Chapter 17 Amelia Ridley #3
While she was deep in thought, Amelia noticed Kavita trail off by herself, holding something she hadn’t seen before.
It was a brown leather journal, and her sister was furiously flipping through the pages.
“I am keeping this. It is about me and Franklin. Something we did last summer. Dale had it written in here and had my interview as the next thing, but he didn’t get the chance to run it.
I remember him having it in his hand when I saw him.
I don’t know how it ended up here, but I am keeping it. ”
Amelia could see that the journal had been hidden in the mud.
If you weren’t looking for it, you never would have noticed it.
She was going to object, but she and Kavita had been through enough.
Whatever she had done last summer was surely just as bad as what the rest of them had done.
This was a never-ending cycle that she wanted to stop.
“We have to find out who is leaving these letters, Kavi.”
Kavita’s eyes widened with apparent fear. A heavy hand grabbed Amelia’s shoulder and swung her around.
“What are you two sneaky gals doing up this early?” Jamison said with a grin, before he kissed Amelia.
“Just having some sister time. Needed some quiet.” She lied so easily it scared her.
Kavita put the journal behind her back.
“Since when did you start writing, Kavita? Never thought I would see the day,” Jamison said peculiarly.
“Oh, you know, older sister rubbing off on me. I’ll let you two lovebirds talk.”
Amelia’s heart nearly sank when their eyes met.
“Amelia.”
“Jamison.”
He reached out his hand to hers as she approached him.
“I assumed you ran away to another country after I hadn’t heard from you,” Amelia said, annoyed.
Jamison looked down, disappointed. Maybe she’d spoken too soon and he was about to inform her of the sudden departure he was bound to make. After all, Amelia had always said he was a runner. Why would he treat her any differently?
“We can’t be together,” he said coldly.
She laughed as he harped on and on. Could he be any more predictable? She wanted to say more, but all that she had left was the croak of her laughter turning into tears.
“Look, Amelia, you don’t know how bad I want us. I really want us more than anything in the world,” Jamison said desperately.
He could have fooled her. He almost looked like he loved her. But for him to leave when she and her family were going through this turmoil was just like him.
“Okay,” Amelia said, with nothing left to give.
Problems with men were something she didn’t need right now. So she would gladly cut the reins that kept him there if he wanted to go.
“You can leave,” she said as she turned away.
He grabbed her hand, bringing her back to him.
“Amelia, the reason I can’t let myself have you is because of my family. I would never forgive myself if I bound you to their fate,” Jamison said, his hands trembling.
She knew it—she could never be enough, only useful in business, just as her father had molded her to be. Always the one leading people out of their misery but not her own. Jamison was supposed to be her safe place.
“If you only knew half of what my family is going through, nothing your family has done would sway me from being with you. Nothing. So let me make that choice and deal with my fate as long as I can be with you. Jamison, I never cared about any man before or after you. I remember seeing you yell at those boys in school who would taunt me for looking after helpless animals. I remember how you helped me and gave me those wildflowers anytime I was sad. Let me remember more with you,” Amelia pleaded.
She hated how pathetic she looked, but as much as she tried to ignore it, she did want to be loved. Finally, he broke. He broke down crying to an extent Amelia had never seen before. His tears brought him to the ground.
“My family has lost it all, Amelia. I have nothing to give you. Don’t you see?”
Amelia was bewildered at this statement, as she didn’t want to assume what he meant.
“Amelia, I have always wanted you. Even when my father spoke ill about your family, I wanted you no matter what. I remember seeing you, Mellie, that day we raced on the field, and I couldn’t imagine myself with another woman from that moment.
But once we moved, things went further downhill for my family.
This estate was once our grandfather’s, but Mother always wanted to live in the city.
So we did. I didn’t think much of it when we moved back here.
Until we saw fewer and fewer maids and groundspeople. ”
He was out of breath, but he continued. “Father has gambled everything away and put money into things he shouldn’t have.
That’s why he was trying to get in with your father, especially through our relationship.
Everything felt tainted as he begged me to marry you once he found out you’d run the company.
“Everything was genuine until it wasn’t.
Father kept ringing in my ear to escalate our relationship, which truly I wanted to, but I wanted to do so in my own time.
I have always lived by my father’s rules, so I always left the country when I could to escape his pestering needs when they grew far too great for me.
This is why I can’t continue this relationship, at least not now.
Because Father would do anything to keep money in our family; I can’t be with you in good conscience knowing this. ”
Amelia’s mind was melting down as each second went by.
Why did he have to tell her this? Why now?
But no, this was her life. Her gut feeling, that it had always been calculated, had been right, but she didn’t realize it was to this extent.
The Grant family wasn’t vying for her hand in marriage with their son because she was a perfect match for him, but because their ego had been hit by their crumbling empire.
She had saved her own family empire too many times before.
Amelia wasn’t going to do it for his. She swallowed hard, and a lump stuck in her throat.
“Jamison, I can’t—I can’t do this. I need to go.”
Jamison looked at her with so much guilt.
She would have rather he stuck with her than abandon her these last few months.
Amelia realized people were only there for her when they needed something or were begging for forgiveness.
Now she had nothing to give either. Jamison held his hands over his face.
He turned and walked toward home, kicking a pile of leaves hard in anger.
Their families had their own issues, and bringing them together now would only add more to her plate.
Amelia saddled her horse, Mya, needing to get away from home after this morning.
As she rode to the edge of the estate, she saw Adesua in the back seat of Mr. Pierre’s car, looking hopeless.
She waved goodbye to her, but it seemed Adesua had her own share of worries.