Chapter 39
thirty-nine
one gigantic nerd
O n Sunday, Elissa did PowerPoint. All freaking day.
Her eyes hurt, her back hurt, and her head hurt by dinner on Sunday, but the PowerPoint brief for Karina was complete, fancy slide transitions and everything.
Her boss was champing at the bit after being gone for weeks.
And Elissa wanted nothing more than to hand over the responsibility so she could spend time with Ryan without the guilt weighing on her.
The presentation was a beautiful thing. The only application she liked better than PowerPoint was Excel.
“Nerd.” Jules’s voice pulled her into the present.
“What?”
“You’re staring at the presentation like it’s the second coming of Jesus. You, lady, are one gigantic nerd.”
Her friend handed her a glass filled with pink wine, her favorite.
“But you love me anyway.” She sipped the wine, slightly sweet and utterly refreshing after spending her entire day off hunched over the computer.
“I love you because of it.”
Jules had a beer. She did not like pink wine unless it had bubbles. Jules would drink almost anything if it had bubbles.
“Awww. That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said.”
“Don’t get used to it. Does this mean I’m finally gonna see you for more than ten minutes at a time?”
“God, I hope so. I mean, I appreciate the opportunity, but the amount of work has been overwhelming.”
“Did you ask for help?”
Jules knew her well, but she could answer this honestly.
“Yes.”
“Did you ask for enough help? Because I doubt Karina worked this hard last year.”
“I don’t know. First year, and we were a person short, so probably not.”
“Baby steps. I’m proud of you. Got some leftovers from last night. Roast chicken and veggies.”
“Oh, yes, please. Feed me.”
Jules did, and Elissa took a bubble bath and went to bed at eight thirty. She slept surprisingly well given she had a big meeting in the morning, and rose, if not exactly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, at least reasonably well rested.
Karina was already sitting at her desk when Elissa arrived a few minutes before eight. A wide smile greeted her.
“Elissa, thank you. Gary told me you handled everything like a champ.”
“I hope so. It’s good to have you back. Whenever you’re ready, I can update you on where we are on all the clients.”
“Ten work for you? Gives me a chance to ease in, return some emails, and all that.”
“Sounds great. I’ll see you in a couple hours.”
Elissa steeled herself. She saved the DeMarco account for last, and she would tell Karina about her relationship with Ryan.
Let her know Mr. Samuels oversaw all her work, and she had Bailey spot check her and look over her calculations.
Yes, she should have recused herself. Yes, she understood she could no longer work on the DeMarco account.
At least it would be out there, removing the weight from her shoulders. At least she could date Ryan out in the open. At least this would be over.
Ten rolled around and she popped her head into Karina’s office. Her boss was on the phone, looking like she was having the worst conversation ever. She waved Elissa in and gestured toward a chair.
“Yes, thank you. I will speak with my brother and we’ll call later.”
She hung up and pressed her fingers to her temples.
“I can come back,” Elissa said.
“Today isn’t going to work. Let’s plan Wednesday.”
“Anything I can help with?”
Karina smiled. “Just knowing we put our best junior accountant on these accounts has been extremely helpful.”
Guilt stabbed hot into her gut and twisted. Suddenly, Elissa regretted the oatmeal she’d had for breakfast.
“I’m glad I could help.”
“My mom is not settling in well to her care facility. I need to talk with my brother and get back to them by the end of the day. And despite having my email forwarded and everyone handling everything so well, I still have a ton of responses. And tomorrow…who the heck knows what’s going to rear its ugly head tomorrow. I’m fighting hydras.”
“I’ll send over a summary with the appointments I’ve already made for next week, and we’ll go over everything in what I’m sure will be excruciating detail on Wednesday.”
“Thanks, Elissa. You’re a rare bird, and I’m so glad we snagged you first.”
As she left Karina’s office, she doubted her boss would feel the same once she told her about Ryan. It wasn’t a red flag, but it wasn’t good. At least yellow, possibly orange. Hormones sucked.
She did not sleep so great the next two nights, tossing and turning as Karina’s praise ran through her head.
She felt guilty enough that when Ryan texted, she responded with short sentences and emojis, afraid she’d give away something she shouldn’t.
Even though they’d been talking normally for the past few weeks.
Wednesday rolled around, and Elissa went over the presentation again. Yep, she had about two hours left before her career got its first red mark. God, she’d always hated red ink.
She poured an extra cup of coffee and headed into Karina’s office at nine.
The first forty-five minutes went perfectly. When she reached the DeMarco slides, her palms started sweating, and she swore the temperature increased ten degrees in the first thirty seconds. Her voice trembled from time to time.
“Do you need a break, Elissa?”
“No.” Good, bad, or ugly, she needed this over. “Maybe a sip of water. I’m not used to talking for so long.”
She grabbed her water bottle and sipped, then sipped a little more.
You’ve got this.
Elissa finished the presentation with her initial recommendations and the date of their appointment with the DeMarco Properties board.
“Excellent. I couldn’t have done better. I knew you were the right woman for the job.”
Here goes nothing.
“About that…”
She told Karina. Not everything. But that she’d gone on a blind date with Ryan in January, that they kept running into each other, and she’d gone on a few more. That she should have told Mr. Samuels when he assigned her to the DeMarco account.
“But everyone was so busy, and, honestly, I was a little embarrassed. I didn’t mean for this to happen, and I got someone to spot check me. I swear I handled the account the same as all the others.”
Karina’s face had gone blank while Elissa explained. As the silence grew, she leaned back in her desk chair and steepled her fingers in front of her mouth. Elissa twisted the hem of her cardigan as her stomach sank and her heart raced.
What had she expected? That Karina would tell her it was fine, everything was unicorns and rainbows and lollipops?
Yeah, if she was honest with herself, that’s almost exactly what she’d expected.
Elissa Wright could do no wrong. It was a given in her family, at school, at work.
She rarely made a mistake, was careful not to make mistakes.
And when she did, they were easy to fix.
But this one—the best mistake of her life—would not be an easy fix.
“Okay,” Karina said after an eternity, “let me think through the options. I will need to loop in the partners and HR. You were put in a strange position, and I’m disappointed your first instinct wasn’t honesty when Gary spoke to you.
Now we have to navigate a delicate balance so we don’t have to do all the work over and need an extension.
Take the rest of the day and think about some outcomes.
And reread the ethics handbook. I will be doing the same. ”
“Yes, of course.” Elissa stood. “I am sorry. The longer I didn’t say anything, the harder it became. I should have done better, and I understand if this means severe consequences.”
“Keep your phone close, I’ll call this afternoon.”
Elissa nodded, clamping her lips shut and praying she wouldn’t cry, then she left Karina’s office. She rushed to her own and grabbed her bag. She stopped by reception.
“Hey, I’m not feeling well, so I’m heading home. Karina knows,” she told the receptionist.
“Okay, Elissa. Hope you feel better.”
“Thanks.”
She made it to Bertha without crying. Even more surprisingly, she made it to her parents’ house. She hadn’t meant to drive to her parents’ house, but autopilot must have kicked in. The garage door was open—right, spring break for Leo and her mom. But what was Ami’s car doing in the driveway?
She parked next to Ami and walked up the gravel path. After a couple of knocks, she opened the door. Yelling spilled out into the overly warm spring day. Elissa slipped in and closed the door behind her.
“It’s a shitty thing to invite your adult kid out to lunch only to yell at them for their adult decisions. We settled this a month ago! I’m not going back to school. Not this summer, not this fall.” Ami’s voice echoed from the kitchen. “We’re done here, Mom.”
A cabinet slammed shut and Ami stomped into the hall.
Her brows rose when she noticed Elissa, but she didn’t stop.
Elissa pressed against the wall in the narrow hall, and Ami brushed by, waves of rage radiating off her.
Elissa wouldn’t touch her sister with a feather right now and expect to still have fingers.
“Don’t you walk away! This conversation is far from over.” Their mom followed Ami into the hall, but didn’t seem to notice Elissa.
“I’m not a child, you don’t get to tell me what to do!” Ami shot over her shoulder.
“You’re my child.”
Ami paused with her hand on the handle of the front door. She glanced at Elissa, tears trembling on her lashes.
“Please, Lissa, I-I can’t do this anymore.”
She opened the door and slipped into the sunlight and heat of a desert spring.
“Amicaria!” Mom shouted, but it was too late. The door was shut, and Ami was halfway down the front walk.
Her mom slumped against the wall, and her head thunked heavily as she leaned back.
“Elissa, go talk some sense into her. She won’t listen to me.”
Elissa studied her mom for a moment, then joined her, mirroring her posture on the opposite wall.
“I can’t. You pushed her too hard. She won’t listen right now, no matter who is doing the talking.”