Chapter 13
13
Sloane: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?
Sloane: HOLY SOCIAL MEDIA!
Sloane: IS THIS POST EVEN REAL? AM I DREAMING? IF I AM, DON’T WAKE ME UP.
Sloane: THIS IS LIKE FINDING OUT I CAN RENT A ONE-BEDROOM IN THE CITY FOR $1000 A MONTH!
Malone: Don’t be silly. You know a one-bedroom in the city for 1K is nothing but a fairy tale. That’s like believing in Santa Claus.
Sloane: There’s no such thing as Santa?
Malone: Hate to break it to you.
Sloane: Next thing I know you’ll be telling me the sun doesn’t rotate around Earth.
Malone: I’m a regular dream-crusher.
Sloane: You’re actually a dream-maker. My rescue snagged nearly $5000 in donations tonight alone. From that video!!! I am over the moon!
Malone: That’s amazing. You deserve it.
Sloane: I’m so happy, I could kiss your friend for sharing this.
Malone: Sorry, I must have heard you wrong. You said you could kiss Nick, but I think you meant to say you could kiss me.
Sloane: I CAN TOTALLY KISS YOU.
Malone: I’m heading to a gig in a few minutes. If you want to show up in the front row and then lay one on me, I’ll be the guy holding the mic, wearing a tailored suit, singing love songs in my delicious crooner’s tenor. (Hey, that’s how the reviewer at The City Observer described me, just saying.)
Sloane: Don’t tempt me.
Malone: Are you tempted?
Sloane: It’s like you’ve dangled Peanut Butter Dream ice cream in front of me.
Malone: Take a lick. Hell, lick the whole damn cone.
Sloane: How did we get back to flirting so quickly? We were talking about the donations! The big, huge, awesome donations that I will put to excellent use.
Malone: We returned to flirting because you said you wanted to lick me. I can’t help it if that’s where your mind goes. Evidently, I’m lickable.
Sloane: So I should come listen and then lick you?
Malone: Brilliant idea!
Sloane: But seriously.
Malone: Why would you think I wasn’t serious? I take you licking my cone incredibly seriously.
Sloane: Has anyone ever told you that you can turn anything into a dirty comment?
Malone: This from the woman who used two size-centric adjectives to describe a donation.
Sloane: I was talking about a monetary contribution!
Malone: Or maybe your mind is on all things big and huge.
Sloane: Like I said, you can turn everything naughty.
Malone: It’s one of my great skills.
Sloane: You have many great skills.
Malone: That is true. But I won’t be much use at the singing one if I’m late. I’ll simply pretend you’re in the front row and I’m singing to you to celebrate the BIG, HUGE, AWESOME . . . donation.
Sloane: You want me to come by and celebrate?
Malone: Let’s be honest. A big, huge donation is celebration-worthy. We need to toast to it.
Sloane: Don’t you think that would be dangerous though? As in tempting?
Malone: We lasted a week together in the office and didn’t maul each other. Clearly, we’re 100 percent in the friend zone.
Sloane: Is that so? A minute ago you asked me to lick you.
Malone: And now I’m cured. I see you as an undangerous, untempting, completely un-risky colleague. :)
Sloane: It’s the same for me. I suppose, then, as an un-temptress, I could come see you.
Malone: Now you’re talking. And with you as an un-vixen, we can celebrate.
Sloane: Is anyone else going?
Malone : Hopefully everyone in New York. I enjoy a packed house. But if you’re asking if you can have me to yourself to celebrate, the answer is yes. Seems fitting, since you were the one who encouraged me to go the Michael Bublé route.
Sloane: True. And you encouraged me to start a rescue.
Malone: And here we are, thanks to each other. Seems we have double to celebrate.
Sloane: I am grateful, Malone. No joking, no teasing. I am so grateful for your encouragement years ago.
Malone: I am too, Sloane. So much.
Sloane: One drink sounds lovely.
Malone: I promise I won’t let you kiss me again, even if you try.
Sloane: Please. I can resist you.
Malone: Of course you can.
Sloane: You don’t think I’m able to?
Malone: Just teasing . I have utter faith in your abilities. So much so that I’m not afraid to sing my sexiest, swooniest numbers in front of you tonight.