Chapter 1 #2
West strolls over, casually slinging one arm over my shoulder and the other around TJ’s.
“Oh, you can feel the love,” he says, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
I’m not sure if he’s trying to defuse the tension or just enjoying himself, because the thing about West is that he loves a bit of chaos.
“You two, get a room. There are children present.”
I roll my eyes and shove him off, heading to my chair. “How about we just order? I’m starving.” It’s a lie. I’ve completely lost my appetite.
We all sit down, and thankfully, Laurie and TJ switched seats, so TJ isn’t in his usual spot beside me. Once we’re settled, we place our orders. I go with an avocado toast and a gin martini without olives. It arrives, and I drink it like it’s water, then order another one.
Normally, I wouldn’t start drinking at noon—it feels a bit too much like alcoholic behaviour—but when you’re having brunch with your ex who betrayed you the way he did to me… I’ll say, bottoms up. Honestly, not showing up drunk or pre-gaming is an achievement in itself.
Brunch passes with cautious conversation.
TJ and I don’t interact, apart from a couple of glances.
My friends talk about gossip, travel, and life.
I’ve missed them a lot. They visited me in Paris a few times, but it wasn’t the same.
Being in Paris felt like a holiday, but London has always been our home, our natural habitat.
“I still can’t believe Anthony actually let you skip an entire term,” Annabelle says, shaking her head. “Do you remember how furious he was when we ditched Edelweiss to go to Tulum for a week?”
That was a memorable trip in more ways than one.
“Yes, how could I not?” I reply. “But I think he was angrier about having to pull us out of a police precinct in a small town in Mexico than about the actual skipping school part.” I shoot West and Laurie a pointed look.
“Technically, he picked us up at the embassy,” West corrects me.
“Still, we were in jail,” I remark.
Laurie chimes in, “But not charged with anything.”
I roll my eyes.
“You have to admit it’s a fun anecdote now,” Lucian defends them, though he didn’t find it funny back when we were arrested or when the policeman grew even grimmer when West tried to bribe him.
“I’ll admit to nothing,” I declare firmly.
“Are you taking this term off, too?” Laurie asks, changing the topic. He’s an expert at diffusing tension, and he knows that talking about being in jail gets me fired up. I haven’t gotten past it yet. “Because if you are, we could be in classes together the next one.”
Both Laurie and I are pursuing undergraduate degrees in economics, finance, and data science at Imperial College, though he’s almost a year behind me. Well, now only one term behind since I missed the last one.
Annabelle and I were supposed to graduate at the end of June if we had gone straight to university after high school, but we took six months off to travel. She’ll graduate this winter. I still have more to go.
“Sadly, my sabbatical is over,” I answer. “I start classes next Monday.”
“Hadn’t classes at Imperial started two weeks ago?” TJ asks, acknowledging me for the first time in an hour.
“They did, but Anthony spoke to the school, and they’re fine with me starting late.”
“It must be nice having a brother who can buy your way into anything,” TJ sneers, leaning back.
I give him a slow, deliberate glare. “Well, you’re an expert on that, aren’t you?”
That was a low blow, and I knew it. I remember how devastated he was when we found out his father had bought his way into the University of Edinburgh.
He had applied in secret, hoping that, since it wasn’t one of the top universities in the UK, no one would find out, and he could earn his admission on his own merits.
But somehow, his dad did. Not only did he buy his way in, but he also changed his major from undeclared to business.
I never had much of a problem with the privilege I was born into or the path my brother had already laid out for me.
I don’t love it, but it is what it is. I never felt the need to advertise it, though—nepotism isn’t exactly something to flaunt.
Still, it never bothered me the way it bothered him.
He wanted to break free from his family’s control, but he didn’t know how.
So instead of doing what they wanted, he chose to do nothing.
TJ’s jaw clenches, and he opens his mouth to say something that, based on our previous interactions since we broke up, I knew would hit me as hard as my last comment had hit him. Laurie does too and tries to stop him, but Annabelle beats them both.
“Truly, didn’t all our families buy our way into college? Mine did, and I’m not afraid to admit it. Maybe… not publicly, but with you all, I have no problem.”
She’s lying. She got in on her own merit. Her mother would have rather paid to keep her out than to help her.
Her attempt to defuse the situation falls flat. TJ is glaring at me, and I glare right back.
“I tried to hold it in, but I can’t anymore,” West says, breaking our staring contest. “Can someone tell me why the two of you broke up?” He points between the two of us.
Right then, Nate, who is sitting beside him, frowns oddly at Annabelle and asks, “Did you just kick me?”
Annabelle grimaces. “Sorry, it was for him,” she says, pointing at West, just as he loudly exclaims, “Ouch!” receiving the kick that was intended for him.
“That was unnecessary,” West tells his sister, leaning down to rub his leg—though I’m pretty sure it’s more for show—before adjusting the sleeves of his white button-down.
“I’m just asking what everyone wants to know.
So… is someone going to answer?” He looks around the table, waiting for a response.
The whole table falls silent, and it’s clear by the look on most of our friends’ faces that they don’t know the whole story.
The only ones who do are TJ, Nate, and me, and I’m the only one aware that Nate knows.
Annabelle knows the condensed version. Lucian could know, since he and Nate are best friends and live together, but I don’t think he does.
I’m sure they all want to know, but we’re not the kind of friends who pressure each other for answers. We wait until someone’s ready to talk. Well… everyone except for West and me.
The silence stretches on for a while, until TJ breaks it, delivering the comeback punch Annabelle stopped him from giving earlier.
“I just found out she’s fucked in the head, mate,” he replies sharply, then looks away at the plants.
I swallow hard and blink a few times as I tell myself that he doesn’t mean it, but maybe he does. And that it doesn’t hurt, but it does, especially because I have spent more time in psychiatrists’ offices than I care to admit, but it is better than what actually happened.
I attempt not to do it, but I glance at Nate, who has been awfully quiet during the whole brunch. He turns to look at me, his expression full of pity. I hate that look.
A part of me has always been worried he would be the one to reveal what happened.
I think he wouldn’t do it, at least not without my permission, but I am not sure.
And according to Laurie, the fact that he and TJ have been in a passive-aggressive mood since Nate returned from his visit to me in Paris hasn’t been helping much.
“TJ,” Laurie scolds him. I make a gesture with my hand, signalling to Laurie that I don’t need him to defend me.
“Honestly, it was for the better.” I force a bratty smile, trying to mask the vulnerability.
“I finally got rid of my shackles. And wow… what I was missing. French men definitely know how to please a woman,” I add, attempting to sound as careless and slutty as possible.
But it feels like I’m wearing someone else’s skin.
I just hope TJ doesn’t notice I’m lying.
In my twenty years of life, I’ve only slept with three people, and two of them have been in the past four months.
And none of them were French, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“So, Little Nelly finally stopped being a one-man kind of girl,” West teases, clearly enjoying poking at TJ. Since that’s the main goal, I let the nickname slide, focusing on the tension it creates.
TJ is looking at me like I wronged him. He wronged me first, but he does have a couple of valid reasons to be mad at me—even hate me.