12 #2
“And he reads poetry. Just for fun. Do you know how many guys read poetry? Like forty-two in the whole world. And Jack is one of them. I’m never going to find a man more perfect for me. And not just that . . . he’s willing to zig when others zag. He was brave enough to leave his job in finance.”
“Or maybe he’s just rich enough.”
“I don’t understand why you’re not happy. I never thought I’d meet a man so absolutely perfect for me. Plus, he gave me a car! Can you believe it?”
“Honestly, I can’t. You guys have been dating . . . what? A few weeks?”
“It’s been a month . . . that’s long enough. You and Edward fell in love that fast.”
“True . . . but Annie, I know you. And this isn’t you in love.”
“Oh! So now you’re the expert on love?” I rub my moonstone ring.
“No, but I am an expert on my little sister. And sometimes lately I feel your happiness with Jack is forced.”
“Jack loves me! That’s enough for me.”
“That can’t be enough, Annie. Love isn’t one-sided. What about you? Do you really love Jack? Do you want to move all the way to Maine with him? Spend the rest of your life with him?”
I say nothing, because what can I say? My feelings about Jack aren’t as sure and strong as I’m claiming, but I can’t help but think that they should be.
“And what about Brandon?” she asks with an undercurrent of sadness.
“What about him?” I spit back. “He’s made it clear that he’s not interested.”
“I have a hard time believing that,” says Elinor. “Now that man . . . he would love you with his whole heart. He probably already does.”
“Don’t say that!” I feel myself choking up. I turn away quickly, hoping she doesn’t notice.
“Fine,” she sighs. “I’ll drop it. You need to get ready for work anyway.” She gives my hand a squeeze.
I nod, grateful for the excuse. Normally, I don’t mind crying in front of my sister, but right now I need to be alone.
The second she leaves the room, I hurry upstairs and fall on my bed face first and cry my heart out.
Then I remember I have a shift at the cafe in thirty minutes.
I sit up and try to pull myself together.
I need to focus on Jack. We had so much fun yesterday driving down the coast in my new car all the way to Cambria.
We visited Hearst Castle and daydreamed about which features we’d like in our home.
Jack waxed poetic telling me about growing up in Maine with the woods and the rugged coast. It sounded a lot like Big Sur, except with cheap lobster and colder winters.
“I can’t imagine why you left,” I said after he told me another story of sailing to explore tiny islands off the coast.
“I just knew my life was missing something . . . and I was right. It was you. Annie—you are the reason I sailed halfway around the world . . . and you were worth it.” I smile through my tears, thinking of the things Jack said to me.
He told me that since meeting me he feels complete.
I twist the ring he gave me. How silly of me to cry, as if my heart is breaking.
I don’t care what Elinor says. I couldn’t be happier.
My phone buzzes. It’s Susan, Brandon’s mom’s friend. I wipe the tears from my face and swipe to answer.
“Hello, Annie, I’m delighted to tell you that we’d like to offer you the position.”
“Oh, thank you! Thank you! I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
As soon as I’m off the phone I shoot Brandon a text.
Annie
I got the teaching job!!!
Brandon
That’s awesome! Way to go!
Annie
Thank you for helping me with this ?
Brandon
You deserve this!
But you don’t want to date me, ever. I tap the moonstone and try to think of all the sweet things Jack said to me yesterday.
***
When I finish my piano performance, Pepper runs up to me holding a shiny Honeycrisp apple. “I heard you got the job!” She hands me the apple and a card with an acrostic poem that spells my name. I read it out loud.
“A is for Amazing, Awesome, and Adventurous
N is for Never boring
N is for No one has better hair
I is for Interesting, Intelligent and Imaginative
E is for Extra Everything, Especially love”
My voice wobbles a little on the last line. I feel so loved by Pepper.
Standing a few feet behind her, Brandon nods with a ghost of a smile, the platonic friend I always believed him to be. I smile back, all the while fiddling with my ring.
“I’m so excited,” Pepper continues. “When you move to Redwood City, we’ll see you all the time.”
“What’s this about you moving to Redwood City?” Jack asks as he joins us. He just drove in from Monterey.
“I got the job!”
“What job?” Jack looks perplexed.
“Remember the one I was so excited about, teaching eighth grade English? I have so many ideas.” Brandon watches us intently. I swiftly turn all my focus on Jack, ignoring Brandon’s presence, but it’s a struggle. I feel his stare like the heat from a bonfire.
“You don’t need that job,” says Jack.
“Actually, I do. Not all of us are independently wealthy.”
“But what’s mine is yours.”
“That’s sweet of you to say, but it’s just not true.”
“It will be soon enough.” Jack takes my hand and starts walking. “Let’s go—I’ve planned a very special dinner for us tonight.” He puts an arm around my shoulder possessively.
I can’t help it. I glance back at Brandon. His eyes are trained on me, but his face is inscrutable. I smile and wave, but he doesn’t acknowledge me. He simply turns and walks away.
***
For dinner, Jack planned a sunset cruise on his newly repaired boat—Queen Mab.
“I approve of the name,” I say as we board.
“It seemed fitting. The Queen of Faeries, birther of dreams.”
“‘She gallops night by night through lovers’ brains, and then they dream of love . . .’”
I quote the line from Romeo and Juliet.
“Yes, exactly. Is it any wonder Queen Mab brought me to you?” I don’t answer; I just think how much my Dad would’ve loved Jack.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” I ask as Jack makes himself busy rigging the sails and doing all sorts of impressive things with ropes that apparently aren’t called ropes, but something like halyards and sheets.
“No, not this time. I’ve got a system for single-handing the boat. All you need to do tonight is relax and enjoy the view.”
On a sailboat, laid back Jack transforms into alert, driven, and capable Jack. The wind whips through his hair as he stands at the helm, guiding us out to sea. “I should have asked,” he says casually, “You don’t get seasick, do you?”
“No, not all. I love being out at sea.” And I do—I love the wind whipping through my hair and the slight sea spray misting my face. All the worries I have on the mainland seem to be carried off by the wind as we glide across the glittering water.
Big Sur is even lovelier from a distance.
We sail south along the rugged coast washed in golden light.
Twenty minutes or so later, Jack maneuvers the sails so we are at a standstill.
He unpacks our dinner: lobster rolls, fennel salad, and potato chips.
It’s all delectable. Jack did an incredible job planning this date.
The water is calm, and there’s only a light breeze.
As the sun lowers, the sea turns the color of champagne. The sky above is a soft pink.
“It’s all so unbelievably lovely.” I say, kneeling on the bench with my face toward the water.
“So you like sailing?” Jack asks, sitting beside me.
“I love it! Though this isn’t my first time on a sailboat. J.J.’s husband had one, and they often invited us. But it’s been a long time. I forgot how much I love it,” I say, watching distant waves crash against the coast.
“I’m glad you like it.” Jack wraps his arms around me from behind.
“Annie,” he whispers in my ear, “let’s take a trip, just the two of us.
We can sail down the coast and then to Hawaii.
” I turn my head a little so I can see him.
Jack is obnoxiously handsome at all times, but in the pinkish golden light of the setting sun, he is breathtaking.
I find myself raising a hand to his face just to make sure he is not a mirage. “How long would that take?”
“Three months—maybe four.”
“What about my job?”
“Don’t take it. You don’t want to be tied down. After Hawaii, I want to take you home to meet my parents. Spend a snowy Christmas with me in Maine.”
“I have always wanted a white Christmas,” I murmur to myself, my eyes drifting back to the ocean.
“You will love Christmas with my family.” I can picture it all. Snow covered pines, Jack in a fishman’s sweater. I bet he looks incredible in a sweater. My hair pulled up in a green velvet bow.
“Do you think your mom will like me?”
“Everyone will love you.” Jack says giving me another kiss.
“What if I skipped Hawaii? I could still keep my job and just fly out for Christmas, right?”
“Imagine a whole continent between us. I don’t think I could handle it. I’d crawl on my hands and knees just to be with you.”
“I don’t know. This is sudden.”
“Is it? The moment I met you, I knew. I thought you did too.”
I think of Jack pulling me from the water in the moonlight. I’d been so frustrated and embarrassed by Brandon’s rejection. Then Jack appeared as if he’d walked right out of one of my daydreams.
But was it love at first sight? I’m not so sure. I can’t help but think of Brandon. He won’t approve of me not taking the job, and Pepper will be crushed. You need to let go of that idea. It’s never going to happen.
“You know,” I say, turning back around to give Jack my full attention. “I think I will go. I’m ready for a grand adventure.”