Chapter 45
It was like losing you all over again. And I realized I couldn’t let that happen.
Not to someone else.
—Letter from Kiyan to his family, unsent
Kiyan
“Your highness, Ramishah is back. We should convene the council. She says she has more information.”
I nodded at the rebel, unused to being addressed like this yet—addressed by my status as a Prince when I felt like anything but.
When I arrived I assumed I’d be treated like an enemy of my Court, not a new leader to rally behind.
But when we’d carried Tal and Yaseema into camp, I could feel the spark of hope in the fae around me.
Rubbing my eyes, I placed my quill down on the desk. Then I stood, stretching my arms above my head, and followed the soldier from my tent.
“How is Yaseema? Has Zaye given her report?”
But before the soldier could respond I stopped short at the glimpse of dark, thick curls wild in the wind on the other side of the camp. Yaseema was walking—no, striding across the camp as if her legs hadn’t been a bloodied, broken mess a few days prior.
Something released in my chest, that dark feeling that had been gathered since I’d seen her destroyed on the floor of the dungeon dissipating.
She didn’t look my way. Instead, her dark eyes were blazing. I followed her gaze to Mishah, standing with her arms around Zaye, laughing at something she’d said to her.
Mishah had told me that she’d betrayed Yaseema to the Viceroy, in the hopes that they’d stop her leaving with the crown, but that she’d regretted it immediately.
I had my own anger with her decision, but Yaseema should carry its bulk. I understood the thought process about what Ramishah had done, even if I didn’t agree with it. But now the Viceroy had the crown, and we needed to take it back before he properly used it.
Yaseema strode forward, her expression fierce, anger flashing in her eyes.
I felt such immense relief at seeing it, indignation instead of the pain and fear and sadness.
I quickened my steps, trying to intercept her but ended up reaching Yaseema just as she reached Mishah.
“Mishah,” Yaseema said, her voice filled with hurt.
The people near us quieted. Others turned to listen—nearly the entire camp had come out to greet Mishah, the rebel leader who had rallied nearly this entire resistance.
She’d been here when we’d brought Tal and Yaseema but had slipped out as quickly as she’d come.
She’d had to get back to the palace as soon as she’d helped me—but not before giving me a scolding about what I’d done, despite the relief I saw in her eyes.
I knew it was idiotic, and I’d given up a major advantage the rebels had.
I knew I could have stayed at the palace and tried to steal the crown back a lot easier than the situation we were in now.
But seeing Yaseema standing in the middle of the rebel camp alive, healthy and full of anger, I couldn’t bring myself to care.
Mishah pulled away from Zaye and stared back at Yaseema.
“I see you’ve recovered then. Managed to get yourself caught by the Viceroy, did you?”
I sucked in a breath.
Yaseema reared back, hurt flickering across her face. But she steeled herself quickly.
If Mishah’s plan was to enrage Yaseema further, it was certainly working—her eyes flashed with outrage and she seemed about ready to do battle. She pushed her spectacles up farther on her face and took a step forward, her hands planted on her hips.
I cleared my throat, noticing the entire rebel camp was now witnessing this interaction. We needed to stay united and rally behind each other—including Yaseema—if we were going to be successful against Reza.
“Maybe we can take this conversation to my tent and discuss our strategy going forward? Mishah, I can’t imagine you have long before you have to get back to the palace.”
Yaseema whirled around upon hearing my voice, her expression like a wounded animal.
I winced, realizing what she must be feeling—both Mishah and I had been working against the Court of Salt right in front of her without breathing a word to her. And at what point did the line blur between us and I should have told her?
When Yaseema and Mishah had become true friends?
When I had kissed her?
When we’d held each other in bed?
“What a good idea,” Zaye said firmly. “Let’s go, Mish.” She tugged on Mishah’s hand.
When Mishah didn’t say anything, I gave a great sigh. I nodded toward the group that had begun to gather and gave Mishah a pointed look before heading back to my tent. I was worried I’d be alone, but after a few seconds I heard the reprimands of Zaye and the grumblings of Mishah behind me.
I turned as they lifted the flap of my tent and filed through, with Yaseema bringing up the rear as she tentatively stepped through the doorway.
Mishah folded her arms across her chest, clearly not about to explain anything. I rolled my eyes.
“By the River, Mishah.” I turned to Yaseema, who was watching Ramishah as if she didn’t know who she was. “Mishah came to find me as soon as the Viceroy took you to the dungeons. Yes, we worked together, but she helped to get you out.”
“And when I killed the general? He was telling the truth wasn’t he? He was attacking her because he found out she was a rebel.”
“Yes, you did more than save her that day. You protected our entire operation at the palace.”
“And yet you accused me of being a rebel.” She turned back to Mishah. “And I told you everything in the dungeon about who I was. I thought we were friends.”
Mishah rose a brow. “Friends? I can’t afford the luxury of friends when my people are dying. I thought you would understand something like that.” She looked at me. “Friendship and love aren’t things we can afford in a time like this.”
I winced at her wording but ignored the pointed dig.
“Excuse me?” Zaye asked, looking hurt.
“I didn’t mean us,” she said hastily.
But I didn’t need to hear Mishah’s lectures, because they were no different than those I’d given myself.
“That’s not true.” Yaseema’s voice was quiet and determined.
“What isn’t?”
“Love.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I stared determinedly ahead.
“Oh?”
“If we can’t love while we are fighting for our lives, then what are our lives for? What are we fighting for if not love?”
It was an echo of my own words to her just a few days ago.
A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth, and she walked past me to sit down on the chaise beside my desk.
The scent of lemons and parchment followed in her wake, and I wanted to breathe it in, to lose myself in her until I didn’t need anything else.
But Mishah was partially right. I couldn’t forget everything else for the sake of my own desires. I couldn’t only focus on the things I wanted. Freeing my family only made sense if it meant saving everyone else. Saving Yaseema was the one selfish thing I’d allowed myself, and it had cost me.
And so, with great effort I sat at my desk, clearing off the map of our Court I’d been studying before Mishah had arrived.
Mishah huffed out a response and sat down beside her.
“We were friends,” she said, begrudgingly. “We are. I didn’t tell you anything because I didn’t want you to get tortured for what you knew—but you figured out how to do that anyway, so maybe I shouldn’t have bothered.”
“With help from you,” muttered Yaseema.
Mishah snorted a laugh. To my surprise, Yaseema smiled back.
“Besides, do you think I would have helped Kiyan get you out of the palace if I didn’t like you? And you’re right.” Mishah ran her hands through her dark hair. “Love is the one thing we should be able to count on right now.”
Mishah threw Zaye a glance and then looked at me.
I cleared my throat. “Well, now that’s taken care of, there is something a little pressing we must do.”
“The crown,” Yaseema said, sitting up straight on the chaise.
“The crown,” I agreed.
“Reza has it, but he must go to Tirich Mir to use it.”
“Yes, and that’s where we’ll take it.”
Mishah gaped at him. “He’ll have the entire Salt army with him.”
“Perhaps it’s time we finally meet him face to face, in open battle, instead of in the shadows.”
“If he manages to get his hands on you, he’ll drain you.”
“Yes, but if he gets to the Mountain with the crown, we’ll have lost our only opportunity. He might manage to break the curse and kill my family.”
“But we can’t meet him out in the open, we don’t have that kind of power to meet him head-on.”
“That’s why we take him here.” I pointed to the section of the map I’d been studying closely for the past few days.
“The Khangar Pass?” Mishah looked over his shoulder. “That’s cutting it close.”
“It’s the only place we could have a strategic advantage. And it’s close enough that we could steal the crown and try to use it ourselves to break the curse.”
I looked at Yaseema, who was quietly studying at the map. She raised her eyes to mine.
“I shouldn’t have taken the crown,” she said quietly, and Mishah raised her head. “It’s yours. I’ll find another way to help my world. Right now, the important thing is stopping the Viceroy.” She moved closer to me, studying the pass. I breathed her in again.
“After we use the crown to break the curse, we’ll find a way,” I said to her. The words felt hollow, but I meant them. “We aren’t free unless all of us are.”
“I’ve always wanted to visit the human lands,” Mishah said, with a wry grin.
Then she abruptly got up and slung her arm around Zaye. “But we have limited time until that happens. The Viceroy is going to head to Tirich Mir tomorrow—he’s preparing the troops. The kitchens have never been so busy. I have to leave soon.”
She nodded at me. “I’ll tell the council what I know. You stay here. We’ll leave in the morning.”
They slipped out of the tent, leaving Yaseema and me alone.
The silence was heavy and crackling between us. I turned to look at her after the quiet hung in the air for too long.
“We leave tomorrow?”