Chapter 48
FORTY-EIGHT
Nerves wrack through me, and my stomach churns violently.
I look around the curtain Cyrus and I are standing behind.
Silva Roberts sits in her designated chair as she talks to the live audience, her demeanor soft and happy, ever the professional.
She was the top pick from both of our labels to break the story, and for once, I actually agreed with them.
Silva has a reputation of being respectable, both on and off camera.
Her team is serious about boundaries, and that made this a shoo-in for what we have to discuss.
It still doesn’t mean I want to do it.
“Are you sure about this? We can turn around now, cancel the interview. We don’t have to do this if you feel uncomfortable,” Cyrus says beside me, his hand on my back the only thing keeping me grounded.
I shake my head, thinking about the events from the last few weeks.
With everything that’s happened with the tour getting canceled, Cleo’s overdose and being forced into rehab, and Jamie and Cyrus’s relationship getting leaked, us bonding and then my subsequent heat, there hasn’t been any time to do any real damage control, which our teams have been pushing for relentlessly.
People are pissed about the canceled tour dates, and it’s starting to show as our sales have been fluctuating.
Our fans want to know the truth. To them, everything is still unclear.
Did I betray Cleo? Is that how she ended up overdosing?
If only they knew that the truth is never that simple.
“We have to do this,” I counter, but I’m trying to convince myself more than telling him. “We have the narrative, we just have to go with it. Everything is going to be okay.”
Despite my nerves, I truly believe that. Lark and Nicola both made statements during my heat. They stood beside me, told everyone that things aren’t what they seem. It helped take some of the heat off from the fans who thought I hurt Cleo. With their support, I feel like I can do anything.
I’m wondering if I should have taken up Lark’s offer to be beside me today, but I knew I needed to face this head-on, with confidence.
I just wish I knew how Cleo was feeling. She refuses to answer any calls at the rehab center. I feel worse that she is avoiding everyone, not just me. I feel like I’ve put a huge split into our dynamic, and I don’t know what to do.
But it’s time for people to know the partial truth. I don’t want to hide behind a social media post with vague statements. I want people to hear from my mouth that—although in an unfortunate situation—I found my scent matches.
I don’t want to be the bad guy in the story when I’ve done nothing wrong, and I’m finally ready to be transparent about what led us here.
Most of it anyway.
If anything, I’m upset that it took so long for our teams to arrange this interview. After bonding and having my heat, I should be on cloud nine, but now I’m pulled right back down, forced to deal with the nonsense of public relations.
One of the stagehands rounds the corner and gestures at us that we’re on in one minute. Cyrus takes my hand and squeezes before pulling me into his body. I take a deep breath, and then we’re being introduced.
“We have an exclusive today. I feel so honored to have these two icons here to speak on some very serious matters that have been occurring in their lives. So, please, let’s give a gracious welcome to Cyrus Darlington and Josephine Rosewood!”
It feels like everything is going at lightning speed as we walk on set.
The audience applauds for us, loud. It’s overwhelming, along with the bright lights overhead, but I find myself smiling as best as I can as we walk to the seating area.
I don’t even notice that we’re still holding hands until we get to the host, her eyes trailing over us with kind eyes.
She gives me a hug, but avoids touching Cyrus.
Rumors of our bonding have circled recently—probably due to a leak at one of our labels—so she shies away from touching my alpha just in case.
Which is good. I am already feeling weirdly territorial after my heat, so her touching him would probably send my nervous system into overdrive.
We go through the pleasantries while I’m internally freaking out. Cyrus is charming, as always, and Silva is generous. I think she can see the anxiety riddled on my face because the environment turns somber.
“How are you holding up, Josie?” she asks. “I know it’s been an intense couple of months for you.”
Instead of staring blankly at her, I find the energy to nod. “It’s been difficult, to say the least. It feels like one of the best times of my life is coinciding with one of the worst.”
“And when you say the best, you say that in regards to what, exactly?”
I look over at Cyrus, and he’s already looking at me. His eyes are patient, his smile soft. I can’t help but feel all the anxiety drift away as I look at him, his dark chocolate scent lulling away all stress.
“Meeting my scent matches,” I say honestly. “It was the last thing I ever expected and an absolute whirlwind, but I am so lucky to have them by my side.”
Cyrus takes my hand, and the crowd lets out an audible “aww” before they applaud once more.
When it quiets once more, Silva is smiling. “And did you scent match to every band member in The Rogues?”
“Yes, I did.”
She gives us a knowing look. “I guess this means you are all an official pack?”
Cyrus takes the reins, smiling in a way that I know is genuine. He’s been waiting for this day, the day he can finally claim his pack publicly.
“Yes, we are. Our pack bonds have clicked in, and I can officially announce that we are Pack Darlington. I am a very proud and happy prime.”
The audience loves that sentiment as they clap and sigh with awe. When it dies down, the host looks to us once more. “How did you two first meet?”
“In the hallway right before our first meeting regarding the new tour format. It nearly knocked me off my feet,” Cyrus says.
The crowd laughs and Silva asks, “And you never met before that?”
I shake my head, knowing what she’s really asking. “We never met when Cyrus and Cleo were dating, so it never struck me that it was a possibility that we could be linked.”
“That’s kind of odd that you never met your best friend’s partner.”
I put on my best poker face and shrug causally.
“We were so busy back then. Both Vicious Velvet and The Rogues were just starting out and we both had our obligations. Whenever Cleo and Cyrus had free time, they spent it together. The girls and I didn’t want to crowd them when they barely got to see each other. ”
“And does it bother you? That your best friend dated your scent match?”
I swallow, but catch myself. I knew I would have to lie a bit when I came out here. Luckily, there’s still a lot of truth in my words, just not in the same context that we have to present it as.
“She didn’t know,” I answer honestly. “None of us could have known this would be the situation we ended up in. Being scent matches kind of throws all of that out the water.”
“Do you think Cleo feels that way? She seems to have some strong feelings about the two of you being together.”
“Cleo wants me to be happy. We’ve always wanted that for each other, our entire lives. Anything happening between us right now has more to do with our friendship rather than her past relationship with Cyrus.”
Twisting the truth still leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but the world can’t know that our team faked their relationship. It’s a cardinal rule in Hollywood, and one that I don’t want to break one bit. Our contracts are ironclad about that.
“When did things start to happen with Cleo? Do you recall when things started to change?”
I shake my head. “She started becoming angry. All the time. It was so difficult to see my childhood best friend like that, and I didn’t know why. I was oblivious to it and didn’t see the signs until it was too late.”
“So you had no idea she was using?”
“I knew during our first tour that she had experimented, but I thought it was all recreational. I had no idea that she had been using for a lot longer than that.”
She turns to my mate. “Did you know, Cyrus?”
He nods. “A few months into our relationship, I started seeing things that I saw in the rock world. I thought I was imagining it at first. But one time we went out, and she had been in the bathroom for a long time, so I went to check on her. I thought maybe she was being harassed by a fan or something similar, but then I walked in and saw her snorting a line of cocaine. That was when I knew I needed to pull back from our relationship.”
My lips flatten, because he told me this story the other day. They may not have been actually dating, but he did catch her once and she blew up at him. It still hurts to think about. My entire perception of their feud was completely wrong.
“Did you tell her that?”
Another nod. “I think she felt hurt by me calling it off. I’ve never agreed with that kind of lifestyle, and she didn’t understand that I didn’t want to be around it, even recreationally. And then there’s Jamie…”
“Who you were falling in love with,” she guesses.
Albeit wrong, Cyrus has to agree with a nod.
“It had been a long time coming, but we finally allowed ourselves to unfold the feelings that were always there. That’s why it didn’t work out with Cleo, and why the aftermath lingered for way too long.
I was upset that she tried to make me into the villain when it came to our breakup, and she was afraid that I was going to tell someone about her drug use. ”
It’s the sprinkle of truth he is allowed. All of the back and forth, all of their jabs at each other. Cleo was trying to discredit him because she hated that he knew this vulnerable information about her.
And here we are, airing it out anyway.
I think I’m going to be sick.
“Why didn’t you tell anyone about it?” she asks.
Cyrus flattens his lips for a second, and I know he’s working through what to say, what bits of truth to slide in.
“Substance abuse has such a stigma attached to it. I’ve never once thought of Cleo as a bad person, and I still don’t.
Addiction is a disease, and I think she deserves all the grace in the world as she works through it. ”
My heart swells. Those weren’t words given to him from his publicist; they are completely his own. I can see it plain as day how much he means them, how much this interview is hurting him just as much as it’s hurting me.
“Have you heard from her?” Silva inquires, pulling me from my moment of awe.
I go to talk, but Cyrus squeezes my hand once more. “She is safe, in a facility that can help her. We have high hopes. And we’re going to be there to support her every step of the way.”
It’s honest, and I know he sees how much I appreciate it when he sees my face soften. I am going to support her; I just have to wait for her to let me.
When we get home, the guys are waiting for us, their energies a collective calm.
They are patient with me as I change out of my clothes and into comfier ones, letting me decompress before I come back to where they are waiting for me.
Their bodies form a makeshift nest on the living room couch, and I climb in the middle, needing them all in equal vicinity, their scents surrounding me in a lulling song.
They speak sweet words to me, whispering praises even though they know I feel nothing but guilt for what Cyrus and I had to do.
Doing that interview, having to bend the truth, makes me feel selfish, but they remind me that I didn’t have a choice.
Our careers, our lives, are full of obligations, and we are the drivers that must fulfill them.
“She still hasn’t called me back,” I murmur, the pain of that once again puncturing me right in the chest. Not just because it stings with rejection, but because even after everything she’s done, I still had the grace to be there for her, and she didn’t pick up.
“She will,” Cyrus tells me, his voice firm. “Give her time, Omega. Cleo will return to herself. You have to be patient.”
Remi puts on one of my favorite anime movies as Lennon gets the takeout from the delivery driver outside.
“Who got the sashimi?” he asks as he walks back in.
“That’s Josie’s,” Jamie says, taking the bag from him. They all work to pull everything out and spread it across the coffee table.
“It looks really good,” Malaki comments, leering near me.
Remi flicks him. “That’s her sashimi.”
“Hey!” my blue-haired alpha shrieks, dramatically holding the side of his head. “I just wanted a bite.”
“You can have a bite,” I laugh. “As long as I can have some of your gyoza.”
“You could have half of them if you so pleased, Bubbles.”
He happily places a few on my plate and my smile beams. When Jamie places an extra container of eel sauce beside me, it gets even brighter.
The guys all start to discuss the movie, confused by the discreet way the two teenagers are switching bodies, and it turns into a playfully heated argument on who is guessing the correct plot twist. Lennon looks at me with a smirk since we’re the only ones who actually know how this movie turns out.
All of it turns my heart inside out, the sadness subsiding with each playful word and each piece of themselves they give to me.
Life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would. When I was younger, the only person I thought about and made decisions for was Cleo. The love and support she gave me got me through the hard times with my parents, with feeling like I deserved their conditional love.
As I look around at my pack, my mates, I realize that the dream I had—us becoming rock stars—was to satisfy my need for community, to control my own destiny.
But the real dream was always meant for me, the pieces of that puzzle all sitting beside me now, their loves pouring out in droves simply because I exist.
Despite the worry, the anger, the uncertainty surrounding Cleo and our friendship, I also feel relief. She is safe and getting the help she needs, and I am surrounded by my mates, the ones I almost forfeited.
I’ve never been so happy to be hit in the face with reality, because now I am surrounded by all the love that my younger self yearned for. Not just surrounded but soaking in the vast light of it. And despite the cliche of it—I have to say—it is a dream come true.