11
Brandon
“Pepper, did you go into that man’s house again?”
“I don’t see why you’re so angry. I thought it all through. I didn’t damage any property. I didn’t steal anything!”
Oh, the confidence of a ten-year-old. It’s a beautiful thing—and so dangerous.
“Honey, haven’t you heard of breaking and entering?
Going into another person’s house is against the law.
I seriously hope he doesn’t call the police.
” At least I know that Annie, who just left to comfort her hysterical boyfriend, won’t betray Pepper.
“He won’t call the cops. He’s guilty of something. That message wouldn’t scare someone unless they were guilty of something big.”
“As much as I dislike the guy, I think it’s pretty normal to be upset about some stranger sneaking into your house. This has got to stop. You have to accept that Annie and I aren’t getting together.”
“You can’t just give up on her like that! She loves you! She’s just confused right now because Jack gives her the fairytale. But she wants to be with you, and you—you are just letting her go like you don’t even care.”
“Of course I care!” I take a moment to gain control of my voice. “But, Pepper, you can’t trick or trap a person into loving you.”
“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m scaring Jack off. So you two have a chance.”
“I don’t think I have a chance,” I say flatly.
“Of course you do! I might be a kid, but that doesn’t mean I’m blind. I’ve seen Annie give you so many hints, and I’ve watched you ignore them. Don’t you like her?”
I think back over recent moments with Annie. The lingering touches, the stolen glances. I really don’t think I’m imagining it all. I swear there’s this constant tension between us.
But Annie’s dating Jack. I have to respect her wishes. What else can I do? Tell her she’s actually more interested in me than Jack? No, I’m not that full of myself—or that certain. I have to trust that she knows her own heart.
“Of course I like her—how can I help it? She’s joy personified.
Everything is better when Annie’s around.
” Or it was, until Jack showed up and my ten-year-old started playing matchmaker.
Pepper is so determined and reckless—I’m worried about what she might try next.
I need to squash this dream now. “Annie’s .
. . amazing. But that doesn’t mean I want to date her, let alone marry her.
” I lie to Pepper for the first time, and I hate it.
But I don’t know what else to do. “You need to let go of that idea. It’s never going to happen. ”
“But she loves you,” Pepper whines. I hate how much I savor those words, even when I don’t believe them. “And you love her.” I let out a bitter laugh.
“Maybe . . .” I can’t bring myself to deny it. “But she doesn’t love me. Pep, this may come as a shock, but not everyone thinks I’m as wonderful as you do.”
“They should! You’re the best dad in the world.
And I’m not just saying that. Olivia’s dad doesn’t even know how to make grilled cheese sandwiches.
” She lets out a little sob, and I wrap my arms around her.
“Or braid her hair,” she sniffles into my shoulder.
“I didn’t know I was breaking any laws .
. .” She bursts into more tears, and for a minute, my bright courageous ten-year-old is a little girl again who has fallen off her bike and is running to me for comfort.
I wish a band-aid and a hug could still make everything right.
I don’t know what to do. She is my whole world and I’m hers.
And I’m acutely aware that every day brings us closer to the day that my fatherly love, which stretches as wide and deep as the starry sky above us, won’t be enough for Pepper.
“Dad, are you crying?” Pepper looks up at me with her puffy eyes.
“Maybe,” I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.
“Is it because you’re disappointed in me?”
“No! No! Sweetie, I could never be disappointed in you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Really?” She looks at me, a little skeptical.
“More than you’ll ever know. I am the most fortunate of men because I get to be your father.”
“I love you too, Daddy.” I hold her close and shed a couple more tears. After a few minutes, my curiosity overcomes me. I can’t help it, I have to ask, “Where did you get the Ex-Lax?”
“Grandma’s—I planned ahead,” she tilts her head up, her red-rimmed eyes now gleaming with mischief.
“What else did you plan, my little juvenile delinquent?”
“Alas, I had so many brilliant plans.” She climbs off my lap and sits opposite me on the coffee table. “You swear you won’t be mad at me?”
“I promise, as long as you don’t carry out any more of these brilliant plans.”
“What if I already did something you might not like . . . .”
“Yes?” I ask, nervous to find out what other shenanigans Pepper has been up to.
“I didn’t just write that message on the mirror. I also covered his toilet seat with plastic wrap.
“No!”
“I did,” she says with a small smile.
“Where did you even get the idea?”
“From Pops. He told me a story about a prank he played at Scout camp.”
“You covered the toilet with plastic wrap after you gave Jack a plate of cookies made with Ex-Lax?” I’m shaking, trying not to laugh, but it’s a losing battle.
Just like the one Jack must have faced when he ran to his toilet with G.I.
distress. “Pepper! That’s just . . .” I’m laughing so hard my eyes are watering.
“Brilliant.” I pull her in for another hug. “I’ve never been so proud.”