Chapter 21
BALANCING ACTS
NATALIE
What I thought was going to be an evening of dinner, laughs, and lovemaking with Will turned into an absolute nightmare.
As I was prepping dinner, the doorbell rang. I heard Will making his way to the door, the muffled sound of a woman’s voice becoming louder as he opened it.
Oh no, it’s probably Blake. Before I knew it, she was inside, walking straight into the kitchen. My stomach dropped. I couldn’t stand there and pretend everything was fine.
On the drive home, my heart pounded. The adrenaline from the encounter wasn’t wearing off, and guilt was starting to set in.
I hadn't been prepared to see Blake, let alone be in the middle of their unresolved relationship. Selfishly, I hadn’t thought much about her or her role in Will’s life.
I’d only considered how it made me feel when I saw them together.
What am I doing? I thought, gripping the steering wheel. Will and I had kids. Complicated lives. A past we couldn’t undo. So many things could go wrong.
When I got home, I hurried inside and called Meredith.
“I’m the other woman,” I said the second she picked up, collapsing onto the couch.
“Well, hello to you, too,” she replied, unfazed. “Should I be grabbing a glass of wine or calling a lawyer?”
“I’m serious.”
“I know you are,” she said, her tone gentler now. “But let’s not rewrite the story. Will wasn’t exactly head over heels for this girl if he’s out here falling for you. He loves you, Nat. He wants you.”
“I can’t be a stepmom,” I said, the words tumbling out.
“So, you’ve said,” she replied, a touch of sarcasm in her tone.
“I know, I know,” I sighed. “But it’s a lot to consider.”
“It is,” Meredith agreed, her voice softening. “But take some space. Let Will figure his shit out. And remember, you’re newly single. You’d have a lot of obstacles to overcome, but maybe love is all you need.”
“I wish it were that easy,” I said, glancing at my phone. “Will’s calling. I’ll talk to you later?”
“Of course,” Meredith said. “I’ll be there soon enough.”
“You’re the best,” I said before clicking over.
“Natalie,” Will’s voice came through the line, soft but full of tension.
“Hey,” I said.
“I’m so sorry. I forgot she was coming. I should have ended things with her before starting anything with you.”
“Will,” I said, hesitating, “do we need time to figure things out? Tonight just felt… messy.”
“I was afraid you’d say that,” he admitted.
“Every time we get close, the reality sets in,” I said, my voice cracking.
“You knew about Blake,” he countered. “This wasn’t out of left field. I’m just an idiot for not ending it sooner.”
“Okay, fair,” I said, exhaling. “But let’s make sure we’re being safe about this, for our kids’ sake.”
“I can live with that,” he said, his tone lightening. “So… is dinner and our sleepover off for tonight?”
I laughed despite myself. “I think I need a rain check.”
“I’ll miss you in your big tee shirt and shorts,” he teased. “I’ll keep them safe for you.”
“Thanks,” I said with a soft laugh. “Goodnight, Will.”
“Goodnight, Natalie.”
After we hung up, I felt a little better, but also completely drained. I wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl of yogurt, eating mindlessly as I replayed the night in my head.
Just as I finished, my phone buzzed. A text from Lucas.
Lucas: Hey, Natalie, I wanted to see if I could take you to lunch one day this week.
Shit. I’d completely forgotten about him.
Another text came in, this one from Jason, asking if we could meet for coffee on Friday. I quickly checked my calendar and replied to Jason.
Natalie: Sure, 10 a.m.?
Jason: Works for me.
He attached a picture of Bebe holding her science project.
Natalie: Wow, I’m impressed.
I wrote back, feeling a pang of longing for the kids. He hearted the message, and that was that.
Even though the break this weekend had been nice, I missed James and Bebe. It had been such a roller coaster, more emotions and drama with men than I ever imagined I’d be dealing with at my age.
The next morning, I woke to my alarm at 7:30, feeling slightly more rested but still worn out. I went through my morning routine, grateful not to have to drop the kids off at school.
After a quick Peloton ride and some emails, I headed to The City Center to check on the bakery. Lori was waiting for me, clipboard in hand and a familiar look of exasperation on her face.
“Natalie,” she started, “we’ve got a problem. The flooring samples need approval by Thursday, and the timeline for the custom counters just got pushed. Also, we need to decide whether to pivot to the alternate light fixtures, or the electricians will be sitting on their hands by next week.”
I nodded, my brain scrambling to keep up. “Okay, I’ll look into all of this right away,” I said, forcing a smile.
As I left, I spotted Will leaning against the side of the building, his phone in hand. He looked up as I approached, his face lighting up with a smile that used to make my stomach flip. Now, it just made me feel… complicated.
“Hey,” he said, slipping his phone into his pocket and walking toward me.
“Hey,” I replied, my voice quieter than I meant it to be.
“You, okay?” he asked, his brow furrowing in concern.
“Just a lot on my plate,” I said with a weak smile, gesturing toward the bakery behind us. “Lori’s got me juggling a million decisions, and it feels like nothing is going according to plan.”
“I can help with some of that,” he offered quickly. “I mean, between the real estate side of things and—”
“No,” I interrupted, shaking my head. “You’re already doing enough. Besides, it’s not just the restaurant. It’s… everything.”
His face softened, and for a moment, I wanted to let it all spill out, to tell him how overwhelmed I was by Blake showing up, by the kids, by my ex-husband suddenly wanting to meet for coffee. Lucas wanting to have lunch. But I held back.
“Natalie,” he said, his voice low, “I don’t want to make things harder for you. If you need me to step back…”
“No,” I said quickly, surprising both of us. “I don’t want that.” I sighed, my gaze dropping to the pavement. “I just need time to figure all of this out. It’s a lot.”
He nodded slowly, his expression unreadable. “Okay. I’ll give you time. But I’m here if you need me. For anything.”
The sincerity in his voice made my chest ache. I nodded, stepping back toward my car. “Thanks, Will.”
“Anytime,” he said softly, watching me as I turned to go.
I could feel his eyes on me as I opened the car door, but I didn’t look back. If I did, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to leave.
Paralyzed with emotions and the chaos of every relationship around me I sat in the parking lot with the tile samples scattered across the seat; mimicking my thoughts about Will, Jason, Lucas, my kids, Will’s kids; the list went on.
I exhaled slowly, unclenching my hands. “Just one day at a time, Natalie,” I whispered to myself. “One choice at a time.”