8
Annie
The morning sky is pale pink when I head out to the berry patch.
As soon as I woke up, I decided I needed to pick berries in order to make a peace offering to Brandon.
I said some cruel things to him last night.
And worse, I only said them because I was trying to get some distance from him. If only he had put a shirt on. . . .
I blamed him, but I know he’s right. Pepper wouldn’t have left a tarantula at Jack’s if I hadn’t taught her the fine art of matchmaking. I totally deserved the tarantula, although I’m not sure Jack did.
Poor Jack. He apologized for freaking out about the spider when I finally returned.
He wondered where I’d been. I gave him some story about taking Pepper home after I found her wandering outside.
No need to tell Jack that Pepper sent the tarantula.
I can’t have him angry at her, especially when it’s really my fault.
Jack wanted me to stay longer, but I couldn’t be kissing Jack with my head full of Brandon.
He had no business looking that good with his mussed-up hair and Clark Kent glasses.
I pick a particularly plump berry and pop it in my mouth. It’s the perfect mix of sweet and tart.
“You’re up early,” my mom says with some surprise as she joins me in the berry patch on the south side of Bumble Cottage.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to do some baking. Is it okay if I steal some berries? Or do you need them all for the cafe?”
“Take as many as you want. There are so many ripe berries right now; it would be a shame to let any go to waste.”
“What do you plan to make?”
“Olallieberry pancakes, plus a berry bundt cake to serve with lunch.” Olallieberries are a local berry similar to blackberries but somehow better.
“Sounds amazing. Let me help”
“And what are you baking?”
“Berry bars. I got in a fight with Brandon last night, and I need to apologize.”
“About Jack?” my mom asks as she picks berries, dropping them in an empty plastic ice cream bucket.
“Surprisingly, no. It was about Pepper.” I tell my mom about the tarantula and seeing Pepper sneak back into her house.
She finds it all very funny, which it is.
“I just feel terrible, because I shouldn’t have gone over at all.
And I said so many dumb things, but the worst was when I accused him of being a bad parent. ”
“Annie, how could you?” The shock and disappointment in my mom’s voice intensifies my regret. I kind of hoped she’d say I was making a big deal over nothing. But I know I’m not. Brandon is my friend—and such a good dad. It’s one of my favorite things about him. I can’t believe I said that.
“I don’t know. Probably because he was telling me it was all my fault. And I knew he was right. He was so angry at me, and I hated it. We’ve never fought like that before.”
“Is it because of Jack?”
“I don’t know. Maybe . . . I blame the Narnia closet.”
“What?”
“It’s a funny story, really—except it isn’t.”
I tell her about Pepper locking us up in the small closet. “Brandon also blamed me for that.”
“He has a point. You deserve all this,” my mom cackles. “Why didn’t you tell me about this earlier?” Good question. Probably because the whole incident left me flustered. And also because I feel protective of Brandon. I’m pretty sure he said more than he meant to.
“Because . . . I don’t know . . . before I had resigned myself to being just friends. And now . . .”
“Did he admit he has feelings?”
“Not exactly. And that’s the problem.” Trust me, it’s not easy.
I can’t say for sure what he meant by that, but the look on his face as he said those words is seared in my memory.
“In fact, he made it clear that he has no plans to date.” I’m mature enough to admit that’s the real reason Pepper’s lie about Brandon setting up a dating profile got to me.
Though at the time, I may have wanted to throw something.
“He hasn’t asked me out or said anything, but then sometimes he’ll look at me .
. . and . . . and he hates Jack. I don’t know what to think. ”
“Maybe you’re the one who needs to admit to having feelings.” My mom continues picking berries like she didn’t just toss an emotional grenade at me.
“I . . . no . . . I’m with Jack. If Brandon does suddenly have feelings for me, he’s too late. I’m not risking my relationship with Jack—or my friendship with Brandon and Pepper—over a bunch of nothing.”
“Well, you have to follow your heart. And Jack seems like a great guy, but for what it’s worth, I think Brandon has feelings for you.
I would even guess he loves you.” My mom’s words hang in the morning mist. They don’t make me giddy with joy as they might have once.
Instead, they make me deeply uneasy and sad.
I want them to be true. But I know better.
My mom doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Like me, my mom sees romance everywhere.
And this time she’s just seeing what she wants to see.
I spent all winter hoping Brandon would notice me.
If he were really interested, he would have done something about it, right?
Even last night . . . I didn’t mean to put my hand on his chest—that was absolutely an accident.
But once my skin was on his, I couldn’t think straight.
I blush, thinking about the way his eyes seemed to linger on me.
If Brandon had made the slightest move, I would have welcomed it.
What if . . . maybe . . . then again . . .
“Brandon doesn’t love me. He’s made that clear, which is fine because I’m not interested.” Until this moment I had no idea I could lie so cooly. I almost convince myself. “Besides, I’m dating Jack. He told me he loved me after two days. I’ve known Brandon for a year, and he’s never made a move.”
“Jack is certainly everything you’ve hoped for.”
“He is.” I pick more berries. “Mom, how do you know when you’re in love?”
“That’s a tricky question without an easy answer. Why do you ask?”
“I always thought I’d know the moment I met my true love. Just like you and dad. But now that I’ve met Jack, I wonder.”
My mom makes a humming noise. “I liked your father the moment I met him. I was definitely attracted to him . . . but it wasn’t love at first sight for me.”
“Mom! You’re crushing my childhood dreams,” I say with intentional drama.
“Sorry, it’s the truth. Falling in love isn’t really that hard; people do it all the time.
I think what you’re really asking is who do I want to commit to?
I needed to know more about him before I decided he was worth committing to.
I needed to know if we had enough to build a life together.
Not just shared values but shared interests.
As well as trust and open communication. ”
“Mom! This is shockingly unromantic stuff you’re saying here.”
“I know . . . but I’ve seen too many women give their hearts to undeserving men, and I just can’t bear the thought of that happening to you.”
“Are you saying Jack is undeserving?”
“No, not at all. From what I can see, he seems to be the real thing. But if your heart is with Brandon . . .”
“Can we not talk about Brandon anymore? Everyone talked me into liking him, and I listened and all I got was my first taste of heartbreak. Then Jack shows up. And he’s all in. I think the Universe is telling me something.”
I take my berries and stride off to Bumble Cottage. I’m angry all over again at Brandon, and I can’t even say why. I’m so confused. I’m desperate for some clarity. Lady Whimple has her work cut out for her.
***
I’m just taking the pan of berry bars out of the oven when Pepper knocks on the door.
Her hair is in respectable French braids.
I can picture Brandon braiding them with his usual look of intense concentration as he holds the elastic in his mouth.
The thought fills me with guilt. He is such a good father. How could I have ever said that to him?
“I came to apologize,” she says, holding out a bouquet of wildflowers and weeds. She’s hamming it up a bit for me. But I don’t mind. I would do the same thing at her age. Or even now.
“So tell me, did you set the tarantula in Jack’s cottage?”
“I did.” She’s frowning, but her eyes twinkle. “I’m sorry—please forgive me.”
“I already have. I’m sorry if I got you in trouble with your dad.”
“He pretends to be strict. But he’s an old softie.”
“I know.” I think of how Brandon’s eyes soften whenever he is talking to his daughter.
“Would you like some berry bars for second breakfast?”
“Yes, please! Dad and Edward are off doing boring work stuff.”
“I’m surprised that he’s letting you roam free.”
“It’s killing him, but I am ten now.” I hide my smile as I cut us each an olallieberry bar.
“Your braids look great.”
“Dad’s getting pretty good.”
“He is. But now that you’re ten, maybe you would like to learn to do them yourself?”
“Yes! Then I wouldn’t have to wait on him.”
“My morning’s free. If it’s okay with your dad, we can work on braids till noon.”
I text Brandon.
Annie
Pepper’s here. Is it okay if she hangs out with me till lunch? I promise to be a good influence. No shenanigans. Pinky promise
Brandon
Sounds good. I’m sorry about what I said last night. I’ll pick her up around noon.
Annie
Come hungry. I made you apology bars ??
Brandon
Is that like humble pie?
Annie
No, because they are delicious. Humble pie is bitter
Brandon
Nah! Humble pie is sweet.
Annie
You are so wrong about this
Brandon
Nope.
Annie
Wait till I present my full case to you. I’ll make a PowerPoint and everything
Brandon
I look forward to it.
I smile to myself as I read his texts. It feels good to be back on good terms with Brandon, even if we’re joking about something dumb.
“Who are you texting?”
“Your dad.”
“Really?” Pepper asks with a sly smile before taking another bite of her berry bar. The little rascal may have promised not to sabotage my relationship with Jack, but I don’t think she’s finished with matchmaking.
***