it becomes clear he’s waiting for a response—and that Steph’s not going to be able to give him one, I shout, “Thanks, Matt!”
A faint chuckle sounds from the other side as I officially corroborate my presence. It’s followed by the groan of the old floorboards as he moves away down the hall.
Steph lets out a whoosh of air, her eyes still wide and her face now flushed much redder than might be explained by her earlier scrubbing.
“I can’t believe that just happened.”
The grin splitting my face is borderline painful as I say, “I know, but I’ll take it.”
She presses her hands to her hot face. “I’m so embarrassed, though.”
I sober. “I know, Sunshine, I get it, but this is the best possible outcome we could have asked for today. It means I can come around anytime—all the time—and they’re accepting of that.
Of us. Sure, it’ll still be weird and a little uncomfortable, at least for a while.
They don’t like to think about you with a man, and you don’t like to think about them thinking about it.
” I bite my lip with mirth. “And it’s probably a very begrudging seal of approval on Alex’s part, but it’s real.
I mean … this is huge. We’re doing this, Steph. ”
I peel her hands from her face and force her to look up at me, watching her warm brown eyes soften as she takes me in. I know what she sees … the emotion shining in my eyes. The relief and utter fucking elation. It’s surreal how happy I am. That we’re here. Finally.
She goes up on her toes then, wrapping her arms around my neck and sniffling into my chest.
“Thank you for today.”
“I’m the one who’s thankful,” I murmur, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.
“I just … I feel so full. Like my chest is expanding and I … I can’t describe it.” She pulls back, staring up into my face once more. “Can it really be this easy?”
“I don’t know. I hope so.”
She sniffles again, shaking her head with a frown. “The thoughts … the fear. It’s been insidious, casting a pall over all of the new moments we’ve shared … our reconnection.” She drops her gaze, adding with a whisper, “I’m sorry I let it rule me for so long.”
“It’s okay, baby.” I swallow thickly, emotion clogging my throat at her words. “I’m sorry if I was impatient. For pressuring you.”
“I think I needed the push to get out of my own way.”
“Maybe, but your feelings, your worries, are valid. It’s okay to still feel them. We’re here now, though. We’re a team. And we’ll deal with the rest—anything else that comes, together.”
I take her hands in mine, urging her to meet my eyes and blinking back tears when she does. Hers are equally shiny with emotion when I tell her, “He’s incredible, Steph. They both are. You’ve done an amazing job with them.”
Her soft smile, her pink lips, beckon me to kiss her.
I lean in, taking her mouth gently, then pull away only to have her chase me with a groan.
She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me back for another kiss, immediately taking it deeper.
I walk her backwards towards the bed, never once breaking the kiss as we tumble together onto the mattress.
Removing her clothes is the work of a few seconds, and when she’s splayed out, naked and perfect before me, I close my mouth over hers once more.
She moans. Loudly.
“We might be busted, but I’m still going to need you to be quiet,” I murmur against the skin of her throat.
I proceed to pin her in place while I claim her lips once more.
Then I crawl torturously slowly down her body, trailing teasing wet kisses across her skin as I do.
When I reach the apex of her thighs, I shove them open, making a place for myself as I settle between them and grin fiendishly up at her.
I’m not sure which one of us enjoys this more.
“I’m going to taste you now, Sunshine.”