Five | Lyric
Five
Lyric
My palms sweated profusely while I waited for Cole to return with the kids.
They were coming for dinner, and I had no idea what to make, so I panicked and ordered pizza.
What kid didn’t like pizza? It was a staple in our house growing up, so I couldn’t imagine that Clay hadn’t passed that down to his kids as well.
I wasn’t sure when to have the kids move in because it didn’t feel like there would ever be a right time.
But Cole and I had talked earlier, and we both agreed that the sooner, the better.
It was best to rip the Band-Aid off and take that next step.
I knew the kids were close with him and had been living with him ever since the fire, but I had no idea how they were supposed to walk away from him and be comfortable staying with me.
Cole seemed to pick up on that as well, because he offered to stay with us for a few weeks until the kids were settled in.
I knew he planned to sleep on the couch, but I hated the idea of how much he was sacrificing for us.
Only four of the five bedrooms were set up, which meant he would either have to share my room or we would have to really push to get the last room set up for him.
I had originally planned to turn that room into an office so I could work from home, but I knew I couldn’t be selfish when everyone had been through so much already.
A knock on the door startled me as I rushed over and pulled it open.
Mirror images of my brother stared back at me as I took in how much Ben and Kara had grown since I’d last seen them.
Chloe had been a newborn when I came back for her mother’s funeral, so she and I never got to know each other.
Hell, I hadn’t taken the time to get to know any of them, if I were being brutally honest with myself.
“Hi, guys,” I said, hating how high-pitched my voice came out. “Come on in.”
I stepped back to let them inside, feeling the weight of the looks Ben and Kara gave me.
They definitely had their guards up, and I knew it would take a lot for me to earn their trust, given how absent I had been in their lives.
Chloe clung to Cole’s neck, her little arms locked around him as if she were afraid he’d leave her alone with me.
I pressed my tongue against the roof of my mouth as I tried to force the threatening tears away. Now was not the time for any of that. These kids needed to see that they could trust me to take care of them, and that wouldn’t happen if I stood there, falling apart in front of them.
“The pizza just got here,” I said, my voice slightly shaky as I closed the door behind Cole. “We can sit at the table and have dinner if you guys are ready.”
“Sounds great, thank you,” Cole replied, giving me the most reassuring smile I had ever seen.
My heart did that flippy-floppy thing it used to do when we first started dating, so I patted my chest, forcing it to stop. No one had time for that shit.
I grabbed a few bottles of water from the fridge and set them on the table, immediately second-guessing it when they stared at me like I had three heads.
Should I have gotten soda instead? I had no idea what they liked, yet I had spent so much time at the store trying to stock the house with stuff for them.
I should have realized I was so far in over my head that I needed help and should have asked Cole for a list of essentials earlier.
It was too late for that, so I pulled my shoulders back and set the rest of the bottles of water on the table before taking a seat.
It was a long table that I could picture Clay having family dinners at.
The difference was that they would have loved that with their dad, and I could imagine everyone laughing and talking about their day.
With me, they all sat stiff and rigid, not bothering to take a slice of pizza as Cole opened the boxes.
Before I could freak out and flee the room, Cole took charge and started putting slices of pizza on their plates.
“This is my favorite pizza,” he said, more to the kids than me. “I used to get this with your dad and Aunt Lyric when I was younger. We would spend every Friday night ordering pizza and staying up late to watch movies.”
“Did Dad get pineapple on his pizza back then, or did he wait to become a weirdo after he met Mom?” Ben asked.
“That would be thanks to your mom,” I replied with a laugh. “Gosh, I still remember how much Mel loved pineapple on her pizza. Your dad used to think it was crazy, but then he fell in love and everything your mom liked, your dad liked, too.”
“Is that what love is supposed to do to you?” Kara asked, chiming in as she took a small bite and set the slice back on her plate.
I shrugged and let out a heavy breath because I had no clue how to answer that. It wasn’t like I was one to talk because I had walked away from my marriage. My situation was very different from the loving marriage their dad had with their mother.
“Love doesn’t look the same for anyone. No one can know what love will be like for them until they’re in it,” Cole answered, taking the pressure off me. “Most of the time, you don’t even realize you’re in love until it bites you in the butt.”
“Butt,” Chloe said, scrunching her face as she giggled.
Cole shook his head and grinned at her before booping her on the nose.
It was nice to see how comfortable they were with Cole and how much they truly loved him.
I hated the sharp sting that pierced deep in my heart, making me question whether I was doing the right thing by becoming their legal guardian.
Were they really that much better off with me, the aunt who moved away six years ago and hadn’t checked in since?
Or would they have a better life if Cole took that role instead?