42. Chapter 42
Chapter forty- two
— FAITHFULLY BY JOURNEY
“This might sting a little,” the doctor says as she massages my throat. It feels like I have sandpaper in my airway, and suddenly, I’m catapulted back to the last time I felt like this.
It’s over, I remind myself. Ralph can’t hurt me anymore. Vince made sure of that when he punched his face in.
For me. He did that for me , and I don't know how I’ll thank him for saving my life.
But I feel just as broken as before, like I’m watching all this happen from outside my body. I don't know how to get back. I don't know how to go back to normal after this. What is normal? What does it mean to be normal? I’ve got no fucking clue, but with Vince and my family by my side, I’ll get through it. I know I can. I just have to trust they’re at the table with me. They’ll carry some of the weight because they love me.
They stayed with me through all this. They love me, and when they need me to sit at the table with them in the future, I’ll be the first one in my chair. After all they’ve done for me, it’s the least I can do.
Ralph is gone. Now, maybe I can move in the right direction without worrying about the other shoe dropping.
The doctor finishes her assessment and scribbles a few things down on a piece of paper before she hands it to Vince .
“I’m prescribing some medicine to help with the pain. Keep her hydrated, maybe tea with lots of honey, and try some lozenges to help with coughing and her voice. It should heal over the next few weeks.” She looks at me. “Try not to overuse your voice, and you’ll be fine. The bruises should heal and put some ointment on your wrists and ankles to help those.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Vince says as he leads her out of the room. I hear him and Nico saying something before Vince returns, picks me up off the bed, and walks over to the shower before turning it on.
He strips off all my clothes for me, and I let him because it feels nice to be taken care of, especially by him. He’s gentle as he places me in the shower, joining me a few seconds later.
“Careful of your bandages, angel,” Vince says, his voice rough with emotion. It sounded like that sentence was hard to get out, and all I want is to make him feel better.
He hasn't taken his eyes off me since we left the ambulance, and I know he’s blaming himself for what happened. It’s what I’ve been doing the entire time too, but if Dr. Anna has taught me anything, it’s that none of this was my fault. It wasn't Vince’s either. It was Ralph’s. He’s the one who shoulders the blame for all of this.
The hot water hurts as it beats down on my bruises and scrapes. It has to be almost morning, and I can’t wait to sleep for two days straight. My body is tired. My mind is equally drained, and it might take me a few days to adjust to feeling like I’m not being hunted all the time.
But my life is mine again, and I can finally breathe a little better knowing I have some of the control back. It’s taken months for me to feel okay again, and even though Dr. Anna and I are going to be having lots of conversations about tonight, they don't scare me. It might take a few sessions to come to terms with what happened, but I’m stronger now .
In fact, I’m looking forward to talking about tonight, healing from it, and leaving it where it should be left—in the past, out of my head.
For the first time in my life, I don’t want to spend all my time safely in my head. I want to live . I want to experience all the things I can with Vince, my sister, and my best friend. Tonight has only cemented that for me. Time is so fucking precious, and nobody knows how long we have on this floating rock in space.
I don't want to waste any of that time in my head and ignore the people around me who I love more than anything. As much as I love books, reality is where I want to be more than ever.
Vince pours some shampoo into his hand to wash my hair for me, his hands massaging my scalp as he does. God, this feels good.
I lean back into his embrace, the water beneath us running slightly pink, his hands all red, scraped, and bloody.
“I-I’m bandaging your hands after this, Vince,” I whisper before I cough a few more times.
“Angel, don’t strain your voice. You can take care of me after I take care of you.” He rinses out my shampoo before he grabs the conditioner and massages it into the ends of my hair.
I notice his hands are shaking, and I don't know if it’s because of how much they hurt or if it’s something else. He lets the conditioner sit as he grabs a loofa and squeezes some of his body wash onto it. Vince washes every inch of my body—twice, as if I’ll disappear underneath his touch if he doesn't.
“V-Vince,” I say as I turn to face him and notice tears falling from his eyes. I almost thought it was from the shower, but he’s not the one underneath the spray. “Baby?” I reach up to his face.
“I almost lost you tonight, Bree. Y-You almost…” He trails off, not wanting to say the rest of his sentence.
“I’m right here,” I whisper as I take his hand and place it over the pulse in my hand .
His head dips to my forehead as he takes a deep breath, trying to regain his emotions. His arms wrap around my body, and I let him hold me as I feel his chest heave. He needs this as much as I do because while I feel safe wrapped in his embrace, he needs to know that I’m still here. He needs to feel my heart beating in my chest.
We need this. We need each other.
We chose this. We’re choosing each other, just like we did all those weeks ago when he was in the hospital.
“I love you,” I whisper into his ear. “I’m in love with you, Vince.”
His breath hitches, and he pulls back to face me, his eyes wet with tears. “What did you say?”
“That I love you. I choose you. I love you,” I say in my clearest voice possible.
“God, angel, I love you too,” Vince says before pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “I’ll choose you for the rest of my fucking life,” he says with another kiss against my lips. “Do you remember that conversation we had in the car? About finding peace in someone you love?”
I nod my head, kind of knowing where he’s going with this.
“That’s what you do for me, Bree. I used to feel so restless whenever I took a case, but with you, fuck.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Everything’s quiet. You bring me that soft, tranquil peace that I’ve always needed but was always too afraid I would never find.”
I open my mouth to speak, but Vince shakes his head. “Don’t hurt your voice, Bree. Just let our love hang in the air, okay?”
I nod before he pulls me back into his embrace, the soap washing off my body as I trace a heart across his back with my finger.
He rinses the conditioner out and turns the shower off before he dries me with a towel. I try to silently tell him he needs to sit down so I can wrap his hands and knuckles, but he refuses until I’m dressed.
He throws one of his t-shirts on my body and gives me a pair of his boxers. I have to roll them at the waist a few times to fit comfortably. After he throws some clothes on, he grabs my hand, leads me back into the bathroom, and does my entire skincare routine for me. After he washes his hands, he grabs my lotion and carefully lathers my legs. He avoids my ankles and the gauze around them, not wanting to hurt the raw skin underneath.
Is he doing my entire night routine? I’d be surprised, but of course, Vince knows every step. He’s that attentive, and I just fell a little bit more in love with him.
When we walk back out to his old room, Nico is standing there with a few bags packed, his face lifting as soon as we come out.
“Are you guys ready?”
I look between the two of them, confused.
“We’re heading to Liv and Tristan’s house. Teags is meeting us there. Connie too,” Vince tells me. “Just to get ahead of things, and I don't want you going back in that room if you don’t have to.”
I smile softly at him before I mouth a ‘thank you’ to him, and he kisses my forehead.
Nico leaves the room, and as I go to follow suit, Vince stops me. “No matter what’s thrown our way by the media, the internet, and the chaos of our lives, I’ll love you through it all, Bree. We’ll do this together going forward, and I can’t wait to love you for the rest of our lives.”
“I love you, Vince. And I’m glad I’m still here to be able to tell you that. Thank you.”
A single tear falls from his eye before I wipe it away. We head to the car where Nico is packing our bags into the back, and as I take in the state of the house that protected me for four years, the house that saw me at my best and worst, I wave goodbye.
It was good to me, but it’s time to leave the past where it should remain.
And the future has never looked brighter for me, especially when Vince slides into the back seat and threads his fingers through mine. He’s my future now, and together, we’ll build a home full of light, laughter, and love.
“Are you two lovebirds ready?” Nico asks us from the front seat.
“We’re ready,” I whisper, and Vince squeezes my hand three times as we drive away.