9. Jude
JUDE
I take a deep breath and knock three times. The glass door is ajar. Declan must leave it open at night to hear the ocean.
A rumbled sound of a man’s rhythmic breathing flows out, and I pause.
He’s asleep. And this is a bad idea. I can leave now, and he won’t even know I came. No one will.
Or I could stay and let him make me come. Multiple times if I’m lucky.
I bite my lip at my inner voice that sounds a lot like Mel. I snuck out after she went to sleep, not wanting her to know I was coming in case I changed my mind.
But now that I’m here, I could take a quick look inside. I mean, maybe it’ll feel wrong once I cross the threshold. Then I’ll know for sure I should leave.
I crack the door wide enough to step through, pushing it almost closed behind me. The drapes knock gently against the glass panes. The room is pitch black, except for a faint crack of moonlight coming through the gap in the door.
I wait for my eyes to adjust. I can make out his muscular form on the bed—a large, hulking shadow. But that’s all.
If I trip over something and die, it’ll serve me right for thinking with my vagina.
Because the truth is, I really want to have sex again.
With anyone that isn’t Callum. I hate that the last man to touch me is a liar and a cheat and is probably having his dick sucked by my ex-friend at this very moment.
She’s probably using my shampoo and sleeping on my side of the bed too.
This is exactly why I need tonight to help me forget.
Pulling back my shoulders with resolve, I tread carefully toward the bed. I don’t know why I’m being quiet. I mean, I need Declan to wake up if we’re going to have sex.
My stomach jumps with last-minute nerves. But I’m here. And I’m doing this.
I clear my throat, and Declan stirs.
“Hi,” I breathe.
His sharp intake of breath slices through my ears as he bolts upright. My stupidity slaps me across the face. He could think I’m an intruder and take me out in a flash. That’s not the kind of pounding I had in mind.
“It’s Jude,” I say in a rush. “I knocked three times, but you didn’t wake up.”
His shadowed frame is blazing with heat that fills the space between us as he leans toward me.
“I don’t want you to talk,” I whisper, stepping closer and placing my finger to his mouth before he can say anything that might make me wimp out and ruin this. “I don’t know if I should even be here.”
I stroke the pad of my finger over his lips, reveling in how smooth and kissable they are. They’re framed with the perfect amount of stubble that will feel great grazing my inner thighs if I get that chance.
I shiver at the thought. Callum never liked going down on me. He didn’t admit it, but it was obvious from the fact he’d never instigate it, and never stayed there long enough to make me come.
I’ve no idea what coming on a man’s face feels like. But God, do I want to find out one day.
I climb onto the bed. The cotton sheets are cool and smell freshly laundered.
“Wh—”
“Ssh.” I press the tips of two more fingers to his mouth this time, indulging myself in the softness of them. “Don’t speak. We both know why I’m here, and it’s not for the conversation.”
His chest rumbles with a rough groan as I slide my leg over him and straddle his lap.
I’m glad I can’t see him. I can pretend in the dark.
He can’t see my eyes and I can’t see his.
I’m not a woman with hurt in her eyes whose fiancé betrayed her.
I’m a woman with a pulsing ache between her thighs, ready to give and receive pleasure for the hell of it and nothing else.
I take a deep breath, placing my hands on his bare shoulders. He stiffens under my touch as I smooth them over his taut skin. Just being close to him like this, inhaling his deep, masculine scent of clean, salty skin, has my core thrumming to life.
I slide my hands down his torso, exploring each ridge and groove of his abs that Mel’s always talking about. Touching them, they feel even better than I imagined they would. Strong and solid. Declan’s got a toned physique, an athletic one. But up close, all of him seems thicker and more powerful.
“You feel good,” I breathe.
His slow breaths are his only response. He’s keeping quiet, just like I asked him to. Him doing as I’ve instructed sparks a ripple of confidence inside me.
I circle my hips and grind against him. The sheets are pooled at his waist and brush my inner thighs. My thin, oversized T-shirt is the only thing between us as I lean closer.
I’m not wearing panties. My mission’s objective was clear once I left mine and Mel’s bungalow.
He grabs my hips roughly, stilling me like he’s angry. My breath catches in my throat, and I wait to see if he’s going to stop me. If I’m going to walk away from here as embarrassed as I felt in that hallway before my wedding.
My cheeks heat and I’m even more thankful for the darkness.
“Do you want me to leave?” I whisper.
Thick fingers flex on my hips, and his breath deepens into ragged exhales like an internal war is raging inside him.
I lean back like I can study his expression for clues. But the room is too dark.
“Do you?” I repeat.
He pulls me back to him, and I gasp as my chest hits his and my pebbled nipples strain against my T-shirt.
“No.” The single gruff syllable sounds more like a growl than a word.
His sleepy voice is so much deeper, rougher. Sexier.
With a bruising grip on my hips he encourages me to bring my weight down into his lap and onto the solid thickness beneath the sheets.
It fills the space between my thighs completely. It’s big. Hot, thick, hard as steel, giant as a novelty dildo, big.
Oh…
Jesus, that girl in the sundress walked out of here to catch a cab. Surely, she should have been carried out to an ambulance after taking that thing.
I swallow. “Wow, I don’t know if I can—”
He grinds me against him, letting out a deep moan that’s so raw and sexual I feel it all the way to my toes.
Guess I’m about to find out.
I slide one hand up to his shoulder and lever myself up so I can tug the sheets out of the way. Before I can lower myself down, he grabs my face.
We’re nose to nose, breath to breath, and my heart is threatening to beat out of my chest at the sudden intensity that’s filled the air. I don’t dare move, let alone speak. I can make out the slightest glimmer from the moonlight reflecting in his pupils, but that’s all.
Rough-skinned, but tender thumbs caress my cheeks as he inspects me by touch alone.
His breath is warm and minty, and I lick my lips as he strokes the back of my neck with deft fingertips. It’s like a delicious massage, and I lean into it.
“That’s nice,” I whisper.
My muscles melt under his touch, and I arch toward him, more than happy to oblige and hand myself over to his skilled hands.
Letting my eyes fall closed, I let out a breathy moan. It’s all so gentle, so soft and tender. Having someone explore me in the dark with such care is something I could definitely get used to.
“So nice,” I murmur again. Maybe I don’t even need sex. A massage in the dark feels pretty damn spectacular.
He eases my body down until my skin grazes his. I let out an appreciative moan as his hard shaft slips into place against my growing wetness and presses against my aching clit.
I should definitely take the sex too.
I drag in a breath, rocking my hips and sliding slowly up and down his length. I’m so turned on I could probably come like this before he even gets inside me.
“What’s—”
His lips capture mine with an urgent dominance, stealing the question over what I just felt from my mouth, and swallowing it down. I don’t have time to think. He’s everywhere. His lips sliding over mine. His tongue slipping inside my mouth like he has every right to.
He kisses like a man who demands what he wants, when I thought I was the one who instigated this for my own needs.
I gasp at the sudden change in him, but he steals the sound, making it his own. Making every whimper from my lips and beat of my pulse belong to him.
His touch might be gentle and tender. But his kiss is possessive and demanding, consuming me, while pulling more and more from me like he’s staking his claim and showing me that I’m his now. Showing me that I will give him everything, and still beg him to take more.
And because the darkness makes me feel freer, and because God knows I need this, not only do I let him; I join him.
I steal from him as he takes from me.
Kissing him back, I challenge his intensity with my own, moaning and whimpering into his mouth as he steps it up a gear, kissing the life out of me in a way that makes me question whether I have ever truly been kissed before.
Because this… this is on another level.
My pussy slips up and down his dick, marking him with my wetness. I slide a hand between us and wrap it around him, wanting to investigate what I felt earlier. But he delivers a dominating bite to my lower lip, making me whimper and pause my exploration.
He pulls his mouth from mine, and I blurt out before he speaks, taking myself by surprise.
“Do you want to taste me?”
He sucks in a rough breath at my question.
I’m taking it as a yes whether it is or not. I will not allow Callum’s lack of reciprocation in oral sex to give me a complex over the way I taste.
I have to know if it was just Callum. And it’s so dark that even if Declan screws his face up in disgust when he tastes me, I won’t know because I can’t see it.
I gather up some of my wetness from his dick and reach for his mouth.
I can’t see where I’m going and I hit his chin by accident with my trembling hand, smearing some over it.
He grabs my wrist, holding it still, and the second his hot tongue wraps around my fingers and he sucks down onto them, my eyes roll in my head.
Fuck, this man’s mouth.
He groans and grabs my wrist, forcing my fingers to remain inside his mouth as I try to retrieve them.
That one simple act has relief flowing through my body in a blissful wave.