22. Arden
22
ARDEN
That night when I’m alone, I’m ready, so ready. I don’t even need a dirty book or a Tumblr feed.
I’m aching and swollen between my legs, and when I lie down on my bed and slide my hand inside my panties, I’m slick. From spending the whole damn day with Gabe. I turn on the vibrator, and I know it won’t take long at all.
Pleasure spirals in me, and I moan, and I fantasize. I imagine I’m saying all sorts of things to a lover.
A few minutes later, I’m coming, and it feels glorious.
But I want more. I want so much more . . .
Out of nowhere, or perhaps out of today, Gabe’s face flickers before me, his lips, his smile.
For a moment, I try to resist. But my body is beyond fighting.
With those images, I go again, warring with my brain.
I try to shove away thoughts of him.
He’s a friend, only a friend.
But I’m seeing him take off his shirt, revealing his chest, then dipping his thumbs in the waistband of his shorts and shucking them off.
Holy fuck.
I just undressed my best friend for the first time, and God, he looks beautiful naked.
He looks even better when he climbs on the bed and buries his face between my legs, devouring me. I pretend he’s here, and I’m telling him exactly what I want.
I come harder and longer.
When I turn off the rabbit, waves of pleasure still radiate through my legs like electric pulses. They crest over me, a true high, as I grab my phone and text him.
Arden: Hi . . . I did homework.
Gabe: I can’t wait for your book report.
My thumbs hover over the keys. Am I doing this? Am I going to tell him what comes out of my mouth?
I think of the book club ladies and their boldness. Of Madeline and her confidence on the job.
This is what it means to be a woman today—to own your choices.
I’m confident with my friends.
I’m good at my job.
And I want a rich and layered sex life.
Here goes.