Thirty-Nine | Lyric
Thirty-Nine
Lyric
I tapped my fingers anxiously on my thigh as I sat on the exam table, waiting for the doctor to come in.
It had taken a few weeks to get in with the OBGYN, but I was thankful that we were able to do an ultrasound today as well.
I had done my best not to stress about being pregnant, but it was hard given how all the others had ended.
Cole reached over and squeezed my hand gently, letting me know he was there for me. There was a knock at the door, then a woman who looked to be around my age walked in.
“Hi, sorry for the wait,” she said, closing the door behind her as she glanced at the clipboard in her hand before smiling at us. “I’m Doctor Navarro.”
“No worries,” I answered, forcing a smile, but the thought that she had the potential to break my heart in a few minutes left me uneasy.
I had been through so many ultrasounds that I learned not to get my hopes up.
There were the ones that were done as soon as we found out I was pregnant, only to confirm there was no heartbeat.
Then there were the ones that left us feeling a false sense of security when there was a heartbeat for several weeks, only to have it stop later on.
“I see that we’re doing an intrauterine pregnancy check to make sure the pregnancy is developing safely in the right place and to confirm the date of gestation. Is that correct?” She lowered the clipboard and looked at us, waiting for an answer.
“Yes,” I replied quietly, knowing Cole heard the hesitation in my voice when he squeezed my hand again. “We are confirming that this one is a viable pregnancy. We understand that there might not be a heartbeat or that...”
She smiled sadly at me as understanding registered across her face.
“We’ve been through this a lot,” I continued, wanting her to know that no matter what the news was, I could handle it. “I’ve had several miscarriages over the years and have never carried past thirteen weeks. We know that there is a good chance...”
I stopped when I felt Cole’s hand slip from mine as a look of devastation flashed across his face.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “But I just don’t want to get my hopes up.”
“Just because we’ve had bad experiences in the past doesn’t mean this will be one, too,” Cole said quietly.
“I’m sorry for the losses you’ve both experienced,” Doctor Navarro said gently. “I understand how difficult this can be. I’m happy to do the scan however you need, to give you the most peace.”
“Honestly, the sooner we can get it over with, the better,” I replied, knowing that I must have sounded like the worst mother in the world because what mother would want to rush through this?
She nodded and got everything ready while I laid back on the bed, adjusting the gown I was wearing.
I had done this so many times that I knew what to expect.
She talked us through every single step, with Cole responding to her while I tuned everything out.
I needed to get out of my head as much as possible, and I couldn’t do that if I heard the hope in her voice as she started the scan.
I closed my eyes and played a song in my head, trying to force myself to hear anything other than what was being said. Tears slid down my cheeks as Cole held onto my hand again, making sure I knew he was still there with me.
I was so lost in my head that I didn’t hear what the doctor said next. It wasn’t until I felt Cole gently shaking my arm that I opened my eyes and lifted my head to see the doctor smiling at me.
“They both have very strong heartbeats,” Doctor Navarro said happily.
My eyes widened as I looked from her to the monitor, staring in disbelief.
She pointed to the screen while holding the probe still as she explained what she was pointing at.
“Here is Baby A and here is Baby B,” she said, her grin so wide it forced one of my own to appear. “You can see that there is a separate gestational sac and the fetal pole for each of them is measuring around 1.5 cm, so I would say you’re around eight weeks pregnant.”
“There are two of them?” I asked, my voice raspy as my throat suddenly felt too dry. “Two babies?”
“Yes. It appears to be fraternal twins given the separate sacs, but we can confirm that after birth if you’d like. Would you like to hear the heartbeats?”
I nodded, my lower lip trembling so hard that I bit down on it in an attempt to stop it.
I held my breath and waited while she turned a knob on the machine.
The sound immediately filled the room as I continued to stare in disbelief as she showed us the rapid flicker in the chest area for each baby, confirming that they were both okay.
I leaned back against the bed when she was done, trying my best to stop getting too attached to the idea of having twins.
I knew that Cole was over the moon ecstatic about this, but I held off any enthusiasm because I wouldn’t put it past the universe to take something this special from us.
It had happened before, which meant it could happen again.