Chapter 30
BEGIN AGAIN
NATALIE
Idrummed my fingers on the steering wheel, staring at the dim glow of the porch lights in front of Will’s house. Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me” blasted through the speakers, and before I knew it, I was singing along, off-key and way too loud.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror and cringed. “Oh my God, Natalie. Pull it together.”
I turned the music down a notch, but not enough to stop myself from singing the next verse. There was something oddly freeing about belting out heartbreak anthems at night, sitting in a parked car like I didn’t have better things to do.
Or maybe it was just that Taylor got it. She got me.
I sighed, leaning my head back against the seat as the song faded into a softer ballad. “What am I doing?” I muttered.
Showing up at Will’s house unannounced was borderline insane. Okay, not borderline. Full-on. Who did this? Normal people waited for a response. Or maybe didn’t park outside someone’s house at all.
Usually, I’m very composed. But not when it came to him.
My phone buzzed in the cupholder, and I glanced at the screen. Meredith.
Meredith: Are you at Will’s?
Natalie: Yes. He’s still not home, and I’m sitting in his driveway like a stalker.
Meredith: Give it 10-15 more minutes, then leave. He’ll just see you were a stalker on his Ring camera.
Just then, headlights cut through the quiet, their beam bouncing off my side mirror. My heart jumped into my throat as Will’s car rolled into the driveway. He parked in the garage, the engine cutting off, and for a second, I debated throwing mine into reverse and peeling out.
But before I could move, his driver’s side door opened, and he stepped out, his expression shifting from surprise to curiosity, and then to something softer.
Will walked toward my car, his steps slow and cautious. He tapped lightly on the driver’s side window.
I swallowed hard, my heart thundering as I rolled down the window. I tried to look composed, hoping I somehow came off looking cool.
Will leaned down, his expression shifting into something closer to amusement. “So… is this some new kind of greeting I don’t know about? Sitting in my driveway in the dark?”
I let out a nervous laugh, gripping the steering wheel. “I was aiming for casual, but apparently, I overshot straight into awkward.”
His lips twitched into a smirk. “And here I thought you might just be here to TP the place. Should I check for eggs in your trunk?”
“Would you believe me if I said this was an incredibly well-thought-out plan?”
“Not even a little bit.”
He straightened up, tapping the roof of my car lightly before gesturing toward the house. “Well, come on, then. If you’re going to stalk me, you might as well do it from inside where it’s warm.”
Will opened my door and gestured me inside. I hesitated for a moment, still gripping my keys like a lifeline, before stepping out of the car. I followed him to his garage.
Inside the warm glow of the lights spilled out, a stark contrast to the chilly night air.
The door clicked shut behind us, and I immediately noticed how quiet it was in the mudroom. The stillness of the house felt amplified. Will shrugged off his jacket and hung it in one of the hooks glancing at me.
“Want some water? Or something stronger?” he asked, his tone light, but there was a question in his eyes I couldn’t quite place.
“Water’s fine,” I said softly, following him into the kitchen.
As he poured two glasses, I took a breath and leaned against the counter, watching him. “I wasn’t sure you’d even want to talk to me,” I admitted.
He turned, leaning against the opposite counter, his arms crossed over his chest. “Why wouldn’t I?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Maybe because I spent Thanksgiving at another man’s house?”
His jaw tightened for a split second, and I braced myself for whatever he was about to say.
“I was pissed,” he admitted. “But I figured… I don’t know. Maybe you needed space. I didn’t want to push. You needed to sort through everything on your own even if I didn’t like where you were doing it.”
I blinked, surprised by his honesty. “You weren’t pushing. I just—” I sighed, shaking my head. “I should have never agreed to go to Lucas’. It was stupid, and I knew it even before I showed up.”
There was still a flicker of something guarded in his eyes. “Why’d you go, then?”
“I guess I thought it would be easier. Safer. I didn’t have to explain anything or risk feeling…whatever it is I feel when I’m with you,” I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. “All I could think about was how much I didn’t want to be there. How much I wanted to be with you.”
He looked at me for a long moment, like he was trying to decide whether to believe me. Finally, he exhaled and set his glass down on the counter.
“I wanted to call you,” he said, his voice low. “After dinner with my parents. I didn’t text back because I figured I’d just call when I got home.”
I stared at him, the weight of his words settling over me. “You were going to call?”
“Yeah.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But then I started overthinking it. Figured you were busy with him, and maybe I was just reading everything wrong.”
I stepped closer, my heart twisting. “You weren’t reading it wrong, Will. I was. I’ve been reading everything wrong, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I went, and I’m sorry I hurt you.”
He looked down at me, something soft and tentative replacing the guarded expression. “I didn’t want space, Natalie. I wanted…want…you.”
The space between us felt charged with everything unsaid. For a moment, neither of us moved, and then I took a step closer, reaching for his hand.
“I want that, too,” I whispered.
Will’s hand lingered in mine, his grip steady as he looked down at me. There was a seriousness in his eyes that made my chest tighten.
“I want all of you, Nat,” he said, his voice low but firm. “Not just pieces, not just stolen moments. All of you. Are you willing to try that?”
My breath caught. His words hung in the air between us, heavy with meaning. “You mean… like a real relationship?”
He nodded, his thumb brushing against the back of my hand. “We can still take it slow. I know this isn’t easy, but I’m not going to pretend anymore. I want to tell my kids about us eventually. Kelly, my parents… I want them to know what you mean to me.”
I swallowed hard, the weight of his words sinking in. “You’ve really thought about this.”
“Of course, I have,” he said, his voice softening. “I wanted you to come to my Thanksgiving. I wanted you there with me. But… we were in a funk, and I didn’t know if I’d lost you completely.”
“You didn’t lose me,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “I was just scared, Will. Scared of what this could mean for my kids, for your kids… for us. But I don’t want to run anymore. I want this too. I want us.”
Relief flickered across his face, but he didn’t let go of my hand. “We’ll figure it out. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but if you’re willing to try, so am I.”
I nodded, my heart swelling. “I’m in. All the way.”
His lips curved into the smallest smile, and he reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Good,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion.
Then, slowly, he leaned down and kissed me. It wasn’t rushed or frantic, it was deliberate, like he wanted me to feel every ounce of what he couldn’t say with words.