Chapter 10
DOUBLE TAKE
NATALIE
Icouldn’t believe the day I just had. It started with an email from the hot Brit who wanted to take me on a date, followed by me having sex with Will—twice—and ended with him practically running out of my house.
Then, later, we were playing house at his.
All of this after landing another client and a strong possibility for another.
I had to admit, it felt nice to be around Will. But I knew this wouldn’t last. It could only be like this every other week, the weeks when his kids were with their mom. Will had his children fifty percent of the time, one week on, one week off.
Not that I didn’t like his kids. I did. I adored Ivy, the boys were polite and sweet. But Madison was in such a fragile state. A teenager. She was navigating the most delicate years of her life, and I couldn’t ignore how easily she could be hurt.
I remembered all too well what it was like to be her age and feel replaced.
My mother had never been particularly maternal.
She was distracted, more focused on her own dreams than our day-to-day lives.
Even when she was physically there, it always felt like her mind was elsewhere.
After the divorce, she drifted further. There was no dramatic exit—just a slow fade, like she’d quietly opted out of motherhood.
So, my dad did what he thought was best. He went looking for someone to fill the space. Someone who looked the part. And within six months, Veronica was in the picture.
They met through a colleague; they were both in insurance. They dated for six months, got engaged, and were married shortly thereafter.
Veronica came from money and carried herself like it gave her authority over everything.
She was old-fashioned, emotionally distant, and always had something to say like, “When I was your age, I was at boarding school. I didn’t need anyone.
” Her words were polished and precisely sharp enough to make you feel inadequate without ever sounding unkind.
She never raised her voice. She didn’t have to. Her disapproval came through hollow smiles and glances that could shrink you without a word. Her silence changed the energy in a room. We were never enough. Never mature enough. Never truly hers.
She didn’t want kids. My dad couldn’t see it, but Meredith and I could. She pushed us toward independence like it was a chore on her list. Every summer, we were sent away to sleepaway camp. She took any opportunity to keep us at a distance.
To my father, she was composed and capable. But we knew the truth. Everything she did was calculated to keep us out of her world, all while making it look like she had done her part.
She never once told us she loved us.
The only thing she truly invested in was our college applications—not because she cared, but because it got us out of the house. For her, success wasn’t about our future. It was about our absence. It was about our silence.
The only real warmth we had during those years came in small doses.
Our grandparents lived a half hour away and would visit when they could.
Our aunt would take us for weekends from time to time.
Those moments were rare, but they reminded us of what it felt like to be wanted—to be loved without having to earn it.
Meredith and I clung to each other. Even though we had our own rooms, we almost always ended up in mine, whispering late into the night about how different our lives would be one day.
I used to tell her about the life I wanted.
Two children, a boy and a girl. We’d bake cookies together.
My husband would be handsome. Our house would look like something out of Home & Garden, just like the vision board I’d made and taped beside Brad Pitt on my bedroom wall.
What I wanted more than anything was a life that looked whole—even if it was a little broken underneath. I thought if I could make it beautiful enough, safe enough, maybe it wouldn’t fall apart the way mine had.
Meredith would smile and say she wanted to work in fashion and photography, but marriage wasn’t for her. Not after what we’d seen.
Looking back now, I understand both of us better. I spent years trying to build something flawless, while Meredith built walls around her heart so no one could ever leave her the way we’d been left.
I realize now how much emphasis I put on curating perfection. The perfect husband, the perfect house, the perfect kids, myself, all lined up like proof that I was doing everything right.
Maybe that’s why I’m so careful now. Why the idea of becoming a stepmom makes something inside me tighten. Because I know what it’s like to grow up with one.
I know what it’s like to live with a woman who doesn’t love you. Who keeps you at a polite distance. Who smiles for company but never lets you in. Who sees you as someone to manage, not someone to love.
And the thing that scares me most?
No matter how much I love Will, or how hard I try, somewhere along the way, I worry I will unknowingly become her.
The next day I decided I needed to call Meredith. She always had a way of helping me see things more clearly, especially when it came to messy family dynamics.
“Hello, hello,” Meredith said cheerily when she answered. I could hear faint music in the background.
“Hey, are you busy?” I asked.
“Sort of. It’s lunchtime, but I’m around models, so you know the drill, no eating in front of them. Shoot, what’s going on?”
“Well, a lot. I’ll give you the highlights now, and we can talk more later.”
“Okay, let’s hear it.”
“For starters, I’m working with a hot British guy named Lucas. He asked me out on a date.”
“Ooh, I like it already,” Meredith said.
“I also had sex with Will. Twice. Yesterday. And he still has that girlfriend.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah,” I said with a nervous laugh.
Meredith sighed. “I’m going to call you the second I get off. I need time to digest all of this.”
“Okay. But in the meantime, I think I might be a slut.”
“Natalie, stop,” she said. “You’re just living out what you should have done in your twenties. Sex is better in your thirties anyway. I’m loving this version of you.”
I laughed despite myself. “We’ll talk later?”
“Absolutely. I’ll call you in a couple of hours. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
After we hung up, I went to my office to get some work done.
I needed to focus. The bakery meeting was tomorrow, and I wanted the space to feel cohesive and inviting.
I started brainstorming ideas, pulling together palettes of soft neutral tones and imagining the display shelves lined with high-end baked goods.
Halfway through the process, I decided to email Lucas back.
Re: Subject: Project Details
Hi Lucas,
Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Are you and Jasper available tomorrow afternoon to meet at the restaurant?
Let me know what works for you.
Natalie
PS: I would love to go to dinner with you Friday.
I hit send and then spent the next twenty minutes debating whether the message sounded too casual—or worse, too eager.
Shaking off the thought, I went upstairs to take a quick Peloton ride, shower, and get ready for school pickup. As I was drying my hair, Meredith called again.
“Okay, I have time now,” she said. “Give me all the details.”
I filled her in, telling her about Lucas, about Will and the messy web I’d woven for myself.
“I think I need to give Lucas a shot,” I said. “He doesn’t have kids. No stepmother complications.”
Meredith snorted. “So, you had sex with Will, had a semi-breakup, and then had a family night? Natalie, come on. You know who the obvious choice is.”
“Teenage daughter. Four kids. I don’t want that,” I said. “I always pictured myself with two kids, not six.”
“Fair. But can you really get over Will? You two seem like magnets.”
“Not the point. He also has a girlfriend. And even if he didn’t, he could have anyone he wants. If it’s not her, there’ll be someone else. Lucas, on the other hand, is single and has no strings attached. I have a chance to explore something new.”
Meredith laughed. “You’re greedy with your hot men. Save one for the rest of us.”
We shifted to Thanksgiving plans. Meredith was coming to stay with me for nine days, and the kids would be with Jason for seven of them. It was going to be a long break from the kids, but Meredith would keep me occupied.
By the time I arrived at school, we’d wrapped up our conversation. I found a parking spot right away, a small miracle, and headed to the gate to wait.
Camille waved me over, and we chatted until Lauren joined us.
“What’s everyone doing this weekend?” Lauren asked.
“Solo for me,” I said. “Jason has the kids. But I have a date on Friday.”
Their heads snapped toward me in unison. “Really?”
“Yes, with this British businessman I met at work. He’s opening a new restaurant in The City Center.”
“Well, well,” Camille said, smirking. “Why don’t we come over to your house Saturday and have a girls’ night?”
“That could work,” Lauren said. “Jake’s out of town for a game in Denver, so I’d need a sitter.”
“I’ll see if Emily’s free,” I offered.
“That would be great,” said Lauren.
Camille nodded. “My nanny’s watching my boys. Tate is out of town too. Or maybe we need a night out instead. Let’s take Lauren to Bourbon House.”
The mention of Bourbon House made my stomach flip. Last time I was there, I ended up having sex with Will in the ballroom.
The children started coming out, cutting our conversation short. I spotted James and Bebe, and we said our goodbyes.
The evening was a blur of homework, dinner, and the usual bedtime routine. After the kids were asleep, I went over the design inspiration for the retail store. I wanted everything to be perfect for my meeting tomorrow.
Satisfied, I closed my laptop and climbed into bed. My fingers hovered over my phone, tempted to text Will and tell him how he’d been on my mind all day. But I stopped myself.
It was better this way.
Still, he crept into my dreams all night.