Chapter Seventeen #3
The sudden and complete certainty of the realization shocked her. Tears spilled from her eyes as she took deep breaths, still underneath his comforting weight.
Brayden leaned back, a cocky grin on his face. But when he saw her expression, his brown eyes searched her face. He slid off, taking her into his arms.
“Are you all right?”
“I’ve never been better,” she sniffled.
“Why the tears?” He tilted her chin up and brushed them away with the tips of his fingers.
“I believed for so long something was wrong with me, but with you, just now, everything was perfect. So perfect. I can’t believe I’m crying after sex. I swear I’m not usually like this.” She attempted to smile and let out a long sigh.
“That sex was perfect for me too. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. Trust me, you’re a goddess. And it’s so different with someone you love, right?”
Is he saying he loves me?
His gaze flew to hers, and she nodded. She did love him.
“I’m afraid I’m feeling too much,” she admitted.
“It’s not feeling too much, because I’m feeling it too.
” He squeezed her tighter to him. “I think I’ve loved you since we were kids—since that first time in the middle of the night when I saw you peering into the mirror looking so curious, with your gorgeous blonde hair wild around you.
I think it’s safe to say you own my heart and my soul, and you always have,” he whispered.
Several more tears spilled down her cheeks, and Brayden kissed them away.
The intimate gesture gave her courage. “I dream about you all the time. When I’m in that place between sleep and awake, it’s like I’m always looking for you. It’s been that way for years,” said Scarlett, her throat thick. “I love you. I know it’s too soon, but I do.”
His hand moved up and down her back in long, soothing strokes.
“Shh,” he said, trying to calm her. “It’s not too soon.
I’m right there with you. I love you too—truly, I do.
You saw me in the mirror when you met Nori, and we’re North Stars.
” He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.
“I knew it before, through the mirror. This pull to you was always in the back of my mind, pushing me to speak to you, making me dream about you. I’ve had so many dreams about you too.
I’ve wondered so many times what we could be. My love for you runs so deep.”
Scarlett burst into tears of relief. Her embarrassment melted away, leaving only shining joy as he kissed her languorously for a long time.
Brayden broke away. “I’ll be right back,” he murmured. He slipped out of bed, and she was instantly chilled without his body next to hers. As he crossed the room to the bathroom, his strong, naked body brought her desire bubbling to the surface again, shocking her with its refusal to subside.
When Brayden reemerged, she took his place in the bathroom. As she gazed in the mirror, she almost didn’t recognize herself. This version of Scarlett had a tattoo, her hair was a mess—she looked like she’d been thoroughly fucked—and her reflection radiated happiness.
She climbed into his bed, her limbs heavy.
“Let me hold you.” Brayden arranged her so her back was to his chest. He draped his arm over her, and their legs intertwined.
She was in a total state of bliss—until she thought ahead to what would happen in the morning. How could she leave him here? She fell asleep thinking about Soleil.
Scarlett awoke in the dim light of Brayden’s room. She stretched her naked body and reveled in the delicious sensation of his arms around her.
Brayden stirred. She repositioned herself, threaded her leg through his, and burrowed into his warm chest.
“Good morning, gorgeous,” he said into her hair.
“Mmm. Last night was—”
“Everything.” His fingers moved along her bare back.
Brayden had just begun sleepily fondling Scarlett’s breast when a brisk knock at his door startled her, and his eyes flew open. He leaned down to kiss her before stepping into his boxers. She pulled the blanket up to her chin. Who was about to catch her in his room?
Brayden opened the door a crack.
“Good morning,” James said cheerily. “It’s 8 a.m. No morning run? Any reason why?” His chuckle was audible through the door.
Scarlett’s shoulders relaxed. James was preferable to Manon, Lachlan, or Beni.
Brayden blocked the room from view with his body. “I don’t have to be on base until midday today. What do you want?”
“So it’s a coincidence Manon can’t find Scarlett and you’re sleeping past six for the first time in months?”
Scarlett sat up. Shit. How worried was Manon? Especially after recent events.
“Not a coincidence. Scarlett’s here with me.” Brayden’s voice was edged with warning.
“Can I come in and say good morning?” James’s voice rang with false innocence.
“No chance, dipshit,” snarled Brayden as Scarlett yelped, “No!” from his bed.
“Nice to see you two are exploring the connection,” said James, amusement in his voice.
“Is there something you need, or are you just here to be an asshole?” asked Brayden.
“I’m leaving for work in an hour. Scarlett, I heard you’re a vox,” he said through the crack in the door. “Do you want to come to work with me today? You could learn more about your valor and do some networking.”
“Ooh—yes!” called Scarlett from the bed.
“Dad’s looking for you, by the way.”
“Thanks. Now fuck off, please,” said Brayden as he shut the door.
Scarlett already had her pajamas on. “I’m going to go find Manon.”
“Before you go…” He reached for her as she pulled the trench coat on over her pajamas.
She threaded her arms around his waist. “Yes?”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “After last night…”—he kissed her on the mouth—“I hope you’ll stay in Clair de Lune longer than you planned. I want you to stay.” He searched her face.
She stiffened in his arms and looked up at him, wishing she could do what he wanted in good conscience.
It was tempting. Of course she wanted to stay with him.
But he knew she couldn’t. Sure, he’d given her three orgasms last night, bringing her lifetime total up to four, but that didn’t give him the right to ask her to stay.
He didn’t even have the decency to phrase it as a question, and for one unholy moment she was reminded of Alastair and all his pushy opinions about what he wanted her future to be.
As Brayden waited for her answer, his gaze dropped to the floor, and he took a step back, folding his arms over his chest.
She took a deep breath, calming herself.
Brayden was not Alastair. He just believed they were North Stars—whatever that was—and was letting himself get a little too protective.
Normally, she’d adore that coming from him.
But she had to go back to Soleil. There was no other way, or else she’d be damning her country to a magicless existence, and her stepmother would go free.
She wasn’t about to let Laylani and whoever she was working with get away with what they’d done.
If Scarlett didn’t believe her presence could make a difference, she’d pack it all in and stay in Clair de Lune for good.
But in her heart of hearts, she knew she could change things.
And if her gut was right, she could also get revenge for what Laylani and Moira had done to her and her family.
“I can’t,” she said finally, her tone firm but her expression pleading. “I love you, but—” She stepped closer to Brayden, but he moved out of reach.
“You won’t put your own safety first? For me? It makes me sick, the idea of you going back there.”
“I want to put you first. I’d marry you to get you into Soleil.” The words slipped out of her mouth without hesitation.
His eyes blazed with anger. “You’d marry me to get me into Soleil? The proposal I’ve always dreamed of. You’re only suggesting that because you can’t have me and revenge, so you’re compromising.”
He was right, but she hated the way he was throwing it in her face.
Brayden exhaled loudly. “My options are to let you risk your life alone or have a visa wedding neither of us is ready for.” He spun away from her. Running his hands over his face, he snapped, “We shouldn’t have slept together.”
“You regret sleeping with me?” It had been the best night of her life. His regret was like a knife to the heart.
He pulled a T-shirt over his head and then fixed his gaze on her.
The hurt in his eyes was a mirror to her own.
“I underestimated how hard this would be. Finding out you’re my North Star—my Goddess-blessed North Star—and having you for a night, just long enough to realize how fucked my life would be without you, and now you’re going back without me?
You’ll be alone in Soleil with your little brother and the stepmother who tried to kill you, and I won’t be able to save you when they come for you again.
I regret having you for one night only to lose you. ”
Her heart ached. “It’ll kill me to leave you, but I have to do the right thing.
If I walk away from Soleil, I’ll hate myself.
” She blinked back her tears, refusing to break down.
“You’re right—we shouldn’t have had sex last night,” she said in a tight voice, her stomach in knots.
She only regretted it because he did, but it was regret all the same.
Before Brayden could say anything else, she fled. Maybe she’d found the flaw in their so-called fated compatibility after all. If this ended them, he couldn’t have been more wrong about what it meant to be North Stars.
But being right wouldn’t make losing him hurt any less.