Chapter Twelve
Doing What We Thought Was Right
When I brought my daughter home, our families welcomed her with open arms.
Before long, both my mother and Richard's mother believed the right thing was for Richard and me to get married.
The truth was, Richard and I hadn't been together during my pregnancy. I wasn't excited about marriage. I kept asking myself how you marry someone you don't love.
But we were young, we had a baby, and everyone believed marriage was simply what you did.
So we did.
Our families gave us a beautiful wedding. I wore a white dress, Richard wore a white tuxedo, and friends and family celebrated with us.
I wanted it to work.
I became a Certified Nursing Assistant at eighteen and worked night shift at our local nursing home. Richard's mother cared for our daughter while I worked.
When I became a CNA, I thought it might only be the beginning. I wanted to continue school and become a Registered Nurse.
But something about being a CNA kept pulling at my heart. I was right there with the people I cared for, helping with the everyday things that mattered. The longer I did the work, the more I understood that I didn't have to become an RN to prove I had gone far enough.
Being a CNA was where I belonged.
From the outside, everything looked as though it was falling into place.
Behind closed doors, our marriage began falling apart.
Richard became abusive.
I had never lived in a home where I was treated that way. I learned quickly that a child can give two people a reason to try, but a child cannot create the love a marriage needs.
In the middle of it all, I became pregnant again, this time with a little boy.
When I was five months pregnant, I made one of the hardest decisions of my young life.
I left.
I moved back in with Mom. By then, she had remarried. I was grateful for somewhere safe to go, but I knew I needed a place of my own.
I was about to become the mother of two children.
For the second time in my young life, I was starting over.